Adonis Ramosa - 福寿草
by SassySizzleMonster
Summary: Picked for her petals, and the message she will give to them. [OC-Insert; Jiraiya's daughter; AU-ish]
1. Plucked at the Stem

It was a light tap on her shoulder that signified both an end and a beginning for her. Or was it just the middle?

Suiren didn't like thinking of the past—she thought of it too much already. Seeing the white hair of a man she wasn't supposed to know only doubled the pace of her heart as she stared in dawning and incomprehensible horror.

This man was her father, she knew that in her gut. She felt it, almost instinctively, that this was the man who sired her and she had never seen him up until now. He was also someone dead. Or would be. But everyone dies, right?

She didn't know what to feel as she gazed up at him.

Happiness? Fear? Hatred? Sadness? Or possibly even forgiveness?

Kokuji, her mother, wasn't even paying attention. She was too busy talking to the women and men she'd invited over to their dress shop today. And yet, Suiren didn't want her mother to know that this man was here. She wanted him to _leave_. So she could remain ignorant and stupid. So she didn't have to face the truth—at least not yet. She wanted more time. _Needed_ more time.

Except she had run out of it.

"Are you Kokuji-san's daughter?" His eyes were dark, but his hair was anything but. The silver caught the mid-afternoon sun as if it was a spider's web. She supposed her hair did the same. _At least I know why I have white hair now_. She'd always thought it so odd; no one else around her had it, and she often thought about who could be her father—any number of men could have been.

Now that she knew though, she almost wished she didn't.

Suiren gulped, and nodded, clenching her small fists together. "Okaa-san is over there," she pointed, hoping his eyes would trail away from her.

They didn't share the same color, hers were distinct like her mothers, something she actually liked about her face. In the past she was sure her hair and eyes had been dark brown, nearly black in color, but nice. She hadn't been boring in any means despite her coloring, but now she received too much attention. Everyone around her who didn't know who her father was thought she was an albino.

She sighed. And now they would know the truth.

* * *

He didn't crash the party the way he wanted to. He'd simply stopped the moment he saw the girl— _his_ girl. He could hardly believe his eyes when she'd turned to him after he'd gathered enough courage to tap her tiny shoulder. _God,_ she was so _short_. That was to be expected of course, if he remembered correctly, she should be all of five years old.

When he'd first heard that he'd sired a child from none other than the beautiful dress maker Kokuji-san, he had thought her lying. The girl's mother, albeit fun to enjoy 'company' with, was not a very nice woman. She was vain, prone to giving others backhanded compliments, and used manipulation and other petty techniques to get her way. Those were just a few of the things he'd noticed in the short amount of time he'd been in her company all those years ago.

She hadn't married despite being in her late thirties like him, and would probably never tie herself to one person ever. It just wasn't how Kokuji lived. She was like a bee flitting between different flowers.

He was very much the same, but he wasn't mean like her. At least he hoped not.

The girl had these big blue eyes—except, the longer he stared at them the more he realized they were two distinct separate colors. They were both like the sky, but one was brighter than the other, while her left eye was murky. Like a gray, rainy day. Or perhaps like water. Did Kokuji have eyes like her? If she did he had never paid attention.

The girl pointed behind her, but he kept staring at her. Realizing the longer he did the more he felt his world was flipping on it's axis.

 _A father, I'm actually a father_. Jiraiya had never thought he would have the pleasure of siring someone of his own, never wanted to. Being one of the Sannin had it's faults, and this was one of them. He knew what Hiruzen-sensei would say; would want him to do. And he had plans to leave the Fire Country to search for information that could help get back Orochimaru. Now, staring at her, he knew he couldn't.

"Okaa-san is over there," she said, her voice like a trinket catching the wind. He suppressed a jolt of joy at hearing his _daughter's_ first words to him and looked at her solemnly. Yes, he could see himself very clearly in her, and that she was thankfully made cute from her mother's hand in things. He wondered what her name was.

And what a shitty thing that was, right? He thought he'd been using protection with Kokuji, but it had been a long time and he couldn't remember. Perhaps he'd been a little too drunk? And how crappy was that? That this little girl he didn't even know was conceived from a _mistake_ on his part. Guilt swamped him as he looked at her. How would he even break it to her, if she hadn't already guessed.

"Uh . . . " She continued, nervously picking at her fingers. He felt just as awkward but managed to keep it all hidden behind a professional mask. Sighing, he decided he might as well talk to the girl's mother.

* * *

 _Illegal_ , it was illegal to conceal the child of a shinobi. To hide the offspring from someone as audacious as her father, it meant her mother had to give up all legal rights as penance. This meant she couldn't see her, couldn't raise her, and only if Suiren decided to approach the woman would she be able to even have a conversation with her. She basically just _gave_ her to him, and didn't look back.

It was an odd feeling, knowing she was only in the presence of a man she had read from drawn books because she was his progeny. She didn't think it felt real at all. In fact, she hardly reacted to everything they told her beside to nod and dip her chin in understanding when really she was confused.

Did her mother know what would happen when she sent the letter to Jiraiya that she would have to give her up?

Suiren didn't know how to feel about that. About not being wanted. She wasn't even a difficult child to raise . . .

She was a quiet girl, lovely like a doll, but ultimately obedient and even tempered. She didn't throw tantrums, raise her voice, or do anything that she thought would be a hindrance. So why?

She wasn't sad, she was just very lonely. In all honesty, she had no friends, was now suspecting her mother had given her away to her father, and said man only wanted her because she was the first of his line—although she knew she could have half-siblings lying about. _I mean,_ I _exist. Others might, too._

Maybe she should tell him to wrap it up if he didn't want to deal with his children. But that thought was a little rude. Still, she wasn't going to apologize about it.

They were heading to Konoha, to his house, and to be honest she hadn't even known he'd _had_ a house. _I thought he was a hermit_. And then she realized that of course he had a house, he lived in Konoha for some of the time, after all. She wondered where in the timeline she was at. She was never really good at ages, but Jiraiya looked to be in his thirties, early forties? The white hair was confusing and she hoped hers didn't make her look older if she ever got to that age.

Dying at a young age before had her questioning how long she'd last in this life.

"What's your name, kid?"

She looked at him, wondering if it was a joke that he didn't even know her name. Decided that it probably wasn't because she remembered how he hadn't even been there for Naruto, she said, "Hitogawa Suiren."

"Suiren, huh?" Jiraiya wasn't looking at her.

He did seem a tad embarrassed to not know her name, so she decided to be a little easy on him.

He _had_ come for her when he could have forgotten she even existed (or maybe he couldn't have and she was just making excuses). It was more than he did for Naruto growing up. Whom to her knowledge hadn't been born yet. She was pretty sure she'd be able to hear the news of a giant fox trying to murder a whole village, after all.

"I'm named for the flower, that's how it's written, too." She said, and then softly added, "It can mean estranged love." Suiren watched as he finally looked at her, and gave her a small, sheepish smile. He understood what she meant, although she knew he was thinking far from the feeling of _love_. It was more like duty.

And he still didn't look happy to have a daughter. More than anything, he looked a bit terrified.

* * *

 **A/N:** This is kind of sort of a rewrite from an old OC-insert, that was called Tangents of a Different Kind. This is also a really short chapter, but it's pretty much just the prologue to the story.

The title means this:

 **福寿草** \- fukujyusou; it's a flower that's related to the buttercup but it's not the same thing. Mostly it's called the pheasant's eye, or adonis vernalis/ramosa. Specifically, this flower means patience, humility, or sorrowful remembrance. The latter meaning is basically the theme of this whole story, but it's not a sad story. More of a bittersweet one. Trying to learn how to cope with having a father whose is estranged, and dealing with remembering painful things that make you want something more. At the same time, this is fluff as well, because Jiraiya and Sui are gonna learn to get along and love each other through the awkwardness uvu)9

Similarly, Suiren's name is spelled from the flower version written this way: 睡蓮 rather than 水煉 this way. It's the lotus flower! Which means eloquence as well as estranged love, and purity of heart.

Please review! ouo


	2. The Frog in the Well

She supposed she should have expected it.

Suiren wasn't from Konoha originally, but she wasn't too far away, either. She lived in a small village called Umeki, based off of the governing family who had established the place during the Warring Clans Era. Supposedly, they had later left to join Konoha as they had been a powerful ninja family (although not as strong as the Uchiha, of course). Still, the people remembered somewhat, and still paid homage to those who had once guarded the area surrounding it. Now it was your typical village, filled with civilians and a few retired shinobi or visiting ones.

Anyways, enough with the history lesson, and time for geography. She lived two days from Konoha, at least from a civilian perspective.

Jiraiya made the journey with her on his back in less than one, and it was not to see a cheery village with a nice, peaceful atmosphere. She was shocked, well and truly shocked.

 _I didn't_ — _I didn't think_ — _?_

But there they were at the base of the village, at the gate and from somewhere she could still smell smoke in the air. The wind around her was suffocating as Jiraiya set her on her feet and walked to the chuunin outpost, a frown marring his face. She trotted beside him, making sure to stay close because she felt incredibly out of depth.

She hoped this wasn't what she thought this was.

What date was it?

 _Oh, right_.

October . . . 11th.

She knew where she was in the story, at least.

* * *

He wouldn't stop _crying_ , and the woman had half a mind to just smother the babe and hope for the best.

Except doing so would get her fired, and also sent to prison—or better yet, killed.

She was not very fond of the idea, so on and on the baby cried and she unwillingly listened. She had _tried_ to get him to stop, but the boy wouldn't and soon she just became so impatient. She tried feeding him, changing his diapers, making sure the bedding was all nice and soft. But he wouldn't _stop_.

"He's a very loud one," came the nursemaid, and the woman huffed, looking at the child with derision.

"I've half a mind to give him something real to cry about," she muttered darkly. She wasn't even surprised at her own vehemence.

She had just lost her pregnant daughter, and in extension her last living relative and grandbaby. She wasn't feeling kindly right then, and probably wouldn't until the grief passed. But that's the thing, grief makes people do weird things and act peculiar. And although before the night of the fox demon she would've never suggested harming a child, she felt this was a decent exception.

There was now an entire village of people with these same exact thoughts.

* * *

Jiraiya sighed with gravity, the details of the event running in his head as he and his . . . daughter went off to meet his godson, Naruto. How the situation led to his acquirement of a small child and a baby, he would never know, but the world was intent on making him some sort of _dad_.

Despite the somber mood, when he'd told her that they were going to see his godson, who was a baby, she promptly beamed, and to lighten the atmosphere said, "He's your godson, so I suppose he's like my little brother?" And he'd nodded, too tired to deny her that. Weren't most children jealous of younger siblings? Eh, whatever.

So there they were, in the Konoha's Illustrious Orphanage (not the real title by any means, a pet name more like) heading off into the grey hallways of the facility that was taking care of the boy.

In all his years, he didn't understand why they didn't add color to this place, or at least make it a little home-y. Even if it would never _be_ a home. As it was, it reminded him too much of the hospital—so like a prison. It's layout was simple, hallways with rooms with beds and then other rooms where all the clothes were, that went on for quite a while. Included was a cafeteria that didn't make the best food. That's all there had been when he lived here.

Now, there was also a recreation room, some sort of practice field for orphans training to become shinobi, and some sort of field course.

Walking through the familiar halls he felt sick. He had grown up here, remembered it vividly and hated it for what it became for him. A jail cell. Even if there were added things now than then, there had been no change to the rest of the interior, and he could picture his uncomfortable bed, the shitty food, the sound of rowdy, angry children. His voice had been an added note in that symphony. Before he had become a genin.

It made his chest tighten. He really didn't like it here.

He could remember feeling so trapped in this facility, yelling and pranking his way around it. Anything so the caretakers would _look at him._ Notice that he was suffering, somehow maybe help him. Except they never did.

Another thing he remembered, another drop in the pond was Orochimaru. He had grown up here, too. Granted he joined later in life than Jiraiya had, who had sparse memories of his mother, and next to nothing of his father. Orochimaru had had those things, and liked to throw it in his face. Now, the thought makes him want to laugh out loud. That _Orochimaru_ had even been a child with the need to show off, it was sardonic amusement to him.

Except with Orochimaru, he didn't know where everything had gone wrong, didn't know where the signs had been. If there even had been any.

When did his friend and teammate become someone to be despised and not the heroes they had become together?

Suiren's hand slipped into his when her shoes scuffed on the flooring and she nearly tripped. He steadied her and then they were nearing the door with the baby Naruto in it.

Which reminded him of his grief all over again. It was a damned cycle by now.

 _So close_ , he had been so _close_. And yet, he hadn't been there for his student, whom he'd regarded as if he were a son, who he had cheered on since he was just fresh from the Academy, and now? Now that student he loved so much was dead, and so was his wife, a woman with so much _vibrancy_.

And all that remained of the two were their offspring. The only proof of Minato having existed and knowing his body was with Shinigami. That and a damned face on the monument. What did that even matter? He'd gladly wreck the mountain if it meant Minato could come back.

And he couldn't even go after the one that did this, because _no one_ knew who did. There was speculations it was an Uchiha, and his gut told him that it was, but he couldn't be sure until he was able to look at further evidence. If there was any left. Most everything had gone up in flames.

Mostly, he wondered if he could have _done something_. But time didn't work the way he wanted it to then, it only went forwards from then on, and he could only reflect in his head. He was not a god. Didn't have the powers of one though he was sometimes likened as if he did. A stupid comparison.

Suiren gazed at him with concern, but said nothing. The girl was very quiet, and her voice was always very, very soft. It was sweet of her to care, even then when they were utter strangers. He didn't like that she was cute with her face scrunched up. An overstressed part of him wondered if that meant he was going to have kill little boys later in her life for looking at her funny.

And then his mood kept plummeting from there.

They knocked on the door of Naruto's personal nursery, only for it to open with the sound of a cry following its wake. He realized a second after that they hadn't heard his crying from outside of the door, that they had placed a privacy seal and for good reason. The baby kept crying, and crying, and the woman who opened the door looked exceedingly angry.

Jiraiya felt a bit helpless, hearing the wailing, and was surprised that Suiren hadn't balked yet. The girl, all of five years old and she looked like a calm, efficient medic-nin. Her eyes trailed to the area of the room where the sounds were strongest and strutted towards the crib. She wasn't tall enough to look over it, or even to do anything, so she waved Jiraiya over.

"Otou-san," it sounded foreign in her mouth, "can you hand him to me?"

Feeling nervous, although it didn't show, he walked towards the crib and for a second looked down at the small child still crying.

His sobs were painful to hear so close, in a number of ways, and he wondered what kind of headache the child had to keep him going like this. Or maybe he was trying to tell someone something, probably that inside of him was a damn demon that _should not be there._ Except they couldn't, and it made sense now why he was letting them know he was upset.

The child, Minato's child, looked like the spitting image of him, with his blonde tufted hair, and the skin tone to match. He could see Kushina's nose on the boy, and the makings of her mouth, and throughout his pinpointing he gently picked him up in his arms, noting the whiskers on his cheeks, and wondered what Suiren looked like as a baby. If she was as much of a whiner. Not sure if handing a five year old a newly born baby was okay, he did so anyways. It was because she looked so sure of herself, and not at all like someone freaking out about a crying neonatal. Meaning, like him.

Suiren took the child as if she was meant to be holding him, and peculiarly, when she stroked Naruto's face, his sobbing died down.

It was the oddest thing to see a child calm a baby like the adults should have been able to do. He wanted to palm his face.

"Your name is Naruto," she said softly to his baby ears, knowing he couldn't understand her. "You're also my baby brother."

* * *

She frowned while changing Naruto's diaper, and feeling none of the grossness she had at doing it before. It'd been about three months since they had received the child, and he wasn't the easiest of babies to care for. He cried, _a lot_. He also never stopped until Suiren did something funny, or took care of whatever need she guessed him having. Sometimes she was exasperated, wondering why a five year old was allowed to take as much care of a baby as she was.

It wasn't that Jiraiya didn't try, it was just that he was busy with the village and was both helping to rebuild most of its infrastructure and assisting on the council at the same time, helping the Sandaime and others.

There was the nursemaid as well who came over like clockwork, but surprisingly they took her unusual maturity to be a blessing and mostly stuck Naruto in her care. Just 'watching' them.

" _Just making sure you're all right._ " A lie.

She felt more like a mother than a sister most of the time because of this, but it was alright. She'd caught how the few people who watched him stared. As if he was a beast that had eaten all of their family members. Which, maybe the thing inside of him had _crushed_ their family members, but they certainly hadn't been eaten. She doubted Kurama even needed sustenance, he _was_ a well of chakra after all. But maybe he liked snacks?

Suiren didn't know why she was contemplating this. Perhaps her toddler mind was a bit stressed.

"Naruto, you're all done!" She chirped happily after tying the diaper correctly. She hadn't known how before until one of the women who usually watched the both of the children—if you could _call_ it that—taught her how. Probably to make her job easier, so she didn't have to do it herself.

Mostly, she wondered how on earth Naruto had survived past infancy with these women around him. _She_ didn't feel quite protected, and she wasn't even him!

Leaning down to Naruto's ear, she whispered the same words she'd spoken to him in Japanese, in English. Because she was set on the two of them sharing something no one else could. She had even been preparing for teaching him the words and the alphabet by writing down notes of it when he was sleeping.

Naruto giggled as she blew a raspberry on his baby chest and then she tickled his sides, lightly, and watched as he went crazy. The two of them were laughing when Jiraiya got home, and as usual since the days they'd been living together, there was a bit of an awkwardness to their movements.

She suspected that just as she was out of her depth, so was he. She was proud that this time around, in this alternate universe, there was at least one version of Naruto where Jiraiya had accepted the boy from the start. Of course she couldn't just say this, so she simply smiled at him and greeted him as warmly as she could. Which still managed to be a bit awkward.

"What have the two of you been doing today?"

"I was telling him stories Okaa-san told me," specifically when _she_ had been a baby, another thing she wouldn't mention. "Like Momotarou, and about Kaguyahime, and Urashima Tarou." She thought the last one particularly silly.

It was about a man who saved a turtle, only to find out she was the daughter of the king turtle and was a beautiful woman (like all turtles in stories are), and gave him a box as thank you, but also told him to never open the box. Urashima went home three days later, but found that three-hundred years had past, and everything was different. Not understanding, he opened the box and found that suddenly he was an old man. Later, the princess came back to him and explained that inside the box was his age.

It's a story that's supposed to teach children patience, to listen when someone gives you a warning, but she found that the princess not telling him beforehand what the box _was_ sounded, in short, stupid. The man had saved her life, and by doing so damned his own, and it had not been his own idiocy that did him in, it was the princesses. And yet he was to blame?

Sometimes she really didn't understand stories like that, and wondered if it was because she was basically a foreigner.

He smiled, and sat beside her on the floor where she kept Naruto's basket and other things. She never left him unattended, and always took him everywhere unless she had to go to the bathroom. Her ears perked up when Jiraiya said this, "Well have you heard of the Frog and the Well?"

Suiren nearly smirked, but instead shook her head with a dumb smile and waved for him to continue. Even though she had in fact heard of the story, and some of it's various retellings. The one in Naruto was the best.

 _And the frog drifted into the sea_ . . .

Her fingers clenched, and she held back the tremor of _knowing_.

Her father the frog, and death the ocean.

Still, she cuddled a now sleeping Naruto in her arms and listened.

"Well, there was once a frog trapped in a well. He didn't consider himself trapped, but others from above the well certainly said so. One day, a turtle came by and the frog told the turtle how amazing it was down in the well, 'Why don't you come down here?' he said, and added, 'It's paradise!' The turtle tried to, but he was too wide and gave up, and instead told him of the ocean. 'There's a place called the sea, a place where you don't have to experience drought or flooding.' The frog thought about this, but decided that where he was was paradise, 'This is paradise!' he said. And the two parted.

"The lesson to be learned in this story is that some people are ignorant, and choose to be as such." He smiled, "My version is that the frog eventually decided to leave the well in search of his turtle friend and found _nirvana_."

She laughed, in her head wondering if that turtle had also been a beautiful princess. "That's surprisingly optimistic."

He looked at her funny, "You know some big words, where did you learn them?"

Suiren didn't expect a blush to take over her face, or for her to suddenly stutter, but she said, "B-books. I-I like to read."

She watched as the man's face softened, and he told her, "I'll get you lots of books, then." She looked down at Naruto, fingering the fabric of his diaper, and murmured a quiet thank you.

* * *

 ** _Originally posted (6/13/17) Edited (6/17/17)_**

 **A/N:** Just some plot heavy fluff, y'know. The chapters may or may not get longer, depending.

Thank you very much to the two guests, **lizyeh2000** , **Blackjaqk23** , and **CasJeanne** for reviewing! Also, thank you very much to those who followed and favorited, it means a lot to me.


	3. Getting Ahead of Yourself

She stood nervously, her father's hand in her own and wondered why she had to have been born to a man who needed his progeny to become something impressive. She was just an extension of his legendary status and even though she was smart, she wasn't quite sure if she would be able to get the technical aspect of learning to be a ninja just right. But they had expectations of her, because of who her father is.

Still, Suiren's mother had been a whore before she had been a dressmaker. In fact, the dress making thing had been a new hobby when she'd paid off her mistress at the house she'd been raised at. (Was it any wonder why she hadn't wanted a child around to experience true freedom?) Besides that though, she had no idea how much genetics would play into anything. Although, this _is_ a world like Naruto where those sorts of things didn't really hold water.

Naruto could do the things he did because of his Uzumaki bloodline, or at least that's how it was painted to her. Minato she didn't know a damn thing about, and the Uchiha's were all beasts because of the clan they came from. Or maybe it all had to do with personal determination? If so, could she summon that much will into becoming useful? Did she want to? It sounded very . . . kid like.

For a moment she didn't know the answer, but she thought of Naruto and decided that maybe she did. If she could protect him and his friends, then maybe. Except they were all very dependable on their own . . . guh, was she even really needed?

"Otou-san," she said, and saying it still felt odd, and kept sounding weirder to her ears. She wanted to call him by his name, not as if he was her dad. Because it still felt weird, even though in total they'd spent five months together. "Will Naruto be okay?"

"Of course he will," Jiraiya said, looking around.

She frowned, still untrusting of others around Naruto, but she couldn't help having to go to the Academy now that it was back up and running. So that's where they stood now, and in her hand not occupied was a slip with her name on it, 比留川 睡蓮. Reading it, she wondered if Jiraiya had a surname. She decided she had nothing to lose by asking, so she looked up at him.

"Hey, Otou-san, do you have a last name? In the books, they never mention one." Books meaning the copies of recent history she'd been reviewing in order to determine what would be next and what had happened prior. She hadn't really—

"It's Hatake, but I don't really use it." He looked down at her and frowned. "Though I suppose we could change yours to match, if that's what you want."

 _Holy crapoly!_

She blinked and didn't stop until the two were at the mass of bodies of other children and adults. She quickly schooled her expression into more of a nervous one, an expected one. And she really was, nervous that is. She just didn't want everything else flitting around inside her to show.

Her hand slipped from his and she fumbled in her pocket to take out a rubik's cube. Or something similar to it. She'd never really played with one in her old existence, and Jiraiya had gotten it for her on the spur of a moment. She handed her paper to him and a bit numb, she tried her hand at the rubik's.

 _It makes sense, kind of, but only because of the white hair. Except for the toad part . . . but_ still! It had never even crossed her mind that perhaps Kakashi and Jiraiya would be related, or that _she_ would be related to him, too. It was most likely distant though, cousins, she decided.

Except, she had to wonder why if the two were related, they weren't . . . y'know, close? She tried recalling how the two interacted with each other in the series in her mind, but could only get sparse images of the two gushing over her father's perverted make out series. Which was gross and she didn't even know if he'd written those yet. Or would still be writing them.

On the cube, the colors weren't matching up.

It was starting to seem as if everything in this world was connected somehow, and she was excited by the idea of knowing more than the surface details from a story more focused on its protagonist.

This was an opportunity, she decided. And she _loved_ learning.

 _"_ S-sure," she said, remembering her voice with a blush. Hermmm, she really should learn to stop doing that.

As a shy child, she hid behind her father's legs, and ignored anyone who came up to talk to him. There were _a lot_ of people who wanted to chat, and their kids looked bored while they stood beside them. A few looked remotely impressed with the Sannin, but most either only knew he was a shinobi, or didn't even know whose presence they were in.

 _How long has he been out of the village?_ She wondered, thinking on a few of the children's reactions. None of them paid her any attention, probably because she purposely wouldn't pay them a moment either.

And all the while, her hands kept fiddling with the rows of the cube, trying to crack the code. She gave up after a moment.

* * *

The next day when classes started and it wasn't just the entrance ceremony, she walked into the classroom by herself.

Her father was busy so he had only been able to drop her off at the foot of the school before ninja-ing away, or whatever. She decided she didn't care much, and simply found a seat out of the way of the more exuberant children she could hear already making a scene.

She was very excited about today, and also for the rest of her years here.

Sure, she knew more than the rest of her peers about general education, like math, reading, and more civilian skills, but she didn't know much about being a ninja. So she'd watched a show and read a really long serialization about it. Big whoop. She knew surface things, small details and not an overarching picture.

She knew for a fact that in these lessons would be things she hadn't ever thought about, or tried, or even anything she'd ever experienced before. So of course she was excited!

"Kouta!" She jumped at the voice, and turned curiously to see a brown haired boy tangling it up with another boy with brown hair. Except one of them had the bearings of an Inuzuka in the form of red markings on their face. That reminded her, she too had those markings, albeit they were hardly noticeable and right at the creases of her eyelids. Mostly, it looked like she was wearing blood red eyeliner, but it was thin and very unnoticeable.

It was because of this, she wondered if the Hatake's were a family branched from the Inuzuka's and decided it made sense but she couldn't really be certain. The only Hatake's that she knew for sure had the weird lines were herself, and Jiraiya (she was still reeling from that fact alone, she could hardly believe this was real). All Kakashi had was a mole by his lip, and his father, Sakumo hadn't had anything either.

And then she realized she was forgetting that there were maternal sides to things, too, and wondered if Jiraiya's mother had been an Inuzuka and that's where they had got their facial markings. But, she had to ask, what _were_ they? And why were Jiraiya's and hers so different from the clan. Hers and her father's were in different designs while the Inuzuka's were in the shape of fangs.

Jiraiya's was like bloody tears, and hers was simply like a natural cat eye with no need for eyeliner. Besides that, his had _grown_. She frowned. Would hers?

She only knew of a few characters with facial markings like her father and they were few and far between. Was it a different bloodline? What was she missing? Or was she really missing anything? Also, did it _really_ matter?

Suiren had a hypothesis that Jiraiya had been an orphan, and probably didn't even know himself, like Naruto. Like accepting a name but not really using it (unlike Naruto). What clued her to this was that he was weird around her. It was like he didn't know how to act or how to speak to her, as if he had never seen it done himself. Naruto and Jiraiya were similar in that respect. She remembered Naruto interacting with his son, Boruto (guh, she would correct this oversight in naming, she swore it) and thought about how he had never known what to say or do. It was very similar, the situation.

Gah! And she needed to stop thinking about it or she'd have an aneurysm. She hadn't even been watching the scene in front of her, or even noticed how the teacher had come into the classroom. When she did, she blinked to clear the fog of confusing thoughts.

One of the students landing a hit on the other suddenly had himself stopping out of nowhere. They both did, actually.

She looked at the ground, and then back to their new teacher and realized that despite the fact the Nara didn't have a bushy pineapple hairstyle, he did have long, dark choppy curls that went down his back. As if he couldn't be bothered to have it tamed. She smiled, enjoying her first moments in the classroom immensely.

"Hello, children." The Nara said, and he sighed a bit, right before lifting the book in his hands to yawn. "Now, go to your seats, so we can begin." He stretched.

The boys who had been stuck found themselves now unstuck and the two of them gave each other odd looks before rushing to their seats.

She looked back to her teacher, admiration in her gaze as he sat down in his chair and kicked up his feet onto the wooden desk.

"Now, I want you all to name yourselves, and give me one thing that excites you about becoming a ninja." He pointed to the student at the very front, and added, "Go from row to row, please. And no funny business, or I'll have you expelled."

She was in the third row so she patiently waited, and both tried to pay attention to her classmates and not fall prey to boredom. It wasn't that she didn't care about them . . . except, that's what it exactly was. Why care for people that meant nothing to her? They wouldn't become anything she knew of. She frowned.

But it _did_ tie into her wanting to know more about the behind the scene's. Another opportunity, but one she felt unsure of.

When it came to her she was in her own little world before someone behind her poked her head.

Looking around in embarrassment, she blushed maddeningly, and stuttered out, "M-my name is Hitogawa Suiren, and I like—would like to b-become a ninja because my father is a great one, and I want to protect those around me." Was that said properly? Did her words make any sense? Did she answer the question right? She didn't know, she was freaking out on the inside.

Thankfully, life went on while she was frozen. And it went on and on, until a certain name caught her attention.

"My name is Inuzuka Hana! And my favorite thing about becoming a ninja is that I get to show everyone else up with my Haimaru pups!" Suiren blinked and looked back, wondering if everyone in the Inuzuka clan were just as spitfire, and also pondering how she became so adult like later on. Or maybe this was because she was a child. For some reason, Suiren forgot that, nothing of note had happened _yet_.

And then next was . . . "Uchiha Itachi, and I'm excited to be a ninja because I can protect the village and my clan that way."

She couldn't help but gape at him, and had to push her jaw closed with her hand before fiercely looking forward and not at the back row.

 _Of course those two are here! They're both the older siblings of one of the Rookie Nine! And technically, so am I? Yes! I mean_ —what!?

She struggled to connect such a small child with the massacre of his entire clan for the sake of the village and suddenly his words became haunting to her ears.

 _That's right, the Uchiha's are all going to die, and so is he._

And she knew exactly how.

* * *

She was so excited to be home she ended up kissing Naruto's face more times than she should've and had to wipe his face clean of _her_ drool. _What, are you a baby now, Sui?_

Suiren sighed, and held her little brother—who cares if he wasn't really—to her arms. She laughed when his little fingers clutched at her hair and winced when he pulled with a giggle of his very own.

"Naru-kun, are you attempting to make me bald? Do you want a bald nee-chan?" He pulled again, and she faux sobbed into her hands, "So cruel, Naru-kun," until she peeked to see his eyebrows scrunched up. Before he could start crying she opened her palms fully and made a 'boo' noise.

He burst into loud giggles and her heart warmed.

She was hungry so after feeding Naruto and changing his diaper—because the lady who had been "taking care" of him hadn't really done a great job—she set to work on making herself a little snack. She made a sandwich and then also picked out a peach for her to nom on.

While she did that she took out her notes from the day and quickly did her homework.

She wasn't surprised to see her schooling not be as laid back as her American one, or simply her otherworldly teachings. They had to cram a crap ton into the little minds of toddlers as quickly as they could and it wasn't even wartime. In fact, wartime had ended just a few years ago. Still that didn't discount that they taught generals, ninja stuff, and then everything they needed so that they had a better chance of _not_ dying.

Most everything she "learned" though was more of a reorientation for her and so everything was a little _too_ easy. She didn't like that, couldn't wait until she was in the following years where she was actually learning something that would both hold weight and be something she hadn't known already.

She took her pencil and started to scribble English words on the paper while Naruto watched some sort of baby cartoon on the small "TV", which yes they had those, but they weren't as awesome as the ones in her own world. They were more like a 90s rendition or something. Weird colors and a bit of static at times. She didn't know how it worked in her last life, and certainly not in this one either.

She suspected that by the time Boruto (again, the naming oversight would be corrected) would come around, that would be when the TV's got cool. She frowned, remembering that, yes, they had. And Boruto had been an ungrateful little shi—butt. But maybe she shouldn't backtalk the little one? She would be such an auntie though, and despite knowing he was already spoiled, she would probably end up loving on him too much. Him and Himawari (who had a real name, and better yet, a flower one at that!).

But that was getting ahead of herself!

She looked at Naruto and couldn't wait until he was old enough to talk. This not talking business was so damn annoying to her.

* * *

 ** _Originally posted (6/14/17) Edited (6/17/17)_**

 **A/N:** hermaherm. pls don't kill this humble monster about the Hatake thingy, okie? To me, it's a little headcannon I have, so deal with it? Or not, that works, too.

Thanks for reading and shizz, please review! And thanks to those that did and also to the newer faves and follows!

* * *

 _After Editing A/N:_ I have to really thank a reviewer Iaso who really helped me! She gave me the idea of adding a puzzle while Suiren was 'puzzling' things over about the Hatake thing, and she's really nice! Thank you, thank you~! And go check her out ouo)9


	4. Honesty: A Good Policy

If Suiren were honest—which for the most part, she was—she knew she wasn't entirely prepared for the Academy, or any other shinobi activities.

She knew she had nothing on any of the other kids unless they were like her in that they had literally no prior teachings in the Shinobi Arts. She did have something none of the others did, but it wasn't very helpful to know the basics of something and be able to use it in technicality. She had nothing in taijutsu, nothing in ninjutsu or any other 'jutsu', but most of all, she only had her smarts. She wasn't even the smartest kid there, and didn't that say something. (Let's be real, nobody was as smart as Uchiha Itachi, the boy was a genius.)

She wasn't going to let that stop her though, not because of determination or anything juvenile at that.

It was all in the name of spite, of course.

Suiren was the equivalent of a mature mind in a child's body. Mostly, her brain itself was still developing, so she wasn't even entirely adult-like despite having been the botched reincarnation of a girl from another dimension entirely. She didn't want to be a prodigy, nor did she want to be anyone incredibly outstanding, she just wanted to feel as if she belonged somewhere.

Her mother, Kokuji, might have a little to do with that.

It wasn't the best environment to grow up around, during the tail end of a Shinobi World War while still being in her old "house". Suiren had seen many, many things in her time as a child with no ability to really cope. She had seen rape in its most unadulterated form, murder when there had been an incident with a paranoid ninja, and so many more things she would never speak of— _couldn't_. It was a lot to take in, coming from a world far more at peace than this one, but Suiren felt better for knowing not to be naive. She had been plenty of that in her last life.

So it had been a different kind of awakening. The bittersweet kind.

Perhaps it was because she knew what she could subsequently become if she didn't turn out to be a decent ninja. Maybe that was why she was so paralyzed in fear of being tossed aside.

It might have been a crazy, irrational fear of hers, but four years of living in an illegal prostitution ring was not the best for a young mind—no matter the fact that a bit of her was the adult of her past life. The fact remained that she was _not_ that girl of the past. The girl in the past was too innocent for this world, too untouched and clean. Now?

She could almost see herself growing up to eventually sell her own body if it meant living, but living for the sake of what? To just be another fuck? She could almost feel the tightening of a theoretical noose. No matter how much she tried to keep telling herself that things were different now as a Sannin's daughter, she hadn't known for the entirety of her life and she had grown up in _absolute fear._

This? This thing with Jiraiya was a new thing she hadn't even had the time to fully come to terms with.

For the most part she had been running as smoothly as a machine could—the kind of machine that hadn't had their joints greased in all their lifetime. It was difficult getting rid of any of her lingering fears. She had to put faith into someone she didn't even know, a man she only knew as a perverted guy with a penchant for getting students and teammates that either ended up killing him, killing everyone around them, or becoming psychopathic maniacs. Oh, and prophecy children, whatever that's supposed to mean.

Said man walked over to see what she was working on—homework that she had just finished while she had been temporarily having a mini-breakdown. He smiled at her for a moment before frowning.

"You always look like your thinking. You should be careful to not get stuck in your head." He poked her forehead for effect, and subsequently reminded her of Itachi by doing so. Which lead her to remembering the Uchiha Massacre and therefore a ton of other nonsensical things in the very moment that it took for him to sit beside her at the dining room table.

The dining room table had been a new addition, because before Naruto and her, Jiraiya had basically been living like a bachelor with no need for things that kept him at home. Most of his house had been very empty; her room which now had a bed and a few new storage spaces, and Naruto's room which was a nursery had also been barren. The only room she suspected of actually having anything in the first place was his own, and—"See, thinking, even now that I'm telling you not to."

"Sorry . . . " she mumbled, though she couldn't exactly help it. Everything in her head was too quick and kept shooting at her like a barrage of senbon, and most of the time she only ever heard silence was when she was reading. It wasn't because she was so smart she thought so quickly, it was because recently she was always in a state of panic.

Though if she was focused on something, she didn't feel as if the world was going to consume her, and she just wasn't used to using people as that kind of stress reliever as she had with books. Though, looking at the father she was only barely getting to know, she figured she should at least try.

"I worry about a lot of things . . . " she mumbled, slightly downcast. "Like about Naruto, becoming a good ninja, and . . . being your daughter. It's weird." she frowned, not knowing if she should continue, if she would offend him by telling him about how she worries she's more bound to him by blood than anything substantial. As if there was no substance to their interactions which had been sparse so far. What she really wanted, she didn't have much courage to ask for. It was . . . embarrassing wanting her father, she was five! But she also felt lonely when not with Naruto, or reading a book with interesting characters.

She had read anything she could find on him in the library he had taken her to, and she felt closer to an image of him she had in her head than she did with the man in front of her, sitting at the table. It hurt. And it was barely just the beginning.

"Suiren, you don't _have_ to worry." Jiraiya said in a quiet tone, he paused to think of a response before saying, "Naruto will be fine because you look after him so well, and you're so smart and mature I doubt you'll have any problems at the Academy, either. Not like I did. In fact, I don't know one kid your age that takes care of a baby with your kind of tact." He laughed, one that made the air in the room settle and also made her stomach flip with giddiness. That he was proud—or at least seemed to be—of her oddities pleased her to no end.

After a moment he went uncharacteristically quiet. A sad, lonely expression on his face.

When it seemed as if he wasn't going to talk again, he started over, "I didn't have parents growing up. The reason why, you see, is because the world is not kind. My parents—your grandparents, they weren't around to show me how to be a father, so I know I haven't been the best so far, but I'm new. Not an excuse, just saying." He chuckled, but it sounded self deprecating to her ears, and wasn't the same as the laughter of before.

She just stared at him, biting her lip and not knowing how to reply. Why was she so bad at words? Formulating them, speaking them out loud. She didn't have much of an ability to express her thoughts verbally, and wasn't sure if she did it well any other way, either.

He sucked in a breath, "If ever you don't wish to be a shinobi, you tell me and we'll find something else for you to do. It doesn't matter what it is, you could be a monkey wrangler and I swear I'll do my best by you, Suiren. I'd give you a whole bunch of Sarutobi's to mess with." he cringed a bit, blanching at what he just said.

She giggled, kicking her feet underneath the table and connecting it with his leg. A bit playfully, he grabbed her ankle and pulled her closer so her foot was on his knee. Then he cleared his throat, an odd, deer in the headlights expression on his face.

"There's no way you can say emotional things without sounding like a pansy, so I'll shorten this and just tell you straight up." He looked at her hands, still clutching her pencil. "I want to know more about you; I don't want the only things I know to be simply that you like books, I want to know why you like them. I want to know what kind of foods you like so that I can learn to cook them, and I want to do cute things with you, because I didn't know that I was really missing out on something special until I met you. It's kind of selfish, but I'm glad I took you from your mother."

 _That she gave you to me_ , went unsaid.

Suiren, who had been feeling for the most part beyond surprised throughout his appeal, was finally was able to relax in this weird home in the midst of becoming a _home_. She smiled, warmed by her father's courageous confession.

It was probably because of this, that she was able to even feel a settling in her gut. As if everything _would_ be fine.

"It may be ironic, but you're more attentive than okaa-san ever was." she said, dropping her pencil on the paper to say cheekily, "Thank you for taking me, tou-chan." She was rewarded with a blush.

So it seemed that was where her colored cheeks came from. She laughed.

Suiren was glad, despite her father's baring of his soul to her. In fact she was glad for it, it turned him into something resembling an actual person and not a god among shinobi . . . and it made her feel more connected to him, more than what being bound by blood meant.

As if it what they were to each other was becoming tangible.

* * *

Jiraiya found himself in a meeting with the Council the next day, and felt sick of their presence the moment he was there.

Let it be known that he was not very fond of stuffy settings, probably because he was very much an outside person. He preferred being in the field, and knowing he couldn't just leave the village now to go look for Orochimaru or work with his network of spies was grating on him. He wanted to do so much, but here he was, sitting in a chair. Doing jack shit.

Don't get him wrong, a part of him welcomed the reprieve. Another part was grateful for the reason behind it. That same part was also still wracked by grief, because he was reminded every time he checked on the small boy that only a small part of Minato had survived, his child. And wasn't that a whole load of crap in and of itself.

Then he was reminded that he wasn't even doing much at all, his _five year old daughter_ was doing practically all the raising. _That_ was the kicker. (Where she got her level of maturity, he had no idea. Kokuji wasn't known for being clear-headed; she was rather a bomb with a short fuse.)

It just hurt to look at the kid in the face when the wound was so fresh is all, but it didn't make up for the fact that he was kind of (not kind of, he _was,_ and he had no excuse to do so) shirking all of his new god-fatherly duties on his daughter who seemed to only have the ability to think, and think, and never spoke unless she was spoken to. As if she was trained with the epitome of graciousness, but the fact that she was often silent said it all, really. That was something he'd consider later.

Now was the time to listen to drivel about politics and for him to be reminded that just as he wasn't the best of fathers, he also wasn't the best of politicians.

"Onto the topic of the kyuubi's jinchuuriki. We'll have to conceal his identity. He shouldn't be known as the yondaime's son," said Koharu, and Jiraiya felt a flare of annoyance at the terminology used. Couldn't they just call the boy by his name? "His father has too many enemies, and if it gets around the yondaime sealed the beast inside of him, we'll have villages everywhere trying to get their hands on the kyuubi. If we can hide his identity with another name, we should go with that option."

"He could use his mother's maiden name, or even Jiraiya's surname. Isn't your daughter going to take that as well?" Danzo asked, and Jiraiya frowned, wondering where he had heard that from. Hating that there were so many damn ears in this village, Jiraiya shifted in his seat.

"Uzumaki will do just fine," Jiraiya said, although more gruffer than usual. His reasoning was that he wanted Naruto to have at least _something_ of his parent, and just because he was going to be caring for the child from his infancy, it did not mean he was the boy's father. Just his surrogate one. "And yes, she will be, though that is no importance to you."

The bandaged man chuckled, a good natured expression on his face. Jiraiya wasn't sure how he felt about the Shimura, he wasn't terribly bad, and his advice wasn't the worst. He was a smart man, but something rubbed Jiraiya the wrong way, and he wasn't sure what.

"We'll need a gag order so no one in this village can let it slip. No one is to tell the boy anything until he's older, it'll be safer for him." Hiruzen said, and it made him feel uneasy. Jiraiya didn't like the idea of not being able to share with the kid stories of his father while he was growing up, showing him where he came from. It bugged him, yes, but it made sense. But things like this you couldn't really hide for long, and he could just see it biting him in the ass.

There was a round of yay's.

"So that's the decided name, another thing is his inheritance," Hiruzen put out, and then for the next hour they sat getting the accounts in order.

This wasn't something usually befitting of the Council eyes, but as Minato had been a hokage, his accounts were meshed with some of the other village resources. It was easy enough to guide it into the correct piles, distributing it both to help the boy and the village.

Perhaps he'd be able to tell Naruto sooner or later, the truth.

* * *

When he got home, it was just in time to see Suiren dash up the street, a determined look in her eyes, her long hair bouncing with each step. He wasn't sure if he liked that she was going to grow up and most likely have the same elegant beauty of her mother. It didn't sit well with him. Not that he wanted her to be ugly, he just had the damndest of impulse's to throw a bag over her head or make her wear a mask like Kakashi. So no one could stare at her face. So no _boy_ could stare at her face.

The thought of boys and her made both his stomach flip with unease and his eyes see red. It was . . . disconcerting the effect she was having on him this quickly into their relationship.

When she caught sight of him she proceeded to halt, bow as politely as she could—which was the epitome of grace—and then smiled slightly. She was such an odd child, he surmised. He liked it, of course, she was his daughter, but things were still a bit tenuous with the two of them.

"How was school?" He asked, and she tilted her head to sigh.

"I'm doing well with anything paper and book, but . . . " her cheeks colored and she looked down at her feet, her brows pulling together. "I'm sorry, I'm having i-issues in t-taijutsu . . . "

It worried Jiraiya, but not in the way one would think. He wasn't disappointed in her taijutsu, just in the way she informed him of it. Besides that, disappointed wasn't even the right word.

Perhaps growing up in a civilian setting hadn't been the best for her, or maybe it had been the setting. Her mother Kokuji, he had to admit, he didn't know know much about. He had only known her a few days at most and when they met it was just for some fun. He didn't know what kind of home his daughter had thus far been raised in. But it the way his daughter interacted with him was telling as it was.

She was incredibly quiet, her face was often either in a pleasant smile, or expressionless. But it wasn't in the way that seemed genuine, and as if this was truly how she was, it was more as if she was a blank sheet of paper just showing things she thought you wanted to see. To him, it looked like a defense mechanism. This worried him; he wanted her to feel safe enough with him to always be herself. Wanted her to know that he'd sooner break every bone in his body than lay a hand on her. At on that same note, if _anyone_ dared to do the same, he'd rip them asunder.

Sadly, he had missed some of the most crucial moments of her development and who knows what had happened in the space of time it took for her to become the way she was? She acted more like a maiko than a future kunoichi of Konoha, and that needed to change. He wanted her to become strong, so she could protect herself when he couldn't be there. It was always on his mind that he'd have to leave for extended periods of time, and he needed to know that she could take care of herself—although definitely not at this age, just in the distant future.

(Like way distant future. Now that things were finally calming down in the village, he wanted to spend as much time with her—and by extension, Naruto—as much as possible, and no one would have a damn thing to say about it. The amount of credit he had in this damn place was enough to let him retire, as Tsunade did.)

Little by little, he was starting to understand the way a parent thought of their children and he couldn't imagine ever being disappointed in her.

Just constantly worried, and feeling as if the world was one step from imploding on itself. Was that a bit much? It was him being honest.

With that thought in mind, he tentatively patted her on the shoulder and let her inside of the house. Gracefully—his kid did everything like that—she stepped out of her shoes and watched him as he followed suit. He gave her a smirk, and she just looked confused, and also worried. Then he remembered he hadn't responded to her. He'd been so caught up in his thoughts—perhaps she'd inherited that from _him_. And what a _thought_ that was!

"Don't worry about it, kid. I'm not expecting you to become the next child genius of your generation." He didn't need to tell her that was already pretty much covered, he'd seen Uchiha Itachi, after all. (But then he thought of his own little angel and realized the two children were very similar, which was very disconcerting.) He shoved those backwards thoughts aside, and added, "I'm free for the rest of the week, so how about I teach you my personal form?"

Her eyes widened in barely contained glee, and for the first time he heard her giggle at something _he_ said. Usually it was just at Naruto's antics. It made him all too damn happy to hear it.

"Thank you, tou-chan!"

He liked her calling him as such, better than the stuffy formal, and definitely better than if she said chichiue. (That he would not have stood for. Too damn stuffy.)

* * *

Training with her father was fun, and the two had found something they could do with one another—both being serious and at the same time having rounds of bellowing laughter. Suiren loved it!

The Academy was so boring in comparison, where there was no such thing as her father both joking with her about how the two of them looked doing handstands, or walking backwards while upside down (though there was no point for them to do either of those things). There were children in the Academy she wasn't sure how to interact with, and then there was her father she had known for months and was finally having the time to get to know.

She was so happy, and at the same time so fearful it was all just a dream. That she was going to wake up back in the okiya and have to simply survive in that cold atmosphere.

Here she had Naruto and Jiraiya. And they were so warm.

Suiren was sitting in her seat thinking of these things when someone bumped into her from behind. She let out an oomph, and her chest collided with her desk a bit painfully, so she looked back at who did it with a frown. She wasn't surprised to see the other Inuzuka, a cousin of Hana's right behind her, not even knowing she was so close to him and he'd just bumped her.

She sighed. She didn't want to deal with others.

But she also didn't want to hide from the world around her, and one of the best ways to gather information about said environment was to talk chit chat.

So, Suiren stood, and abruptly cleared her throat loud enough to get the boys attention, and in the same moment, the one who he'd been more purposely shoving around.

They both looked at her, the Inuzuka and the brown haired boy from the first day of school, and looked a little sheepish.

"Can you please look out before you play around, you bumped me." Suiren said politely, but not in a delicate way.

Surprisingly, the Inuzuka looked chastised and blushed as he swung around to gaze at her in her entirety.

"Ah, uh, sorry about that, Hitogawa-chan." He scratched the back of his head, and his friend(frenemy?) also did the same from behind him, but shoved a chair out of the way so he could stand next to the Inuzuka. She was honestly ashamed she didn't know their names. (But they knew hers, or at least her last name.)

She smiled, "It's Hatake now, I've taken my father's surname." She paused, "You can call me Suiren, if you'd like." It didn't feel as intimate for her as others for her first name to be called by strangers, most likely because of her past life. People in her old world—or at least the American part—called each other familiarly pretty quickly. Sometimes she wished it was like that here. The world was too formal.

"Oh, then you can call me Shiba!" The Inuzuka said, and his friend chorused behind him, "And you can call me Kouta!"

She was so glad her plan was successful in learning their names. She gave them both a bright smile, "Nice to meet you, Kouta-kun, Shiba-kun, let's work hard together."

The two, with red embarrassed faces nodded eagerly and when class started, sat on opposite sides of her at once.

She was so surprised she didn't even greet the teacher properly. She frowned, looking at their usual seats being left empty, and then looked at the two of them who were still blinking as if they themselves didn't know why they were being so weird.

Suiren shrugged and opened her notebook, ready to take notes she wouldn't really need. Suiren was a natural in studies and usually only had to learn something once to remember it back, and usually only had to review once before a test to ace it. She was aware how lucky she was in this respect.

Kouta blinked down at her filled pages, and having gotten out his own frowned. "Yours is so neat, Suiren-chan."

Shiba snorted, "That's because you write like a chicken."

"Hey! I so do not! Suiren-chan, do you think I write like a chicken?"

She looked down and tried not to laugh, but she was sure it showed on her face when Shiba burst into laughter.

"Yeah well, you write like a dog!" Kouta backfired.

"I'll have you know, some ninken can really write, and some can even write as well as a fuinjutsu master!"

Suiren giggled, "My father is a master in fuinjutsu and he doesn't write very clearly, at least not to me."

His editor did _a lot_ ; she knew that from having read both his rough draft of the gutsy ninja—that she'd found in a box while he'd been away and she was curious—and having read the finished product. Even Naruto had trouble reading his stuff, at least from what she could remember. Some of his symbols being mixed up, and his shorthand being a tad messy. She remembered it had been integral in his coding back to Konoha after his . . . death.

That thought was a bit sobering.

"Who's your dad again? You said he was a great ninja." Kouta asked, interested.

Then Shiba interjected, "And a Hatake?"

That was probably confusing for them to hear, knowing Kakashi probably wasn't even old enough to have children. She hadn't met the man yet, but she lived in excitement knowing any day could be just that day. Also, Sakumo was dead, so that left them wondering about any other great Hatake's, and usually they only thought of the White Fang and his son.

Not for the first time, she wondered why Jiraiya didn't really use the family name.

She cleared her throat, and said quietly when Midori-sensei (their general education instructor) began teaching, "Jiraiya."

The both of them blinked, and looked like dying guppies for a moment. She wondered if there was no oxygen in the air, but she was breathing just fine. Then she remembered how she too felt like a guppy upon seeing her father for the first time and nodded to them. Like, _yeah, I know, I feel you._

"Wicked!"

"Cool!"

"Kouta! Shiba! Anything you'd like to share with the class?" Midori-sensei suddenly said, and glared at the boys. Her eyes then rested on Suiren, and her expression turned confused. _Why was such a quiet girl in the middle of two of the most rowdiest boys?_ She could see it flitting across the woman's face.

"No ma'am! Sorry ma'am!" The two echoed to her, in sync and practiced, and then they shared a secret smile with Suiren. She felt her face warm, but wasn't sure why. Embarrassment at having been caught talking in class? In disappointing her teacher? She didn't know. But at least she felt a little bit as if she was getting to know people other than her two family members.

She liked that, at least. The expansion of her world. Horizon, whatever.

* * *

 ** _Unedited and posted (6/17/17)_**

 **A/N:** And ba-ba-bam! Angst and fluff? Hmmmmmm. _Next chapter, KAKAXOC_ (nah jk, he's like 10 years older or smth and Ji-ji the Raiya would not stand for that hizzazz). Really tho, next chapter is gonna include Itachi and Hana, look forward to it! (Cause let's be honest here and admit all anyone ever comes for in most great fics is Itachi(in my most humblest of opunions), and since I want this fic to be great . . . ergo, Itachi!)

Also the scenes with Ji-ji the Raiya and Sui-bui were kind of difficult to write, lemme know what you think tho ouo)p it'd be totally helpful! Thank you for those that reviewed, and thanks to those who followed and favorited, as always! Stay safe, kiddos!


	5. An Innocent Exchange

Suiren and Naruto giggled together, and the one year old pretty much barked at her.

"Yes, we're getting a puppy, Naru-kun!"

"Bui!" Naruto shouted with glee, and then said, "ibu!" Which was supposed to be inu, or dog. But she gave him the credit of trying it out.

"Yes, yes!"

"Yes, yes!" he echoed, and she grinned brighter. Looking up at her father, she held Naruto up to him and the Sannin grabbed hold of the boy easily. She kept making faces at Naruto while they started walking so their fun wasn't cut too short

It was easier for him to carry the boy while the two of them walked the civilian way to the Inuzuka compound. It wasn't so far from where they lived, so wasn't so difficult for her to walk, and she was excited to see the puppies Shiba's family had been breeding.

When Suiren had asked her father about getting one, he'd thought about it, told her toad's were better, but then sighed and said, "If we get a dog at all, I guess a ninken wouldn't be so bad. It would be a good guard dog, I suppose." Which therefore meant the two of them were then taking Naruto with so they could visit the family compound of the people renowned for using dogs as partners.

Suiren wouldn't be using their ninken like an Inuzuka, she simply wasn't born to it like they were. Even Kakashi used his ninken differently than an Inuzuka. So it made sense to her, as a somewhat Hatake (she considered herself honorary at best) that of course she would have a dog and keep it for her own reasons. Not for tracking and retrieval like what Kakashi's ninken seemed suited for, but she would be training the dog and taking responsibility of his welfare all by herself. It was for the sake of having companionship.

Because of this, he'd be more of what Jiraiya had said, a personal guard dog for both her and Naruto while he was away or busy. The puppy would be a puppy for a while—Inuzuka dogs tended to live incredibly long lives and grew slowly—but it would be formidable and the fiercest of canine companions. Shiba had promised, when he'd told her about it, and she trusted in her friend's judgement.

Speaking of friends, in the weeks of their first interaction, they were quickly forming a tighter bond. It was nice having people she could joke around with and watch as her two friends did stupid things. Kouta and Shiba were generally well liked as well, the girls often whispering good things behind their backs. Still, she was too shy to really incorporate herself into the general workings of their classroom hierarchy.

She figured she was meant to be more of an outcast type, always alone if it weren't for her two newest friends.

When her family reached the Inuzuka's, she was surprised to see Hana and Shiba there already, and even more surprised to see Itachi right next to them. He looked a tad uncomfortable, but only in how his form that was ramrod straight, nothing showed on his face. It reminded her of herself, so she felt herself _relax_ rather than stiffen. Very odd.

"Shiba-kun! Hana-chan! Uchiha-san!" She called and then she saw that Itachi was carrying something. It only took an eyeblink to see who it was. Sasuke damn Uchiha. All cute and baby chubbed while he looked at her curiously, the only way a baby could. She found herself intrigued and cheerful at the thought of meeting the darling Duck-Butt of the Naruto series. Especially while he was a baby and couldn't really be _that_ intimidating.

It was because of that, she didn't stutter in her footsteps, and continued despite the hitch in her thought processing.

"Heyyo!" Shiba hollered, and Hana jerked her elbow into him.

"Hey! What was that for!"

"Look behind her!" She hissed, and Itachi was already bowing his head in respect before Jiraiya. It was but a flicker, but for a moment Jiraiya was staring into each boys eyes with some sort of message she couldn't translate. It was wordless, and each boy gulped. Then his face morphed into a self-satisfied one, right before smirking at the children, a knowing expression written on his face.

"Uh, welcome," Shiba looked as if he was confused, probably on how to address the man three decades his senior, nearly four. "Sannin-sama." _Called it._

"Hello, children, you can address me by Jiraiya, it's okay."

The three children nodded, and Hana grinned at the boy Jiraiya was holding.

"Who's that?" she asked.

"Oh, my baby brother, Uzumaki Naruto."

The children blinked, but didn't note on the fact his last name was obviously different and looked _not at all_ like herself and Jiraiya, whom both shared very distinctive features. Though Naruto _did_ have blue eyes, she doubted five year olds understood genetics, least of all five year olds in a Japanese setting. Genetics, she knew, wasn't taught in Japan which explained why the Narutoverse was so weird about it. And she knew for more of a fact, that genetics was not at all taught in the Academy, either.

Though really, did that make Kishimoto her god? The thought was weird, and she didn't feel comfortable with it.

Less thinking, more obtaining of a puppy!

Itachi and Suiren's eyes caught and the two greeted each other wordlessly, and Jiraiya got this odd look on his face, as if he was constipated. She wanted to laugh, but was too curious about the Uchiha boy in front of her to find humor in it.

"Hello, Itachi-san, are you here to get a puppy, too?" she asked, and he looked at Sasuke. A pointed gesture.

"No, I'm showing my brother what the ninken pups look like." He paused, then added, "This is my baby brother, Sasuke."

Suiren grinned at the little toddler, surprised with how much bigger he was than Naruto, though really, he had a few months on her brother.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun, my name is Suiren, but Naru-kun calls me Bui, so you can call me that, too."

"Bui." Sasuke echoed, and smiled at her. She lifted a hand to him, and he took it gently to shake her finger. She laughed, pleased with this turn of events. Like she thought, not intimidating at all.

"Oh! My baby brother is around, too! Let's get the puppie—I mean babies together with the other puppies!" Hana beamed, and Suiren quickly agreed.

"That sounds adorable, " Suiren said softly, warmed just at the thought. Their group was then lead by Shiba to what was an old style, traditional house. They all slipped from their shoes and set them at the entry.

"Let me get you my spare slippers, ok, Suicchi?" Hana said, and Suiren blinked.

"Suicchi?" She was also surprised that Hana felt close enough to assign her a nickname, the two weren't in the same crowd. Suiren talked mostly with Shiba and Kouta while in school.

Hana smiled, "Short, and cute, don't you think?" Then the girl and Shiba were dashing to get house slippers for the rest of their assembly. She was left with a slight tint to her cheeks, and her turning into Jiraiya's legs, who was chuckling slightly.

"It is cute," Jiraiya agreed. "Suicchi."

"Buicchi!" Naruto shouted, and for some reason Sasuke echoed. _Oh god._

She said nothing, her face too red.

Once they each had house slippers on and that done and dandy, they all headed into a room outside of the main entrance and to a padded play area with blankets and toys. It was surprisingly huge, an area where six little pups were all dashing around and playing on sure footed legs.

Instantly, she felt her eyes narrow in on a specific puppy, an all black furry dog that was rough housing with a spotted one and play growling. The two wrestled for a bit and, entranced, Suiren just watched.

"Bui!" Naru-kun shouted, then barked.

"Yes, Naru-kun, _arf, arf!_ These are the puppies." Suiren responded, and glanced at her father, who wordlessly handed her the boy.

"I'm going to go talk to Shiba-kun's parents, I'll be back, keep an eye on things, alright, Suiren?" Jiraiya said, his eyes thoughtful. Before he left, he gave Shiba and Itachi each a look, again something she really didn't understand but wasn't curious enough to try to. She figured it was some sort of _boy_ thing, and at her age it was just unappealing.

Shiba gulped again, and nervously started chatting to Hana who mumbled back to him, confused.

"Alright, tou-chan!" Suiren agreed, and then her eyes were back on the black puppy, now racing with his friend. Itachi and her somehow converged with their siblings, while Hana hollered that she'd get her own baby brother, they both by wordless agreement let their barely toddler kin go to waddle around.

Naruto wasn't walking yet, simply crawling, but it was so cute to see Sasuke making his own efforts in waddling with his tiny baby legs. She couldn't help but squeal when Sasuke used Naruto's back as a support for him to keep standing. It was so cute! And Naruto just let him!

She was near death the moment Kiba came out, and was bolting his way to the two other boys his age. He nearly tripped, and would have if not for Hana's quick reflexes. The girl was fast, and seemed practiced.

"So cute~!" Suiren actually exclaimed, and slapped her hand to her mouth, surprised she'd said anything at all. Hana laughed coming up beside her. Hana, Itachi and Suiren all watched their younger siblings while Shiba went back to go get treats for them all to share.

"How weird is it that us three are roughly the same age, and have baby brothers pretty much the same age, too?" Hana said, with a smirk. "I was born, April 13th, what about you, Itachi-kun?"

"June 9th." Itachi said. They both looked at Suiren who stared at them blankly, a little shocked.

"June 10th for me." Itachi also blinked in surprise and as they looked at each other, a small smile formed on his face. "I was born just as midnight hit." Suiren added.

If possible, the Uchiha's smile grew wider, "I was born right before midnight."

Feeling a bit left out, Hana said with a pout, "Aw man, I'm the oldest, and now I wish _I_ was born in June right in the middle of you two."

Suiren giggled, "But see, I'm the youngest, Naruto's the youngest, and what about your siblings?"

"Kiba was born July 7th." The Inuzuka girl looked so proud to have remembered, too.

"July 23rd." Itachi answered.

"See, it's a pattern. Kiba is oldest, Sasuke is the middle child, and Naruto is the youngest." If they realized she hadn't included a date with Naruto's estimation, they didn't show it. She was glad for it. Hana she wasn't really worried about putting two and two together, it was Itachi she thought would have a problem with it. If the Uchiha wouldn't want Naruto near his baby brother, she would feel very put out. And upset.

Hana laughed, "Just like us!"

"It is a little weird," surmised Itachi, who was still smiling, so it wasn't _so_ weird.

"Not weird, cool!" Hana beamed.

Shiba broke the trio's epiphany by reminding them none too gently they had come for puppies and should therefore pay more attention to them. Or well, Itachi and she had come for them, and Itachi only wanted Sasuke to look. He handed them each a bag of cookies and a glass of juice, and for the younger kids they each got a sippy cup with juice in it.

"Shiba-kun, you're such a great host." Suiren said offhandedly, feeding Naruto bits of the cookies that he couldn't choke on. She looked up to see her friend giving her a big ole grin.

"Now all you need to do, Suiren, is tell that to my mom. She seems to think I suck at being nice!"

She giggled, "I'll pass it on then."

"That one!" Naruto shouted, interrupting, and pointing at a completely white puppy with a seemingly sleepy demeanor. Suiren blinked from the pup Naruto choose and the one she kept eyeballing. She had _really_ wanted the black one. But the albino looking puppy was Naruto's pick. "Bui?" his eyes were saucers now. She wondered how much he understood of the situation.

"Oh, alright, Naru-kun." She looked at Shiba who nodded, this was one of the puppies they could have.

Naruto promptly went to grab for the puppy's tail, but not before Itachi grabbed for Naruto first and heaved him up on his hip.

Suiren was a bit baffled, never having seen anyone else treat her brother like an actual kid but her and Jiraiya. Also, he was probably the 4th or 5th person to ever hold him like that, ever. Especially so naturally.

"Naruto-kun, be very gentle." Itachi said, and then sat down with the boy to show how Naruto should pet the pup. It was such a nice picture, she didn't know if she was in some sort of shoujo manga or what. She felt a tug at her dress, and looked down to see Sasuke and Kiba looking at her imploringly.

She beamed, picking up Sasuke and doing her signature spin around that she had recently started doing with Naruto. Expectantly, Sasuke started up in a whooping tinkling laughter, and after a while, she set him down to do the same to Kiba, who had been staring at the two with barely concealed envy.

All in all, it was a very cute, fur filled day.

* * *

"What should we name him, Naru-kun?"

"How about Gamagishi?" Jiraiya interjected, a sly grin on his face.

"No." His face fell. "He's a dog, not a toad."

"How about you name him then, Naruto picked after all."

Said boy simply babbled a little, content to simply rub his baby fingers all up in the puppy's heavy fur. She could imagine what the puppy would look like soon after growing up, having seen the parent dogs (two words, huge and intimidating), and it reminded her of a tibetan mastiff from her old world. Except with fur completely white, and dark, deep-set blue eyes. Not albino. More like her. Perhaps that's why Naruto picked him.

Still bred to kill.

"Nines." She said immediately, not knowing where it came from.

Jiraiya looked at the dog, too.

"Na-i-in-su?" He repeated, and she frowned, realizing it wasn't a Japanese name, or really a name at all. It probably sounded weird to him and he was probably trying to understand how to write it.

It was the name of an Android in a sad, made up video game she'd played once in a lifetime ago.

For some reason, she felt it suitable to give the name, when she saw the ninken curiously scanning his surroundings and making cute yipping noises.

"Nines." She repeated, but with a huge grin at the right feeling she was getting, and quickly, Naruto picked it up.

"Nines!"

* * *

When she came to school the next day, it was to be greeted by Kouta and Shiba having it out over something she didn't know what.

Because she didn't really care to get involved with their squabble, she went to greet Hana who was standing by a friend of hers, a clanless girl named Chouri, who was always smiling in a dumb way. A careless smile, but one Suiren liked seeing. She wasn't friends with the girl, not yet, but seeing as how she had such a fun time with Hana yesterday she figured that she could probably do her best to expand her circle.

"Hello, Hana-chan, Chouri-san."

"Hey!" Hana exclaimed, then said in a flourish, "Did you hear, Ren-chan? Itachi-kun is changing classes. He's being transferred, but I don't know anything else about it. What about you?"

Suiren frowned, but wasn't very surprised. He had been an Academy grad at age seven after all, and they were all a bunch of six year olds now.

"He's probably being bumped a few grades up. They do say he's a genius, after all." Chouri said, and Suiren nodded.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Hana-chan. He'll be fine." Suiren said, taking the other girls hands in her own and smiling at her gently. The other girls face went red and she sputtered a bit.

"I-I wasn't worried!"

Suiren chuckled, "Of course you are, Hana-chan is always looking at Itachi-kun. Isn't it because you two are friends?"

Hana sputtered again, this time in outrage, "I'm not always looking at that brat!" The Inuzuka swung around and Suiren was forced to drop her hands before Hana took Chouri's shoulder and dragged her back to their seats.

Suiren frowned. Had she been wrong? Was it something the girl felt embarrassed about? She looked at her hand, the one that had just been touching skin and shrugged. She wasn't the best with understanding social situations, at least not when she was involved in them. Maybe she should've kept her observations separate this time.

"I don't think Hana likes Itachi." Kouta said, coming up beside her.

"You just want her to like you instead, " Shiba said with a cocky grin.

"What!? I do not!"

"We're six." Suiren muttered, slightly bewildered; no one heard her. She knew this was some sort of emulation of what they thought was 'liking' one another, and it was adorable in a innocent way, but she really didn't want to get involved in anything like that. Wanted to keep as far away even from the emulated feelings of romantic love.

"Your cousin isn't even that cute!" Kouta continued, outraged.

"What did you say about my cousin!? I'll kill you!" Shiba said, and she thought, _damned if you do, damned if you don't._ Poor Kouta. Except she heavily disagreed with him. Hana was an adorable little girl, with big eyes and pretty brown hair that sometimes had highlights that made her seem shinier.

"Enough! Everyone knows Suiren is the cutest!"

She blinked.

Then both Kouta and Shiba also blinked a second before they looked over at the boy who said that and all at once their eyes took on a deadly undertone. She hadn't even known such small children could look like menaces and not like puppies growling at their own reflection.

She shouldn't have been even surprised; it _was_ her friends who could accomplish it.

"Whaー" she started, her face warming and her head clouding over. The boy who yelled it, his eyes dark and yet bright, his cheeks flaming and his hair standing on end. He looked like a spitting cat, and she couldn't even tell what his name was. She'd never even noticed the kid.

"You better not let Jiraiya-sama hear you say that, or you're gonna end up dead." Shiba said darkly, and Kouta nodded.

"We're Suiren's protectors, and Jiraiya-sama told us to discourage anyone who says or does anything like what you just said. So back off!"

At that, she wanted to palm her face and have some words with her father. But instead, she felt a weird emotion in her chest at the thought of them just hanging around her to "protect" her. When had the two talked to him? When did their friendship with her become fake and a simple duty?

"Well it's true!" the boy said, and her two friends glared outright. They stepped towards him, Shiba taking on his clan stance and Kouta the Academy one.

"Kazuki," someone else said from afar, "stop being stupid." It was another boy, this time with black hair and the eyes of a Hyuuga. He frowned at his friend, and strutted beside the one he called Kazuki, his hands in his pockets. He reminded her of Sasuke then, his face almost joyless. She noticed after a second of looking at him that he was from the branch family, his forehead covered.

"Raijin! They were trying to say Hana is cuter than Suiren, can you believe that?"

"I-I don't thinkー" she began quickly, waving her hands in the air to get their attention. The one called Raijin looked at her and shrugged.

"Doesn't look that impressive."

She had never wanted to a hit a child.

She wasn't going to now.

" _Dammit!_ " she said in English. "Stop it already!" She was completely exasperated by now. "We only have about five more minutes before Atsuki-sensei comes in, and I don't want to spend that time watching you guys argue over stupid things!"

Shiba and Kouta turned to her, and they both immediately looked bewildered before rushing to her side, nearly suffocating her with their closeness.

"Don't cry, Sui!" Kouta said, his eyes wide with worry.

She frowned, she wasn't crying. Untilーyup, there was the wetness. Why was she crying? She brought her fingers to her cheeks, the drops feeling foreign and odd on her face. Suiren never cried, the only time she had was when she was a baby and it was more for her survival than anything else. Ugh, she really didn't want to be known as a cry baby.

"If it's because of what that bastard Raijin said about you, that's a lie! Your class A's yamato nadeshiko! You hear me?" Shiba said, his arms coming around her.

She sniffled, her head confused, "No, that's not itー"

"Bastard! Apologize!" Kouta said turning to Raijin, who shrugged again. His seemingly friend punched him in the arm.

"Yeah, Rai, apologize to Suiren. You made her cry." Kazuki clearly didn't look happy with his Hyuuga friend.

"Why should I apologize when she herself doesn't believe I've slighted her? You guys claim to believe she's above all the rest, but you won't even really listen to her."

Was this kid really even six?

"We listen plenty!" both Shiba and Kouta shouted.

"You've cut her off a total of three times now, and you really think that? Get over yourself."

Eurgh! She'd had enough.

Before anyone could interject she said hotly, "I don't need any protection. It doesn't matter about who's 'cuter' until we're older and even then I want us all to stay innocent for as long as possible! And i-it pisses me off that you both are just being my friend because of what Tou-chan said! That's not how friendships work! And anyways, it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks of me! Just let them be! It's their opinion, and if Raijin-san doesn't like me, that's okay! It's just his words and opinion, so respect it, got it!?"

Out of breath, she stormed to the back of the class. From there she shouted, "And Hana-chan is definitely the cutest anyways!"

Right as Atsuki-sensei came in.

"Why is it so quiet?" the Nara said without tact.

She was fuming for the rest of the day, and if her hits during their spars were a bit harder, no one commented.

* * *

"Tou-chan." she said at dinner, it was just donburi, but it was still tasted yummy. Jiraiya was a great cook, but at the moment she was too pissed. "Did you make Shiba and Kouta guard me from boys?"

She might have laughed at the sentence she'd just said if she wasn't still so hurt that the boys would even think that she'd need help. She felt alone and worried, and didn't know what to do. And it was all so juvenile!

First of all, she'd somehow angered the one girl in the class whom she could casually interact with, and then somehow became upset at her two closest friends. It was making no sense to her how the day before could be such a good, wonderful one, and this one to become something so childish and stupid.

And she'd _cried!_

Jiraiya stopped eating to look at her. Naruto was sleeping from having a long few hours playing with Nines, the two of them all tuckered out so it was just the two of them.

"Whatever do you mean, Suiren?" He was the complete picture of innocence, but she could see the mischief in his eyes.

"Don't play dumb. They said you told them to protect me. All because some kid told them I was cute and they went after him!" That wasn't even the most of the situation, but that alone made her angry. Or not angry, just sad, and feeling slightly lost.

"Then they're doing their jobs well." He went back to eating, as if it didn't even matter.

"I'm not a job!" she clutched at her chopsticks, "And they were weird enough as is, you just had to add to it, didn't you." It was a statement, not a question.

"Suiren, I just wanted them to make sure you weren't bothered. Boys are gross things that are perverted and bad, and daddy just wanted your chosen set of gross perverted boys to protect you from the rest of them. Believe me, when you get older, you'll understand what I mean."

 _Says the Pervy-Sage,_ she thought vindictively.

They were six! What did he think would happen? At most, a very, very innocent kiss. Between friends. In all honesty her face was heating up at just _that_ thought.

She growled, and the man looked so surprised to hear it. "Don't interfere with my friendships again, tou-chan, or we'll have words. You won't like these words."

He chuckled, but she remained firm. "I don't want them to be around me just because you said so, I want friends that like me for me, and want to protect me _because_ I'm me. And I don't want to be protected anyways! _I'll_ be the strong one, just you wait, tou-chan!"

This time he laughed outright, but it wasn't a mocking one so she let it slide.

"Of course you will," he said when he'd settled down. "I believe in you, Suiren."

"Good." That's all there was to it.

* * *

 ** _Unedited and posted (6/19/17)_**

 **A/N:** Blergh. So many boys. Sui-bui, how do you have all the time for them?

Anyone got the reference I made in Nines? I sure hope so.

OH AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND FAVES AND FOLLOWS! MUCH OBLIGED.


	6. There Are Steps

"We're sorry!" Kouta and Shiba exclaimed together, the both of them on their knees and their faces to the floor. She blinked, her hands at her mouth to make sure no noise got out. She swallowed the confusion until she remembered her earlier anger at the two of them. Well in honesty it wasn't anger at _them_. It was what they stood for.

She frowned, looking at them until she decided that she would forgive them, though to her it wasn't such a big deal now. Suiren wasn't some princess that had been slighted, even if they were acting like she was. And besides, what had they really done wrong? Besides being roped into her father's funny business.

She sighed. They would just have to set everything straight at this moment. She would not have a repeat, after all.

"You guys d-didn't have to grovel, just a simple sorry would've sufficed." They both shot upwards, each taking one of her hands in their own.

She gulped, unprepared.

"Suiren! We understand why you were angry yesterday!" Kouta started.

"You don't have to worry about this being a fake friendship!" Shiba followed up.

"We decided to protect you _because_ we care about you. Not because of something your dad said, so don't worry!" Then Kouta finished.

"Uh . . . ok, thanks." Her face was red, she knew it. "D-did . . . have you guys been working on your teamwork? It really seems like it." Because holy crapoly were they in sync. To the point it was freaking her the hell out.

Her friends shrugged. Weird.

"My mom has been drilling the two of us recently, she wants us to form some sort of bond or something." Shiba said, looking at Kouta who nodded.

Suiren had a small idea of what was going on, and she figured it was a good thing. She knew Shiba really wanted his ninken, but he was too young and a little to irresponsible at this point. She wouldn't have given a plant to the young boy, so it was probably secretly something his parents had decided to help him in the long run.

It would also end up helping Kouta, who had no one really in his life. She didn't know much about that situation either, the only thing being that he was originally from Ame. He had come here as a refugee of sorts, agreeing to eventually become a ninja. She had no idea why he was willing to become a shinobi in this village, didn't know much about his thoughts really, and it bugged her that she had been seeing her two friends as 2D figures rather than the 3D forms they were.

Perhaps it really should've been _her_ groveling and apologizing, for not considering them more often. She wanted to be closer to them, like they were to each other, but at the same time she was afraid that they wouldn't want her that close.

What Suiren wanted was something she'd always lacked, in any of her lives: a best friend. Someone to trust implicitly, knowing them inside and out like they would her.

She wanted that.

Yet she was also terrified of achieving it.

* * *

"Tou-chan, what exactly _is_ fuinjutsu?" she asked, still sweating for their training session. Jiraiya chomped on his food, and looked up.

"It's the sealing arts." He said it so deadpan, as if that's all that needed to be said.

"Yeah, but what kind of cool things can it do?"

He frowned looking mildly disconcerted. "I've never heard you use the word 'cool'."

Suiren simply smiled, waiting for the answer.

"Well, it's something that really defies most things in logic. Not everyone can do it, and not everyone that can has the skill to master it."

She beamed at him, " _You're_ a master." She felt so proud of it, too.

Her father was a great man, at least she believed that. A part of her also kept thinking of the words he'd told himself, about wanting to die like a great man. Like one of the hokage's, going out with flare. About wanting to do something great and spectacular to wash away all of his failures.

Originally, he'd achieved that. But maybe she was a bit too selfish. She didn't want him to go out the way he did, or in some sort of explosion, or to be reaped by Shinigami to save the village. Quite frankly, she didn't give a damn about the village. At least not in it's entirety. She only cared about her loved ones, which at this point included him.

Perhaps her reason for rebirth, or more, the _why_ she still kept her memories of her before life was to inevitably save him. The story was already finished in her eyes. She knew the end sequence, could still see the drawn faces of _Naruto's_ loved ones. Except it wasn't a happy ending anymore. Her father was dead in that version, and she hadn't even existed.

She looked at Naruto, chewing on a rubber kunai with a look of concentration. She wondered what kind of things ran through his baby brain, because her thoughts had been a whole load of things. Mostly outrage at death, and then disbelief, and then helplessness.

Naruto had also been a reincarnated soul, but she doubted he had any conscious memories of them like she did. She thanked whoever didn't botch his own reincarnation like hers for that.

In the end Suiren hoped, for Naruto's sake, that he was content with the love she could give him. That he wouldn't feel the hatred of the village, or at least be as affected. Because this time around, she and Jiraiya were at his back. It wasn't him against the world anymore. That he would be happy in his childhood and always afterward would be her wish for this life.

Would he still have that drive though? To become a great shinobi for the love of the villagers. She wondered if he'd still have it.

Well, it _was_ Naruto.

In her eyes, he could do anything and be anything he wanted to be.

"What's this interest in fuinjutsu?" Jiraiya asked, and she looked up to see him studying her.

Suiren shrugged, and said a bit nervously, "It just sounds interesting is all. I w-would like to learn it." It was a struggle to get that out; she wasn't much for requesting things, and had no confidence in convincing others to agree with her whims. It was due to her lack of speaking, and even though she'd been doing much better recently, it was still a bit weird for her. Sometimes her words didn't even come out sounding Japanese. It would sound like gibberish.

Or horrifyingly enough like English, which would then sound like gibberish to everyone else.

Jiraiya did the unexpected thing and grinned, "You want to be like your dear old dad, huh?" He asked and she nodded, but tilted her chin downward, collapsing in on herself. A part of her expected to be hit for asking for something, but it never came and eventually she found herself relaxing. He was still studying her when she looked up, his expression stony before he broke out in a grin.

"It'll be a lot of fun, I have lots to teach you then. Hurry up and finish eating, we'll knock out the basics as soon as possible."

"Okay!" It was the first time in her life she'd sounded so cheerful.

* * *

There were steps to becoming a fuinjutsu master, or at least to be something close to it.

She doubted she'd make master, not because she wasn't smart enough to understand the concepts. It was mostly that when it came to understanding something and then actually doing it, they were two separate things to her. She could understand a concept like genjutsu, but when putting forth the effort to put someone under an illusion, she failed every time.

It was her worst grade, that damn skill, and because of that she hated it.

The real reason she'd suddenly wanted to learn fuinjutsu was because she worried that with a grade so lacking as her inability to dispel most genjutsu or even use them, she needed something better to show off with. Something to make up for her crap genjutsu skills.

It was surprising that a girl who lived in her own head could struggle with distinguishing reality from an illusion (or not surprising at all). You'd think with her always in her head she'd have a better grip on the organ. Except she really didn't. She really, _really_ didn't. She felt a bit cheated, especially because her pool of spiritual energy was larger than most her age. She figured since genjutsu was made more from yin release, that she should be more adept at it.

Except she wasn't.

If the world tsukuyomi ended up happening, she was a definite goner.

Anyways, steps.

"This is all your reading material." Jiraiya said, grunting a bit as he heaved a box full of thick scrolls from the top of the closet space. She looked at the remaining boxes inside and felt curious, having never seen _those_ before. She'd lived in this house for near a year and here she was just _barely_ discovering more boxes for her to snoop through? It was worrying that her father trusted her enough to show her these.

It also spoke highly of her ability to look through things undetected. Or poorly of her father. Whichever.

She quickly schooled her features into one of bland interest, and reminded herself to forget the other boxes that she'd seen in there. It was probably more sealing scrolls, so it wasn't that interesting. Jiraiya was a very tidy man and liked to keep things sorted.

It was also rude to go snooping. But she was a child, and a naturally curious one at that.

"That's a lot." she said in surprise when the box was slammed onto the hardwood floor. He chuckled, leaning over it as he blew the dust off of it.

"There's a lot to learn, I told you."

"Who taught you?"

He made a weird noise in his throat. "Fukasaku. They trained me since I was young. I think I was about 12 when I found their scroll? Hm, now that brings back memories."

She giggled when he set the first scroll down and saw that it had cute doodles of frogs on them as the back design. "These are the accumulation of my notes while I was training. It might be confusing, but if you have questions, just ask."

"Are you just gonna leave me to read these then?" She didn't mind reading, but she wouldn't have minded hands on lessons either. She also had expected him to be there with her to explain things.

"For a bit, I have a meeting to get to." He leaned down and kissed the crown of her head, his smile warm and soothing. "Be careful, Suiren. If a stranger comes to the door, kick them in the balls for me, okay?"

"Roger that."

When her father was gone, she took the scrolls and pushed the box with all her might to her room. It took a while and she was definitely sweating by the time they were in the center, right next to her bed. She slumped against the cardboard boxing and then reached for the first volume of notes.

When she unrolled it, she could've sworn she could sweatdrop. Or maybe it was the heat of summer.

"Heh-heh." She rolled it back up, and went to fetch her father's handwriting of _now_ , to hopefully use as some sort of key to better understand what the hell he was saying in his 'notes'. She swore she was going to get through this if she had to go about it as if she was translating some foreign language!

* * *

It was hours into her studying and her head was hurting when she heard the doorbell ring.

She was grateful for it, remembering that if this was a stranger she would have the rights to kick said person in the balls. But what if they didn't have them and were a girl? Or what if she knew the person?

Feeling a bit like a zombie she headed to the front door and pulled it open just for her to stare.

Idly she thought, _does it count that I_ don't _know him? Is he stranger if I only know him vicariously?_

Hatake Kakashi stared right back, his dark onyx eyes swallowing any light that came from the waning day. It wasn't dark yet, being summer with the sun sticking around for longer times. Yet it felt like midnight the moment she saw him.

She should kick him. Right? He _is_ a stranger and her father said to kick any stranger in the balls while he was gone. Right? She didn't want to disappoint her father.

It wasn't like Kakashi would actually get caught in her kick, either. He was a jounin _and_ an ANBU.

Experimentally, her leg swung up and he caught it almost instinctively, and even though she couldn't see his mouth, she knew he was frowning by the way his one visible eyebrow scrunched.

It'd been months and she hadn't seen him until now.

He was, hm, fifteen? Sixteen? Around there.

"Is Jiraiya-san here?" he asked and she shook her head. Before he could leaf himself away, she grabbed for his hand that had her ankle in his grip and pulled him inside, displaying a talent she didn't know she possessed by hopping on one foot backwards. He dropped her ankle when they were inside.

"He should be back any minute though." At least she hoped he would.

She certainly didn't want him leaving the village or getting called to do something that would take forever. Even if she was mature for her age and could probably take care of herself perfectly fine by herself, she didn't like the lack of noise in the house when he was gone and Naruto was napping.

At least there was Nines now, she reminded herself when she saw the puppy charge into the room.

Nines wagged his tail sniffing Kakashi, interested and excited. It was probably because the guy smelled like a dog himself. Not that it was a bad thing, just that he looked like he'd just gotten done with a mission and smelled of the outdoors. Her father sometimes smelled like that.

"Do you want a snack? You look tired." She blushed, remembering that they hadn't been introduced yet. "I'm H-Ha . . . Suiren." She felt weird saying she was a Hatake, especially in front of him. But at the same time it was weird using her mother's given name. It was a fake one anyway.

His expression went from stone faced to slightly amused, "Hatake Kakashi and I guess we're cousins."

She nodded mutely, "I guess your hair is similar . . . " she murmured and Suiren would have said more if it weren't for Naruto cutting in with an untimely wail. Immediately Kakashi's face went to deer-in-headlights before settling as if he hadn't made such a face at all. Nines raced back into Naruto's room.

Realizing their hands were still linked she pulled Kakashi with her, despite his efforts to stay behind, and brought him into Naruto nursery room. She figured even though it was slightly cruel, knowing the kind of crap that had been going on recently in his life, she also figured the guy needed to meet Naruto.

He is his sensei's child after all.

She flicked on Naruto's bed light and found her baby brother curled up in fetal position, his face scrunched in pain and his eyes a look of confusion. Immediately she dropped Kakashi's hand and was at his side, pulling him from his crib to hold him. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she felt so helpless as he sobbed.

"Bui, hurts. Hurts." He kept mumbling, and she felt his tears on her shoulder. She was so confused, and looked back at Kakashi to see him standing there as if he was some sort of rod. He looked as helpless as she did. Out of his depth.

"Kakashi-san, can you get my father? He should be in a meeting, I'm not sure where, he never said."

"Is this normal?"

She looked at Naruto, trying to pick apart his chakra from Kurama's and noticed there was a distinct ripple there. Kurama was pissed for some reason, and it was making Naruto hurt as a result. She should have been a bit weirded out that she could distinguish the two, not being a sensor-nin, which also worried her.

"No, it's not."

Kakashi did his leaf thing, and as she kept rubbing her brothers back, she realized another reason why she wanted to learn sealing. So she could have some way of helping him and the biju inside of him.

Suiren didn't know how she'd do it, if things had to go as they had in canon for Kurama and Naruto to reach an understanding. But if inside of him was the 'good' portion of Kurama, and if even he was also a mass of hatred, she didn't think she had a hope against the rest of them.

It terrified her.

* * *

 _Even if it was closed, even if it was covered, he_ knew _. He knew that eye._

 _He wanted to devour the world if it meant the damn thing went with it._

 _Fuck the rest._

 _He was so tired of it all._

* * *

 _ **Unedited and posted (6/21/17)**_

 **A/N:** Eh, don't know how I feel about this chapter. It was kind of meh to write. Maybe because there was no fluff. Fluff is key. Fluff is what makes the world go round, I dare say!

I think because the fifth chapter was so easy to write, this one had to be harder. It's all a matter of equivalent exchange (forget that this isn't FMA).


	7. An Introductory of Sorts

She hadn't expected her first "hands-on" lesson to be accompanied by her brother as the subject.

Jiraiya was mumbling and looking over her brother with a keen eye, and kept shaking his head.

She doubted he knew what had happened, but she had her own ideas. One of them being that quite possibly Kurama had somehow sensed Obito—more specifically, he'd sensed Obito's eye. Which confused her. Or well, his reaction did. She had been convinced the fox was still stewing in his hatred, not wanting to interact or affect anything just yet. That he wouldn't show himself until Naruto was a pre-teen. Because that's how it had been originally.

Except it was all glaringly obvious to her, a girl who knew things she really shouldn't. A girl who really, in the end, shouldn't have existed at all.

Still, Kakashi had been his genin teacher, so surely Naruto would have felt much the same feeling as he had prior to another meeting with the man. But maybe the real factor was time? That sounded like such a stupid reason, but the Nine-Tails Attack had happened not a decade ago but a mere near year.

She looked at her baby brother and realized that it was soon.

The anniversary of his parents death and subsequent sacrifice. She wanted it to be a happy day, but it was fast approaching, the time in which the villagers would be reminded that they had lost loved ones.

They would spend the day at home.

"There's nothing wrong with the seal," Jiraiya said with a frown. "It's near perfect for having been made in such a rush."

She didn't want to voice her thoughts, let on that she knew the real story. She didn't know why she wanted to keep it to herself. Being quiet wasn't helping any, but she still felt that it was, in the end, not her destiny to change things. It was Naruto's who was at the moment sniffling, his tears only recently dried up. The poor boy had cried for hours and she was still feeling useless by the time he was done.

"Something triggered the fox." Jiraiya said, but it was more of a mumble. As if he forgot she was in the room. Suiren didn't think Jiraiya even realized she knew about Naruto's predicament. They never talked about it. Except it was quite obvious his seal was agitated and showing its face, and she was not blind. She wondered what kind of excuse he was going to use, or what words he was going to tell her to forget this. Or maybe it would be the truth, but most adults never told small six year olds what they thought they couldn't handle.

Apparently, unless you were Kakashi or Itachi, they thought you couldn't handle a lot.

"Tou-chan, are you finished?" she asked, and he looked at her in muted surprise. Yup, he'd forgotten she was there. Maybe it was worry over Naruto that him forgetful. She should know, the entire time she'd spent waiting with a wailing baby was also the time she had felt like she didn't even know she had a name. It was that kind of fear, forget yourself and try to make everything better. Except all she was able to do was hold him, assure him that she was there, and yes she knew it hurt, but that the pain would be over. Or at least she hoped it would be over.

She couldn't remember anything like this happening to Naruto until he was well into his youth, but she hadn't seen anything of his developmental years, and things were obviously different now than then. Was it her fault? Did trying to show Kakashi Naruto cause this?

If that was so, she didn't want Naruto to be around the man until the right allotted amount of time had passed. But still . .. Naruto had been his sensei's child, and who was she to keep him from him? A mother hen, that's what. She wanted to keep away anything that would potentially hurt her dear brother, wanted to crush it between her fingers. Except she couldn't. Because Suiren, despite being the child of a great man, was not such a person.

The sad thing was, she didn't know what kind of person she was. What role she would play beside the one she'd designated for herself.

None of her thoughts would really matter though, not until Kakashi actually came to greet the boy.

"This seal, do you know what it means, Suiren?" Jiraiya asked. And she simply looked at him. To answer, or not to answer. Would she get an honest response if she denied it? Or would she simply get asked questions of herself if she said that yes, she had indeed known what the seal meant. "It's a type of container seal."

"Why is it on my brother?" She asked, looking at Naruto, but not with anything unkind in her gaze. She just looked, unable to stare at her father with the lie he didn't know she was both emitting and telling. She had decided to play dumb. She wanted to see what it got her, what he would tell her.

For a moment she felt his eyes on her, and when she looked back to Jiraiya, she saw him visibly thinking on his response. In the end, he shook his head. "Don't worry about that, I'll tell you when you're older."

She would have felt a bit miffed, but there was also a gag order for a reason. Her brother, even if he was _her_ brother, was ultimately an S-Rank secret. It wasn't a very well kept one, since most could infer what the hell happened that day, with Kushina having been pregnant, the visual aid of Minato's sun blonde hair and sky blue eyes, and then ultimately the boys last name. You didn't need even half a brain to get what happened there.

She admitted she didn't quite understand why in the end they decided to keep his last name despite Jiraiya adopting him as his own. She didn't mind it, his name was iconic in her head, and would have felt like a sham for her say. Like how adding Hatake always felt like for her. Get real, Hatake Naruto? It just didn't sound right. Left a bad feeling on her mouth and a strange recoiling in her gut.

But so did Hatake Suiren, and she was growing more used to the sight.

She shrugged when Jiraiya looked like he wanted some sort of response from her. She already knew the truth, reiterating it for her ears wouldn't do a damn thing.

For a moment he opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something. Then he stopped, shook his head and sighed.

Not a damn thing at all.

* * *

There were no other incidents with Naruto after that, or at least not during the rest of their youth. Suiren, of course, was glad for this.

Instead, she only ever saw Kakashi, the man she suspected being the root to that days problem, when he was hopping across roofs or going roundabout ways. They never interacted, even if sometimes their eyes would meet. There was simply no reason to.

If she ever had a reason, she knew where she was most likely to find him, but for some reason couldn't dredge up the confidence needed to seek him out at the Memorial Stone. Didn't think it was right. After all, Suiren knew quite a bit about her "cousin". None of her information had been received, however, by the appropriate means.

Meaning it had been taken against his will, something she knew were sore spots for him.

It was because of this, that she felt guilty any time she met anybody she knew of from Naruto's eventual future. It wasn't a good feeling. She didn't know why she entertained it.

* * *

Naruto was tripping over his feet when Suiren promptly caught him by the back of his shirt.

"It's just a bath!" she said, exasperated.

"Not dirty!" he shouted back at her.

"Don't care!" she said, "Tou-chan said we're going, so we're going to the hot springs!"

Of course, she knew the real reason they were going, and it was not something as innocent as a family bath time. She wanted to groan, but knew it would be pointless to stop the hand of fate from spinning. Jiraiya was simply made to be a pervert, and it came naturally to him. This was more than likely an excuse for him to peek on the ladies. Not that this was the first time.

She wouldn't even be all that shocked if she discovered some of this "meetings" were excuses to do ecchi things. Ugh, she didn't want to even think of such—

"Bu-buiki!" Naruto shouted.

She gasped. "Where did you learn that word!?" It went perfect with her thoughts, but she knew he was using the word for _her._ Which was not okay. Not. At. All.

"Tou-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, and Jiraiya sighed after the two of them.

At first it had been weird for her to hear Naruto refer to him as his father. He wasn't, he was hers, but then again it didn't really matter what she had seen of the future. That in those pages he had referred to the man as something else, that then he had definitely been more like an uncle, or a weird ojii-chan. It just didn't matter anymore, not when at the moment, Jiraiya was his surrogate dad.

It was also because she was his sister. He emulated her in many things, and calling him 'tou-chan' was just one of them.

"Don't ever call nee-chan buiki!" she insisted.

"That's right Naru-kun, your sister is not buiki, she is yuubi." Buiki meaning vulgar, and yuubi meaning refined. She was proud of the last statement. Liked being something likened to that.

Suiren finally grappled onto the boy, and held him fast to her chest. "Say sorry Naru-kun, you hurt nee-chan's feelings." For show, she started making sobbing noises in the back of her throat. Almost immediately he swiveled in her hold on him and started pawing at her face in worry.

"I'm sorry, bui-nee, I'm sorry."

She sniffled and immediately nodded before he could also start tearing up, "Alright, Naru-kun. Now let's have fun and forget all the sadness!" He cheered, the response near instantaneous.

Jiraiya was chuckling after them, Nines in his own arms trying to get free to join the two children on the floor. "C'mon kiddos let's hurry up, daddy is supposed to be meeting a very pretty lady, and will need your help."

Suiren looked at him, feeling it was a lost cause to deny him. "You think every pretty lady is gonna like you cause you have cute kids?"

"Listen, Suiren, women like men with children. It shows I can be dependable, and that I'm responsible enough to raise two adorable little tadpoles."

"We aren't frogs. And are you sure?" She scrunched her nose up at him.

"You aren't a woman yet, Suiren, so one day you'll understand." Behind that though was a muttered, "I hope you don't though." That was said very vehemently, and yet so softly she almost didn't catch hit.

She sighed, a bit irritated. "C'mon, Naruto, let's go appease the ero-sannin."

"Ero-sannin!" Naruto chimed, and Nines howled.

There, now everything was right in the world. She was pleased all over again. Yes, this felt right to her.

Jiraiya laughed, "It's not wrong, but should you really be teaching him that?"

"He would just learn it sooner or later anyways." Was all she responded with. Which was also, quite frankly, not a lie.

* * *

As was stated before, Suiren loved to learn.

Fuinjutsu was not an exception to this rule, and as such took to it like a fish to water.

It wasn't even all that surprising that she was gifted with it, her father being who he was. But it was not all that. In the past, she had . . . she knew she had been an artist of some sort. Felt when she held a brush in her hand that this was familiar to her. She held it differently than when writing with a pencil, and was instinctive to her how she would stroke the ink onto the pages.

At first she had thought, _this is so easy, why doesn't anyone else take up fuinjutsu if it's so powerful?_ It wasn't even that she was a "prodigy" or whatever and just knew how to do it because of hax genetics. No, it wasn't something so silly as that. Yet it was the easiest thing she had ever taken up.

In her years at the academy there were many things she learned, but none held as much water to her as fuinjutsu did. Her ninjutsu? Passable, she had a lot of help from her father which made her decent. Taijutsu? She was average at this, but was pretty fast when she wanted to be, and in her age group was one of the best kunoichi's with it. Which also, given her heritage, was not surprising. Genjutsu? She'd rather not talk about that.

Her henge, she worried, would place her in the same position Naruto had been in at the very start of the original "story".

Other than being average at most things, or more specifically averaging out as a kunoichi that was very much a jack of all trades, she was adept at kenjutsu. This wasn't a skill more touched upon in the Academy though, and didn't really know anyone who could teach her beyond the basics. So kenjutsu was something similar to fuinjutsu in that it came surprisingly easy to her.

The fact that by the years of learning the art she was excelling at it still peeved her. _It had been a hard to learn thing they said, people didn't really master it, they added._ Suiren didn't know why she was so pissed by this, but she was. She wanted to be impressive to her father, and sealing wasn't impressive at all!

She had voiced these thoughts with a frown when she told her father that things were too easy, and that she wanted a challenge, something interesting to do with the art. He simply laughed at her. _Laughed at her._ She was a bit miffed at this.

"My little tadpole, of course it's easy for you. You're _my_ daughter." Which had only served to rile her further. It was as if he was proclaiming her affinity for the form was something that was also his. Which, in a sense, it was. But more than that, it was because she was so good at it, and was a fast learner, that she felt she deserved a bit more recognition that that. Also she wanted an answer.

"Why does no one else learn?" she asked again and he held his face in his palm as he leaned over to look at her work.

"Well, a long time ago, during a war way back in my golden age, there was once a land filled with many people that also knew fuinjutsu. They were a large group of people, most of them under the name of Uzumaki." he paused for effect, clearly willing her to understand something. She did, but it probably wasn't what he'd intended for her to get. In fact, she already knew this story. But it wasn't always bad to reiterate the tale, especially when it came from a source so rich with material. Meaning her father who had a knack for stories.

Stories he told Naruto and her under the cover of night, or when they were all bored and there was nothing to do. She loved listening to them, hearing tales of his escapades, or of something he designed himself. Jiraiya was more to her than a 2D character, had been for a long time, but each time he said something she'd never heard before it drove that point home. She admired his creativity, how _civilian_ it felt for him to be telling them bedtime stories, his two children.

Except she had never received them in the care of her mother, and even beyond that. She couldn't recall fuzzy childhood memories of being told stories by anyone close enough to do so. This was a first for her. A cherished first.

"This place was called the Land of Whirlpools, it still exists but it's only a husk of what it used to be. People refuse to settle there, so it's more of a holy land now. Think of a temple with no people around, no gods to worship. There is just remains of what once was. The houses are collapsed, the fauna overgrown and there is nothing but the wildlife to accompany the sounds of the whirlpools. It is a place where once great things had occurred, a place where things no one could possibly imagine, could actually happen. It was like a dream of some sort.

That is what fuinjutsu is now, a husk of what it once was. Most of the secrets were lost the same day we all lost all of Uzushio. It had been _their_ artform, the Uzumaki clans. No one else. They say the art had been passed to their family from the Sage of Six Paths himself, though I can't confirm that. Fuinjutsu, well they had perfected it. Were monsters to be feared with the sort of knowledge they had. The sorts of things they did . . . _could_ do . . . but no more.

They grew too strong in the end, and as such only a few remained. There was one girl in particular, and she had the characterized red hair that was often accompanied with their people. The Uzumaki's were famed for more than just their hair, though. They had great chakra reserves and long lifespans. I think I met a man that had lived to be two hundred. Her hair though, it's a puzzling sight . . . you'd never see it here in Konoha, or anywhere else for that matter, but it was bright and like fire sometimes."

He stopped speaking, looked as if he was imagining something, was transported to that time. She couldn't follow, only had sparse memories of Naruto's mother, but was sure that's who he was talking about. What she did remember was that it had been that red hair that had saved her somehow.

The silence ended the moment he started again, and it was abrupt, "I call myself a master of fuinjutsu, but there are some things even I don't know how to do, that used to be done with ease. Those secrets are gone now, and one of the only people who kept them close to her heart is now gone, too. I guess all great things come to an end some day." The way he said it, it sounded so wistful. Nostalgic.

"Naruto will never know." she found herself whispering. It was such a terrible thing to think, that there lie in the possibility that Naruto would never even know his birthright. The feats his clan, his _family_ , had been capable of. And he'd never know. And neither would she, because despite holding him so close to her, she knew they were only siblings through unfortunate means. They did not share blood, only contacts.

Sometimes she despised the world for that.

Still, she was so selfishly glad that she had the privilege of being there for him, for loving him as a person. She remembered loving him when in another life altogether, but it was not the same as now. Now he was something more to her than a boy who had taught her many things while she herself was growing up. He was, in all its entirety, her most precious person.

"Does it bother you?" She looked up, confused, until he added, "That you aren't blood related." How he knew what was going on in her head, she didn't know, but was too sad to question it.

She decided to be honest, "Yes. But only because it's unfair that we're only a replacement of the real thing. We can never compare to ghosts." She drew in breath. "I wish . . . sometimes I wish I could come close to it though. I'm afraid I might become insufferable to him in the future. Maybe it's because I love him so much."

"I know how you feel."

The two looked at each other, and at the same time they sighed.

It would seem they really did.

* * *

It took a while for her to get her head out of her ass and discover the real answer to her question. The why people didn't study fuinjutsu. The answer also made her glad that she had been persistent in questioning it.

It wasn't simply because the arts were pretty much lost and people didn't have the means of learning it through proper masters. Her father had learned from _toads_ for god's sake, and that had been when the Uzumaki clan had still been active and alive. Rather it was a mixture of how much of a stranglehold the Uzumaki had on the form, and also because of genetics.

Or, not really genetics, but because of chakra and affinities.

She realized this the moment in the Academy when they were going over basic fuinjutsu. Like, _basic, basic,_ basics. So basic she cringed.

In her whole class the only people who had been able to even attempt at a proper seal had been her, unsurprisingly, and Kouta, which had been a real interesting turn of events. She thought that Raijin and Kazuki could do it if they really understood the art the way she did, but they didn't and in the end most of her classmates had been furious or bored. Namely Shiba who had been both.

Why had both of his friends but not him be able to perform something like sealing? It hadn't even been a real seal, it had been activating one. Which was embarrassing to the other children that at eight years old they couldn't do something so simple.

She thought this way until their teacher, the Nara, explained.

"Everything in fuinjutsu is a concoction of both yin and yang chakra, mental and physical. The reason why most of you could not perform this yet is because most of you probably don't even understand the distinction between different releases, and even then, most of you won't be able to do any real sealing when you do. Yin and Yang release is not a common affinity, and it's dangerous for those with no ability for it. So please, don't try this at home, kids."

It was precisely that moment that she had understood what she possessed and what the others distinctly lacked.

Suiren was always aware of her chakra, was sensitive to it in any of it's forms, and knew that naturally her chakra affinity was one of water. What she hadn't realized, and should have given all the reading she'd done on the subject, was that fuinjutsu was similar to ninjutsu in a weird way. They both required the use of chakra, while some sealing techniques required hand seals, and also had peculiar effects.

Ninjutsu was the act of making something intangible become a reality, a distinct difference from genjutsu which was making sure no one got the fact it was all an illusion. Or perhaps that's where those two things were the same. Making something not real, "real". But this wasn't about genjutsu and ninjutsu.

But it was about ninjutsu and fuinjutsu; they had in common that they were about making the impossible—at least in her eyes—possible. A reality.

And in the end, the similarities did not stop there. If she thought about it, any jutsu had the same origin, starting at Kaguya and her children, and her children's children. So, for the most part, they were the same and should be treated as such. (Forget genjutsu, she hated it with a passion.)

So now in her eyes, fuinjutsu was not just an art unto its own—even though it totally was—it was also a variant on ninjutsu, requiring the use of an affinity not everyone had. Just like she found it extremely difficult even contemplating learning a fire release. Some people's chakra just didn't work that way.

And it made her happy to finally have the answer.

* * *

 _ **Unedited and posted (6/24/17)**_

 **A/N:** So, hopefully this chapter makes at all, _any sense_ whatsoever. I'm not the best at explaining things, so I hope I did my thoughts justice. Also, I'm not dawdling on her Academy period for years on end, so time will shift, probably in weird ways.


	8. The Fish is Not a Lie

"The teams will be as followed," Shimura-sensei started, her voice light. "Team One; Kouta, Souba Natsuki, Hyuuga Raijin. Your jounin is Ueno Setsuki."

Suiren wanted to chortle. If chortling was even a thing.

Kouta hated Raijin, had hated him ever since that day they'd all acted like complete children. Which they were, and still were for that matter. But they were ten, and freshly made genin. It was just a shame that Shiba hadn't been able to join them in graduation. His grades were too poor, even if he did well at the technical things.

She would have worried more if she didn't honestly want him to remain an innocent child forever.

Becoming a shinobi changed people, she knew that very well, but not first hand yet.

Still, she didn't worry as much about Kouta who had already been a changed boy. Despite his being a rowdy personality, he was also incredibly gifted. But in the wake of other gifted children, he was also meant to serve as "dead-last", despite having graduated early along with some of their older peers.

In reality the only ones who'd graduated with the older genin ahead of time had been Raijin, Kouta, and herself. It wasn't wartime after all, but some children needed to be challenged, and it just so happened they fit the bill. Suiren was still mildly surprised she fit it at all, but then again she was Jiraiya's daughter—it was starting to feel like a cop out, or a hax like the Uchiha Sharingan. Just a, "oh, so this is why Suiren does so well." It irritated her somewhat that none of her accomplishments could be solely hers but a sign that her father's sperm did well.

Or something annoying like that.

"Team Two; Mineba Kei, Buki Izumi, Hatoru Satoshi. Your Jounin will be . . . "

She didn't know most of the children, they were all twelve, unlike herself and her original classmates. It had honestly been a whim when she took the test, something her father had encouraged for quite some time. He'd been even more instant upon learning of Itachi's promotion to chuunin. As if this was some sort of race. It wasn't, and most of the time she spent thinking about the Uchiha she kept blocking out knowing what would eventually happen.

It didn't concern her, no matter how deeply she felt for his circumstances. She knew he was caught between a knife and a sharp place. But still, she didn't have the capability to help him. Or anyone but herself and Naruto.

Sometimes she fantasized about it though, saving the day and subsequently the Uchiha's in general.

But that was a child's dream, and something she knew for a fact she couldn't accomplish, not by herself and not easily with others. She was, after all, not fit to be truly anything what a shinobi required. Besides, if Itachi had deemed by the end that he needed to kill his family to stop an all out civil war, then who was she to find some mysterious answer that had eluded them all in the first place.

The answer was simple: she wasn't.

Sometimes she wished she could just become some sort of merchant. Sell seals for a living. Something that didn't involve actively doing something regarding the fate of the world.

Again, she reminded herself, it was not her destiny to change things.

She would tell herself that, even knowing she didn't know quite what it was for her to do.

"Team Five; Uchiha Tsuneo, Hatake Suiren, Kenshin Minoru."

Suddenly, Suiren hated her luck.

The first name in her team, an Uchiha. And she'd just been thinking about them.

"Your jounin will be Uchiha Yuudai."

Suiren actually groaned. Did she even _need_ to point out why that was ominous?

In the end, it wasn't fair at all.

* * *

"My name is Suiren, I'm going to master fuinjutsu, my hobby is ikebana, and I really look forward to working with you all." she said, and was glad her voice was still and steady, unlike the entirety of herself that was sweating buckets.

 _They're going to die,_ her mind supplied. Unhelpfully.

It was almost as if the world wanted her to do something about it, but she couldn't. She really couldn't. What could she possibly do? She was an optimist at heart, but in her head, she was a realist. She knew that to even have any possibility of stopping the Uchiha Massacre or a civil war that would ensue if she _did_ manage to stop it, it would take skills and a position hierarchy wise that she just did not have.

What could she possibly tell the Uchiha's that they didn't already know themselves? They realized they had a thirst for power, that they wanted to have equal say in governing as the Senju because they were a family that also had it's roots in the tree. In fact their roots were thicker than most, yet they were treated unfairly. Not given as much of a say, and shucked off to _police_.

She understood why they wanted change, why they were willing to fight for it. But she also understood that it took more than want and the selfishness to make it possible. It wasn't as if they _asked_ for eyes that made them deadly, dangerous, and far too often gave them a step above everyone else. They just _were. But_ in the end, they had something others didn't, and it _did_ make them feared.

Which had been why the Uzumaki's had all died out.

Fear did a lot to people. She knew that.

Her brother had taught her that, all from how the villagers called names at him. Sometimes things were thrown if she wasn't there, which was rare, but happened despite herself.

They were hateful, so hateful towards a _child_ who had done absolutely no wrong. Yet they acted as if he was to blame for their hardships, as if blaming a child could possibly rectify their situation.

Sometimes she hated the village.

Most times she hated it.

"Hello, Suiren-san." Their jounin said. He even had to look like a complete Uchiha, his dark hair silky and his onyx eyes almost pure black. It irritated her, more than she could admit.

 _I will just have to not care for them,_ she told herself. Easy enough, she was good at creating distances. Even if she felt like a knife was at her back.

Her jounin, Yuudai-sensei—who she was strictly calling Yuu-sensei, in her head and would out loud if she could help it—turned to her new team members.

"I'm Tsuneo, I want to master every fireball jutsu my clan has to offer, and my hobbies are cooking and hanging out with my little sister."

At that Suiren decided she hated the Uchiha clan, too. Not because they'd done anything expressly wrong to her, just that she realized his little sister would also end up dying. And realizing meant she'd have to mourn a child, in fact many children. Even if they meant nothing to her. She still felt for that loss of life.

Life was a precious commodity, after all.

"And I'm Minoru. I want to be a kenjutsu specialist, and eventually reach jounin. I don't really have hobbies unless you include reading. I also look forward to working with each other." He smiled at her, the only ones who said they looked forward to this grouping.

Suiren decided she liked Minoru.

Minoru also wasn't going to die anytime soon.

* * *

Whether they realized it or not, their teaming would have been a near perfect one in terms of all out crowd control combat. They would have been perfect in the front lines if there was a war to be fought and with a bit more years of experience. Tsuneo had his sharingan and fire jutsu's, Suiren had her reactive seals that could blow up entire persons, and Minoru was a freaking prodigy with his sword. He was honestly sometimes quite terrifying, more so than her sensei who just treated them all a little blandly.

(Well he treated Suiren and Minoru blandly, he was always there for Tsuneo.)

One might think that Suiren with her explosives, Minoru with his sword, and Tsuneo with his fire ninjutsu's would be a weird team. But it wasn't.

If Tsuneo couldn't do something about a target, Suiren was usually there to back him up, and if that didn't work, usually they could push fights in the direction where Minoru could incapacitate anyone they were fighting against. It was like a well oiled machine, their parts moving in tandem.

Or it would have been if they were fighting any real enemies with any real firepower, but they all just had practice with other teams and their natural affinity to move based off each others tells.

As it was, Suiren was stuck using smoke bombs rather than real booming ones or seals that would splat colors on another like a game of paint ball, a tell of how much damage she's do to a person. Tsuneo was similarly nerfed, sometimes he's be blind folded as a sort of practice to not rely on his primary senses. Minoru had taken to to mostly practice with wood rather than steel, which was expected but used his families chakra style which ended up having the wood be lined with a cutting amount of wind release. Something from the Northern countries, she thought.

They might have been genin but they were impressive, even if they lacked experience.

Their personalities sometimes conflicted, but it wasn't in the usual Team Seven way that meant one of them had to love her and hate the other. Or something stupid like that.

Instead it was because they were all such quiet children. Even Minoru, who was—as edgy as it sounded—like his blade, only making a sound if his sword was hitting something. Tsuneo was the closest thing to a wild child they had, and it was mostly because sometimes he'd want to prank their sensei with something mischievous, like tagging him with some sort of seal Suiren had made that was a flop of a jet spray—it was supposed to be like a water bazooka but with a seal. It turned into more of a water gun.

The sad thing was, Yuu-sensei often didn't care if it was Tsuneo doing it, just would smile at the boy and pat him on the back. Oh, but if it was _her_ and _Minoru_ , it meant extra laps, extra whatever else he'd deemed willing to teach them. Not that they'd tried, just that they'd been blamed for things that hadn't been their fault.

Yuu-sensei was, in short, not a very good sensei.

He reminded her a little bit of Kakashi in that way, only ever really praising Sasuke because he was an Uchiha and from a clan where Obito had been from.

But what of Naruto who had been his sensei's son? Or even Sakura? Even if she had been a bit annoying before training under Tsunade, that didn't mean she didn't deserve to be taught any less.

Useless, useless thoughts. Her head went round with them.

Suiren, despite herself, loved her team after the first few months. Even Yuu-sensei who acted as if Minoru and her were beneath his feet at times. She knew he was a supporter of the coup, but she still enjoyed moments when he'd show a softer side when she'd do something well . . . or when she was injured and he'd needlessly tend to her. Even if it was to make sure she could still be up to help the mission succeed, she liked it.

Yet the entire time they were with each other she felt as if he was thinking of her as she had been thinking of him, "a person with numbered days."

* * *

Naruto and his sister walked hand in hand to the Academy and he felt a bit nervous while they went. His other hand was at the end of his shirt being pulled into his tight grip. His lips pursed and he kept a hold on his sister, who looked at him knowingly.

Naruto wasn't shy—far from it, but he wasn't sure of the children he was going to meet.

He didn't really have friends, even if Suiren had tried getting him to play with Kiba or Sasuke, it just didn't work out. It was as if they thought something was wrong with him, and he didn't even know why.

It was something he didn't understand, though to be honest he didn't understand a lot of things.

It had been recent when he's notice this, but everyone he'd ever met in his life besides his family had looked at him with the same set of eyes.

The same cold, malevolent expression that would cause him to freeze up or act out in anger. He'd done a lot of stupid stuff, gotten his sister and father in a lot of trouble because of it, but he'd only wanted one thing. He'd wanted them to stop looking at him like that.

As if he was some sort of . . . monster.

Which Naruto wasn't, he knew for a fact he was human just like the rest of them, right?

Suiren said so, she always said so. And his sister had never lied to him.

"Do you think I'll be a good shinobi?" he asked, looking up to his sister. She was always pretty, even when she was angry at him—which was often. She looked like their father but he didn't know what their mother looked like. He'd never met her, and neither Suiren or their dad told him anything about her at all. It was like she didn't even exist. But they needed a mother, right?

He didn't mind the lack of one, but sometimes he's wondered what it was like.

If Naruto had to have a mother though, he would want her to be just like his sister, who he already regarded as one. She'd always been there for him, in fact he couldn't really remember a day he hadn't seen her. He knew that soon he would have to, his sister was going to eventually leave for long periods of times like his father, who had more business dealings outside of Konoha more often as of late.

"Of course you will, silly, you'll be the strongest among us all." Suiren said, her eyes bright and her smile wide. He skipped a bit, swinging their hands together. She let him, giggling softly when she fluidly moved around him. His sister always moved like that, like water. Sometimes he was jealous since he was so clumsy and fell over himself a lot. He envied his sister's grace.

"Really? Like the Hokage?" He wanted to know, because he wanted to make her proud and Suiren wouldn't lie to him. She was always blunt, and never dishonest. He wanted to be like that, too.

She took a moment to reply and he let her, basking in the feel of her hand in his, and the warm feeling he always got when she was playing along with him.

"I'll tell you what, Naru-kun. I believe, if you believe, that you can do anything you set your mind to! You have that drive, y'know? That whole Will of Fire they always talk about right in your gut. So don't forget that, and you'll definitely become the strongest."

He grinned, "Right, dattebayo!"

She giggled, and the two kept skipping until they reached the Academy.

Naruto wasn't nervous after that, because he wouldn't fail his sister. He'd make sure she was proud of him like he was proud of her.

* * *

It was on a mission in the Land of Waves that she found something strange. Now, mind you, this was not a mission like Naruto's future bridge builder screw up. It was a simple guard a merchant mission, a C-rank for the amount of time they'd have to spend on it and how much they were getting paid. Which sounded similar, but wasn't. The merchant had a caravan and it was very easy to protect as bandits hadn't really been a common thing in this route, the mission contractor had just wanted to be careful.

Anyways, the strange thing she "found".

Well, it wasn't strange, more misplaced than anything. Really, the scroll had been just peeking out at her from rocks while everyone around her had been sleeping. It had been her turn to take watch and her eyes had caught it when she'd scanned the area.

 _Now what are_ you _doing around_ here?

There was no response, of course, but she still left her post to seek it out, wondering just what the hell this was.

When she picked it up, she thought it was some sort of genjutsu and proceeded to try to disrupt it—to no avail.

Unfortunately—or lucky—for her, she was too curious to just leave it be. She opened the scroll, carefully, only to find that this was something very, _very_ strange indeed.

"What is a koi summoning doing around here?" she wondered aloud and looked at the river beside her. Didn't koi fish prefer still water? Or was it rushing? She didn't know a damn thing about fish. But she noted that on the scroll was no names.

Usually there were names to these things, signs that someone else had once or still possessed a bit of ownership over the summon. Yet she knew it was a summoning scroll because there it was, a picture of a swimming koi and the title of it letting her know quite clearly. It even felt like a summoning scroll, and she should know, she'd seen her father's enough times.

He'd offered to let her tie herself to the toads, but Suiren had always denied. She felt that that honor should go to someone other than herself, someone who would have existed in the first place. It belonged to Naruto.

"Suspicious." she mumbled, and nearly chucked the thing right where it had been. No way was she going to sign herself to something so—

"Aren't you going to sign it!?" A voice squeaked out, and she looked around, trying to find it's source until she did and it was right behind the rocks, belonging to a—holy shit.

 _Holy_ shit.

Oh.

What!?

What the hell!?

Was that a—was that a walking, talking _goddamn fish!?_

It was.

Oh god.

It totally was!

She also didn't know how the hell she got into this situation.

The koi fish, person thing, whatever-the-hell rounded the rock he/she—it—had been hiding behind and bowed low before letting out a weird gurgling sound. Suiren had never felt like she was in an anime more than at this moment, watching a koi fish with orange and white patterns all over _bow_ to her. This koi in particular had an orange spot over one eye and reminded her of a dog.

Except this wasn't a dog but a fish. A fish that was standing on flippered feet, and had hands that weren't hands at all but some sort of strange arm? Honestly she wasn't the best at describing features, but the idea she got was that this thing was not human, but a fish. A fish who was living and breathing as if it was human. And not dying. Like a fish usually would without water.

This koi also had on an apron, covering it's belly, though she suspected it's belly looked much like the rest of the fish, and saw a tail wagging behind itself.

 _This is a fish_ , she reminded herself, _not a dog._

"Why would I sign it?" she asked, a little too confused and freaked out. You'd think being reincarnated with intact memories would make it more difficult for her to be genuinely freaked the hell out. Nope. It could still happen.

"Because! It's a summoning scroll! Don't children like summons?"

"Yes they do, but I'm not a child." Genin weren't considered as such.

"But you're ten, right? " the fish said, and if possible it's fish lips dipped into a frown. Weirdest. Thing. Ever. "Are you not a fingerling?"

"I suppose in a way I am." she replied, and wondered why she was even talking to a fish.

This had to be a genjutsu, right?

"I guess it makes sense then, why Uobiki had asked me to deliver you the scroll. You are the world walker, right?"

"W-world walker?" Now she _had_ to be dreaming. Or Tsuneo was playing a very mean prank on her right about now.

"You walked from a different plane to this one, right?"

She froze, regarding the fish as if it was a figment of her imagination. Surely that's what it was.

"It was not like walking at all." she said, because it _hadn't_ been. Suiren still had nights where she woke up freezing wondering if she was still dying, a part of her already lost and forgotten in the crushing waves.

"In any case, you are like us, an existence not meant to take hold in this world, yet here nonetheless." The fish smiled at her. It. Smiled.

"What do you mean?" she asked, even though she shouldn't have. Curse her curiosity. It was determined to be her fatal flaw. Even in this life.

"Sign the scroll, and you'll find out."

She knew she shouldn't. She did it anyway.

The first thought in her head after she'd done the deed?

 _The fish is not a lie._

In fact the fish had a name, and was a male fish. He had informed this to her when she had made an unknowingly rude comment at his coloring—she'd said it was beautiful. He'd squawked and said it was _handsome._

"I'll have you know I'm very desirable." Gyoda said and she was again reminded he was a fish. A weird fish. It was even in his name. Gyo, the on'yomi for the kanji, sakana, or 魚, was the word for fish. Da, or だ was often an exclamatory addition to a sentence. Like, "It's a fish!"

It didn't even matter his ending kanji for the da in his name was most likely 大, the word for big, which sometimes made names start or end with da in whichever place it was. Which would translate to big fish.

"It's a big fish!" her mind supplied.

It shouldn't have, but it translated to that in her head every time she was forced to think his name.

This was every time she looked at the him.

A part of her thought this was all a fever dream. It wasn't. Again, the fish was not a lie.

"Now that the scroll is all taken care of, I'll take my leave. We'll be expecting you, Sui-sama. Do well on your mission. Wouldn't want our fingerling to fail." Gyoda said, winking at her before turning into a whirlpool of water.

If that wasn't telling, she didn't know what was.

Also, the fish could wink. She didn't know if that made it cute or disgusting. Both?

* * *

 _ **Unedited and posted (6/27/17)**_

 **A/N:** So this went a weird way. Don't worry, there's a purpose to the fish, the fish is a necessity and don't you dare forget it. Also, sorry if the time skipping felt a bit fast paced, I just don't want to spend forever with her as a child and get to the meat of the story, which is coming up, something of a real beginning, most of the prior chapters have been more of an introductory to the characters. That's probably why this chapter is so short. No time to diddley-daddle!

(If there are certain fluff scenes though from their past I totally don't mind writing omake's.)

Also, decided on the pairing which is Shisui x Suiren, who won't really appear until a certain specific scene, so sorry if anybody hoped for someone different. (I myself had wanted Itachi x Suiren, but my sister shoved Shisui down my throat and now I can't help but spew it.)


	9. Dreaming of Whirlpools

She had been sleeping, she was sure of it. She'd literally dropped the moment she came home, too exhausted to even hug Naruto. So she was sleeping, she had to be. Until she wasn't in her bed and she was on the ground—not on her bedrooms flooring.

"W-wha—" she began, scrambling up and looked around wildly. Her eyes were wide and her heart was racing, and she kept trying to release the genjutsu. But it wouldn't do anything and she was still not in her bedroom but in the middle of some sort of . . . what was this place? She looked up, and found that above her looked to be something of a glass ceiling curved like a dome. She blinked when she saw . . . were those fucking fishes swimming right above her?

It was too high up for her to tell.

She squinted, and then cast her gaze around what seemed to be a plane underneath some sort of body of water. She was standing on sand, her toes digging into the soft grains and felt almost as if she was at the beach. Except above her was something so impossible and crazy she had to wonder if she was in fact in a dream. Or in an extended genjutsu, maybe a tsukiyomi even though she knew no one who had a reason to use it against her.

This had to be a dream. This had to be some sort of continuation from meeting Gyoda.

And it kind of was.

She felt like she was inside a fish bowl, and saw around her seaweed and different species of reef wild life, the corals around her jutting out like mini houses and for some reason there were odd looking flowers circling around her as if this was some sort of garden. She recognized a few, and others were the likes of what she'd never even seen. There was one that repeated though, all around her. The white lotus.

The glow of light wasn't even from the sun above, which wasn't up, it was coming from blue lanterns that emitted a soft moonlight glow, something that soothed her despite herself. She felt she was in another world entirely.

"Welcome, Sui-sama!" a girls voice shouted, and she swiveled with a jump of alarm only to be greeted by . . . a small child? It had to be a child, her voice was small and adorable and she was a very tiny fish. The girl even had a pink bow on her head that stuck to her in a way Suiren couldn't tell. "My name is Ouri! I was sent to summon and greet you so that we may impart you with much wisdom!"

Suiren just stared, her eyes wide and her lips pulled apart. Then she shut her trap and nodded soundlessly, trying to prepare herself. _A dream_.

Maybe she was so stressed recently with the looming future ahead that she was making up some sort of situation that was as hard to believe as her saving the Uchiha's.

Or maybe this was all a reality and she was just struggling to accept the concept of a fish that could live outside of the water.

Ouri made a hold out of her flippers with Suiren's hand and pulled her along, Suiren crouching and keeping pace with trepidation and a hefty dose of paranoia in her heart.

As they walked she looked around, growing more alarmed and excited all at once. It really was an entirely different world down there.

At the same time though she felt herself seizing in a mimic of that same paralyzing fear of death. She remembered drowning and her body had been filled to the brim with water, her lugs refusing to work and her eyes misting over from the foam of her struggles. She had felt every inch of the burning in her chest, felt her stomach fill and then she was breathing it all in until breathing had turned into fire and ice all crushing her from the inside out. Death had been a gift to her in that moment because her legs had stopped listening to her and her heart beating and beating—reminding her she was still alive to fight for life, right until she wasn't and it slowed to a stop and her eyes no longer saw and she was—

"S-Sui-sama, can you lighten your hold, it's hurting me." Ouri said, and Suiren stopped to see the fish wincing, her odd brows pinching together. Immediately Suiren lightened her grip, and felt guilty for getting lost in her thoughts.

"Ah! I-I'm sorry. I'm just a little afraid to be here is all." An understatement—she hated and enjoyed it all at once.

"Why? Byakuren is a very peaceful place, we've never had any fighting here in well over four decades, I think. No one comes here anymore, after all."

"Oh?" Suiren murmured, trying to forget about the residual feelings of fear. It helped to be learning something new, even if it had been that habit of hers—her unquenchable thirst for knowledge that had led to her death the last time. It was an irony, sure, but something she sardonically took humor in.

"That's right, we'll tell you all about it! Come, come! It'll be much fun."

"R-right." she mumbled, her lips pulling into a small smile. The fish smiled back, and the two then made their way to the biggest coral in the center, two other fishes waiting with great big grins that flashed . . . fangs? What the fuck? Why had she not noticed that before? Their maws were full of sharp teeth made to be ripping into flesh and yet they looked like koi fish.

Fricken weird.

The oddities did not seize there, however.

The waiting fish opened some sort of latch and they were allowed into the 'building' peaceably, the fish waving at them and Uori chirping happily.

Inside was a different story entirely. It did not look like the outside at all, the inside of it had wood flooring but the ceiling was open so you could still sea that weird dome over their heads, reminding her that they were on the bottom of some sort of ocean, or maybe a lake. A big lake that could fit this large building and several other houses like it right underneath it.

It honestly looked like some sort of manor house despite that, but more in a traditionally Japanese sense,

"Sui-sama!" she heard a familiar voice call, and then Gyoda was disengaging from a group of fish to stride over to her on bouncing fins, his tail wagging behind him as if he was an excited puppy. "You have arrived! Good work, Uori."

The girl in question muttered something of a thank you, and no matter how impossible the girls face went into a blush. _I thought fish were cold blooded!_

Uori quickly left after that, squeaking along the way.

"Yes, now what is it?" Suiren asked, feeling entirely out of her element, which was ironic again, it being water. God she was starting to hate the stuff.

Everything in her life had something to do with it—she'd died to it, her father's body had drifted into it, and now here she was under an impossible dome keeping the water at bay, right under a huge sum of the stuff. It was the beginning of a nightmare.

"Well," Gyoda started and sat her at a table, waving to a pillow there for her to be. She did so in confusion as the group of fish of before did the same and then they were all there. "we wanted you to meet us all. Boss is out at the moment—he's doing some teaching for the little fries, but he'll be arriving shortly I'm sure."

"Okay . . ."

"But! We can start by saying that as you're our first summoner, we're very happy to meet you, gyo!"

"N-nice to meet you, too." She rubbed the back of her head, and bowed a little. "I hope we can work well together, then."

"Oh, we will! We've been watching you since you were a small fry, and just know you'll make a great addition! Your chakra signature is different, did you know? It's just like us, Sui-sama. Otherworldly. Kind of."

"What do you mean like you?" Suiren asked, alarmed. "Otherworldly?"

"Ah! Don't worry. Do you remember what I said about you and us? Both not meant to be here?"

She nodded, all rational thought fleeing her head.

"Well, we aren't. By laws of this world we were meant to leave it. Except we haven't, just like you, or it's more we've taken a different form of life entirely."

A different fish cut in, one that had the look of a catfish, little spindley things at his lips, his scales a mixture red and black. "I am Doitsu, it's a pleasure to meet you, Sui-sama. As you may have guessed by appearance that we are koi. That is correct and yet not true at all. But before you learn this truth, you must prove yourself honest."

Gyoda frowned and made a soft mewling sound of protest. "But c'mon, she's so adorable! We can be honest, can't we?"

Doitsu sighed, and then another person added, "Gyoda, you know how she reacts to people and things from watching her, but you don't know how she'd react to us. She could end up telling her Konoha leaders about us. Then we'd be searched and found out. Not smart at all."

"She's also right here, Gyomi." Doitsu said.

"Ah! You're right!" The fish gasped and then looked at her as if it had been Suiren's fault.

"I don't think anyone would believe me . . . " she mumbled. Actually, Naruto would. Possibly even her father. He did have toads after all, and had never told her how he'd gotten the contract. "What would you have me do?"

"A seal of course! We have it prepared, one that will keep your silence and tie you to the life force of Yuusui no Seimei."

 _The spring of existence. What a name._

"But I've already signed the contract." she pointed out. Which meant a number of things. It wasn't easy to summon without the consent of the summon, but it could be done. All out control was difficult as well, but again, it could be done. Not that she'd ever wish to extort them. Just that she was already connected to them, at least to the ones whose blood was in the seal, like her own.

"That was so we could get you here, so we could talk to you. A reverse jutsu, if you will." Gyoda said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "It made _you_ the summon."

She blinked. And then she was angry, her eyes narrowing on the fish dangerously.

"Ah! But not for long! It was a timed one, I swear!"

"I thought all knowledge of reverse seals were gone, with the Uzumaki." She'd read it in on of the texts she read, and had asked her father about it, too. He told her that most summoning seals lacked the key that made it the opposite of it's intended effect, which although his summoning contract _did_ have the key in it, it was indecipherable through years of its existing. Like an old, ancient language.

It was his turn to blink, and then he his smile became a bittersweet one, his eyes, round in their appearance darkening with the lowering of a strange outer lid. "That's just the thing, little Sui-sama."

"If you sign this particular seal, we won't be so tight-lipped about it all." Doitsu said, chuckling a bit.

The flow of conversation was interrupted when suddenly there was a burst from the door and a loud boisterous laughter following it's wake. She froze and looked up, above where the ceiling should be a figure looming and coming closer.

And then there was the figure of a Chinese dragon, his body the color of white clouds, and his scales glinting from the light of the blue lanterns, his eyes slits of his face, his mouth curling. He was round bellied, and she wondered if his eyes would be red if he opened them. She was often mistaken for an albino herself, but she knew he was an actual one. Her hair and skin were near pigment-less, but he _was_ the lack of color. And he was absolutely gigantic.

 _How is this the boss! How!? Tell me how a fish could honestly be related to a damn dragon!?_

 _A._

 _Damn._

 _Dragon._

" **Ah!** " His voice boomed, and he made great noise as he came forward, and she looked up past his head—he nearly reached the top of the dome itself, just by being perched. " **Our little summoner. Suiren of the white lotus, fitting for us indeed. For we are of Byakuren no Niwa. Would you not say it's perfect? Meant to be?** "

Byakuren . . . white lotus or absolute purity. The garden of purity. The garden of the white lotus. Such fitting names indeed. She almost believed it was fate. Except she didn't because she knew this hadn't been a thing in Naruto's original world.

" **I am Tancho, and I have been waiting for you for quiet some time. Perhaps before I even had my family watching you from the moment your voice was added into this world. We have been awaiting for the moment you would come of age to offer our assistance.** "

What assistance?

The confusion must've shown itself, because the giant _fucking dragon_ leaned over with his clawed. . . hands? He extended them which was the size of her father—probably even bigger—right next to her as some sort of step stool. She got on, and felt odd doing so, but elated all at the same time. A new experience, she thought, something that was completely unique. No one she had ever known had met a race such as this, after all.

" **I will tell you everything, but first, you must gift blood to the course of our river. In doing so, you will be ours as well, and with it, our secrets.** "

"Uh . . . okay." she murmured, and almost immediately Tancho was flying out of the 'building', her in his palm. She was shoved by the brunt of the air knocking her off her feet and struggled to stick to him as he headed out of their mini village and through some sort of opening in the dome. It's opening was just big enough for him, but she saw him have to duck his head a little.

She realized belatedly it was the inside of a cave they had walked into.

And then she was not thinking at all but experiencing the vision of beauty itself—the _meaning_ of it all in front of her, the form of a pure, glowing pond swirling and swirling. It hypnotized her, lulled her into thinking of nothing but it when he set her down, her feet moving of their own accord.

"This is it? The spring of life?" she asked.

Tancho did not answer, he was silent as he regarded the small child.

For some reason she was crying, tears streaming down her face and there were loud sobs pouring from her mouth. She clutched at the fabric of her pajama top, her chest hurting from some sort of old wound, and it reminded her of the feeling she had before death. Something of her being grateful and regretful all at once.

A bittersweet feeling.

"Why is it so sad?" she asked, and found herself suddenly on her knees before the soft sounds of the water. In the pond were surface water lilies—lotus, twirling with the flow except they were unlike all she'd ever seen before. They glowed with the same vibrancy as the pond itself, their colors a mixture of hues.

"It feels like death." she found herself saying, and she was breathing heavily through her tears. "Why do you call this Seimei?"

This didn't feel like existence or life. It felt like sadness and happiness, like everything good and pure in the world, and everything wrong and frightening. It made her both sick and bursting with excitement. It was two halves of a feeling between decay and a pristine presence.

" **You, child, you understand.** "

 _No, I don't._

But he'd said to gift it with her blood, so she bit into her wrist, ignoring the pain of it. She didn't have anything sharp to do the job, and wasn't going to face the boss just yet—out of embarrassment of her complete breakdown.

When she was bleeding she stuck her hand and wrist into the pond—and was then sucked inside of it.

* * *

 _There were voices._

 _So many damn_ voices _. She thought she heard a symphony of pain and horror, of laughing lilts and small outbursts._

 _And somewhere there was the truth in the midst of it all._

 _"We have to run!"_

 _"There's a traitor among us. Feeding them shit! Feeding them things no one outside our clan should know!"_

 _"We're all going to die."_

 _"Shh, it'll all be all right, I love you."_

 _"I love you."_

 _"I hate you."_

 _"I love you."_

 _"I_ —"

 _"Love."_

 _"You."_

 _"WHY!? WHY DID YOU DO IT!?"_

 _"Because we are monsters."_

 _"It'll be alright, Kushina. You'll be safe in Konoha."_

 _"THIS ISN'T RIGHT!"_

 _"This is when you die."_

 _"I've already had about a hundred of their heads, you?"_

 _"Heh, that's nothing. Have you seen the women? It's almost a shame they'll be non-existent by the time we're done."_

 _"How naive you sound. You're adorable, y'know."_

 _"I really do love you."_

* * *

It had been a massacre. No, a genocide.

A complete annihilation of a clan, the likes of which this world had seen only a few express times during the Warring Clans Era but never at such a high estimated body count, and never so closely. Thousands. Thousands dead. An entire body of land made into a graveyard by the hands of the men and women with hatred in their eyes.

Monsters?

Her father had said they had become monsters to be feared, but the true monsters had been the ones doing the killing.

And this body of water that she was inside . . .

It was the culmination of their last drops of blood, their life forces fading and their wells of chakra all being released into this one last final resting place.

A holy land.

A holy land.

A holy land.

A graveyard more like.

Suiren was still weeping when the water finally allowed her to come up, and somehow she felt like a puddle herself when she was back on land.

" **Sui-sama, do you know how a summon is made? How we come into existence?** "

She shook her head, rubbing at her eyes.

" **From the souls of the dead, the souls this world wouldn't allow to depart. We become something new, and as the Uzumaki, this is what we have become.** "

"The other summons?"

" **The toads were once a great family, they are only legends now, long ago while Kaguya was still walking these grounds. Most do not keep their prior life's knowledge, but you are like us in that you had.** "

"How did you know?"

There was silence.

"And who was it? Who did that to you?"

More silence.

"I thought your secrets would be mine."

" **It is a dead clan. They destroyed themselves in the end, and only petals are left of them.** "

"But who was it?" she had a terrible feeling. She wanted him to just spit it out.

" **It is hard to tell you, you would have belonged to it if given other circumstances.** " He seemed to chuckle a bit, but she wasn't listening to his laughter. She was thinking on the fact she might be related to those who had crushed her brother's clan. Immediately she felt guilt, such immense guilt.

"The Hatake's?" she asked, and her eyes widened, and the implications of that alone—

" **No. Think of your mother.** "

"She was a civilian though, a whore. If you had been watching you would know that."

" **Kokuji had been young when she had been sold, but she should have known herself. She should have told you.** "

"Told me what?" her voice came out in a small sound, and she wasn't crying anymore, but she was looking up to Tancho's face, and saw his clear, beaming red eyes looking at her in a solemn way.

" **Sui-chan, this was a long time ago, and you do not bare the sins of your forefathers, they are not your own.** "

"And why have you even come to me!? Why!? Why!? You didn't come to Naruto! So why are you coming to _ME!? Why have you been watching me!?_ "

She was so angry! She was fuming, and her heart felt sick, and she felt as if she was going to hurl her guts up. And none of this made sense!

" **Because you are an existence not meant to be here, you are something that upset the nature of this world, and we are here to fix it.** "

"Fix me how?" she cried, and it was more of a warble. Were they going to kill her? He had said she did not bare the sins of killing their clan but maybe all of their nice words had been a ploy, and they were going to kill her.

What would become of her if she died?

" **It is already done, feel for your coils.** "

She did so, glaring at the dragon, which was outright rude but she was beyond the use of propriety.

And then she was staring at him in dawning horror.

"M-my chakra . . . m-my—what did you do with it!?" It was gone. She couldn't feel it at all, and where it usually sat was left with a weird feeling of a rushing river. It didn't feel like chakra. It felt as if her insides were changed and that she wasn't human anymore.

" **You are now linked to this spring. Your chakra is directly with it as well, as all of us here in Byakuren. It is where our souls reside, and where yours is as well.** "

"But I-I'm—I'm so confused! Just tell me outright and please don't be cryptic!"

" **Settle down child, and I will tell you.** "

She did, but she mumbled about how he should have been doing that in the first place. He picked her up and sat her there directly in front of his eyes. It was so strange, but she felt more aware of him now. Could somehow sense that he was sad, elated, and mournfully still. That she could feel something outside of herself was so weird to her.

But she was more terrified than anything.

 _What does this mean for my life? My soul? Not inside of me?_ Unthinkable. How was she even living.

"Am I even human anymore?" she dared ask.

" **You are human, child. No need to fear. But you're also something odd. The fact that your chakra is like our own is very strange, y'know. It would seem something had failed with your birth. Or went right, depending on how you think of it. Like I've said, most souls that come to this world and stick to it after death become something like us, a summon, although a summon is a tentative word at best. We become a different species, almost like a miniature tailed-beast. Small bodies of chakra with thoughts and feelings, and with kin of our own.**

 **We are the culmination of a human soul that has transformed through their chakra into a different form of being through death. It is more through being reborn that we attain this. In this world there is a cycle, you see, and sometimes the cycle breaks and something is made from that breaking. In which case, that is what we become. You, I fear, might have been born human, but through your rebirth your coils stuck something else along with it. You have prior memories, right?** "

"Yes." she whispered.

" **That is the sign of a broken reincarnation. You should have been made to be born as something like us, the fact that you were born into a human body means you might have been something else in your past life, were you? It is something I have always been interested in. I've hypothesized you came from somewhere not belonging of here.** "

"It's nothing like here." Was all she said, uncomfortable. She didn't want _anyone_ to know she didn't belong. That she had never supposed to exist in the first place. Yet here she was, sitting on the clawed paws of a dragon boss talking about death and rebirth.

" **What were you?** "

"Human. I have always been human." She thinks, anyways, she only had memories of one past life.

" **Hmm.** "

"I still don't understand, why did you do all this? Watching me, making me sign some shoddy seal, forcing me to become a part of your spring. You said that the clan who had done all those horrible things had been on my mothers side. So why? I am still the blood kin of your murderers."

" **There was a disruption within the natural world. You needed to become a part of it or else a catastrophe would come, Uobiki, our seer saw this at your birth. We don't know if has been negated, but the winds have already soothed themselves, it seems. Can you not hear it's call?** " Suiren shook her head, mystified. This had become so strange so quickly,and most of her thought this all just a dream. A strange, strange dream.

The serpent continued, " **At** **first we had been unsure of you, when we had felt your strange chakra blink its first sight. So we watched, we saw what you saw, and listened to your cries when no one else would. We became fond of you, began to love you, despite the fact you share blood with our enemy. We saw your smiles and heard your laughter, such innocence befitting of your name.**

 **And then we realized something, you are not our murderer, you are someone else entirely and everyone is never truly born to do evil. As you are, a child who had to raise one our own with a father who didn't know the first thing about children. You asked why we would never show our face to Naruto, and it is because he does not need us. _We_ are not needed. Our knowledge of the sealing arts is not a good thing, it is a damning one. It is the thing that killed us. Our arrogance. We do not wish that upon him.**"

She sniffled, tears welling in her eyes again.

"You are not monsters." she said.

" **Ah, but we are. And you would have been one, too. The grandchild of our traitor. The one who had made us see it.** "

* * *

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked, his brows bunched together. She was staring at her plate of food, but wasn't really eating it. She picked and then looked up to her brother.

The world had become strange. _She_ had become strange.

Suiren didn't like what she had learned. She didn't like it at all.

That she was a Hatake was outrageous, that she was also the daughter of a Sannin was also like that, and the fact that she had Uzumaki blood was only making it worse.

It was as if the world was trying to build her to become impressive and yet she was still herself, Suiren. And now she didn't even have chakra. Not in the normal sense, at least. And she didn't know how to tell her family or her teammates and _especially_ the Hokage. Could she still practice seals? Could she still perform ninjutsu? Walk on trees and water?

She didn't know and the fear of that was crushing. If she could do nothing for her family then why was she even here?

How could she tell them?

As far as she was aware, she was under express orders from Tancho to not utter one word about their existence to anyone.

But she was already a ninja, and yet her she was, with this . . . weird link to a pond underneath an ocean—and wasn't that strange! It was making her think she had become insane at some point. She wanted to weep at the thought.

"Yes, Naru-kun. I'm fine." She smiled, and thought that the only good thing about this was that Naruto was most likely a cousin of hers, much closer in blood than she had first thought. Except she was directly related to the person who had single handedly did what Itachi did—would do.

She wondered if the Uchiha clan became something like the Uzumaki after their deaths. She also wondered in which form they'd take and thought that cats would be fitting. But cats eat fish, and here she was, now officially a contractor of koi. Or wasn't there already a cat summoning? She didn't know. Didn't care, the more she thought of it the more she thought of how useless knowing would be.

"Nee-chan, can I stay home today and work on seals with you?" he suddenly asked and she looked at him in surprise.

"Naru-kun you need to go to school."

"But you can teach me better than _they_ can." he grumbled, glaring at his food. "The teachers hate me, and so does everyone else. Why? I haven't done anything wrong."

She looked at her brother, and that sense that something needed to be said filled her. She was tired of lying and him being lied to. It wasn't right.

So she got up from her seat, took his hand to pull him and picked him up to wrap his legs around her waist. He was getting too big to be held, and was trying to break from her hold but she kept a tight grip on him. She held him closely, breathing in his scent. Her eyes widened when she realized she could smell a second scent underneath his primary one. She could smell Kurama. She was changing in more ways than she realized.

That didn't matter though.

Not at that moment, anyway.

Suiren walked the two of them to Naruto's bedroom and then laid on top of his bed holding him close and kissing his forehead. He was confused and kept rambling at her that he was embarrassed, but she simply gave him love. He would need to remember that she loved him no matter what.

"Naruto, I'm going to tell you something that might be scary, that you will hate, but know first and foremost that I love you. I will _always_ love you. Even if you did something heinous, if you became someone despicable or cruel. You will always be loved. It won't happen—I know that, but just in case I want _you_ to know."

"W-what do you mean, nee-chan?" his voice was small, and maybe she was being cruel to him by telling him. But he would learn sooner or later, and she didn't want the person to tell him be Mizuki from the beginning. Didn't want him to learn that way.

But she also feared he'd be angry at her for keeping it secret for so long. But she could take his anger, it was better now than not said at all.

"Otouto, there is something inside of you that has been there since the day of your birth. Do you know the story of the Kyuubi attack?"

"Y-yeah . . . everyone knows it." he mumbled into her. She kissed his forehead again and rubbed at his scalp.

"The yondaime saved the village five years ago, the day of your birth, but by doing so he had to do something very daunting. He had to take a chance for the world, so it would not fall into chaos. He did this by sealing the kyuubi into his newborn son."

She felt his grip tighten on her, and his face pressed deeply into her chest. She held him only tighter, hating how her words sounded and how he was feeling because of it.

"Your mother was Uzumaki Kushina and your father was Namikaze Minato. They would have made you great parents, but when they died, Jiraiya and I had been there instead, and I'm so sorry for that. For not being them . . . I'm so sorry. I love you, and I'm _sorry."_

She was saying the words, but she was hearing someone else speak them, the voices from Seimei stuck in her head. They were still there, and she hated it. She knew she shouldn't have accepted that summon in the first place and here she was, the cat killed by curiosity.

"But you're my sister." Naruto said, and it came out broken, a wail. There was a wetness on her shirt. She kissed him again, rubbing his back now.

"I am. I am your sister. I _always_ will be."

"And the k-kyuubi?"

She was quiet for a moment, which seemed to make him nervous, but she just rubbed at his hair.

"Naruto, I'm going to tell you a story . . . " she began.

And so her baby brother learned the tale of the biju.

* * *

 _ **Unedited and posted (7/01/17)**_

 **A/N:** Happy Canada Day!

I hope this stuff makes sense lol. Decided to make my own myth and lore. Thankfully it's never really explained just what the hell happened to the Uzumaki. By the way, not every one of the fish remembers being human. It's more of a feeling that they're changed.

This story has become weird.

Oh and the dragon boss, there's two of them (twins), Tancho is just the more friendlier one. There's a legend about a koi becoming a golden dragon, and I thought it was fitting for this story.

And THANK YOU FOR 100+ REVIEWS AND ALL DEM FAVES AND FOLLOWS MUCH OBLIGED. HOPE YOU ENJOY.


	10. They Were Gems

Once upon a time in a land where there the waters were a deep, crystallizing blue and the harvest was plentiful, and there was a relative peace to the wild world, there was a demon whose only wish was to see a rainbow.

The other oni laughed at his oddities, but he was content to be a bit weird, seeing as his mother had been a human. He figured his lack of blood thirst and hate in is heart was due to his weak heritage. This did make him lonely, and he would ask the gods to at least let him see every color in the world. He thought that if it was something like what his mother had told him about he would no longer feel the loneliness.

He would have the memories of something he'd thought only a legend.

Until one day, at the river he frequented, he saw something spectacular.

His eyes had widened and his heart had picked up in speed, and he felt what had to have been elation for the first time.

Before his eyes was a sea of colors and the sight of jumping koi springing and diving with such vigor he was exhausted just from the sight of them.

"This is it, " he said, and remembered his mother's face in those waves. They were the burnt gold of the sun, the color of a dying night dyed into dawn, and the waves of grass just beyond the shores. The demon watched as the sea of koi fought against the currents, their muscled bodies fluidly picking up speed even as they came directly to a great waterfall.

There had to have been thousands of them, a rainbow made of gems.

His heart filled with such wonder that there might have even been tears in his eyes.

* * *

"Is it just me or are you paler than usual?" Minoru asked, frowning.

She looked up at him from her place on the ground and gave him a tight smile.

"It's not just you, " Tsuneo cut in with a curious stare. "How are you so pale when we're only getting tanner?"

"No wait, I've heard of something like this, are you anemic?"

She stiffened at their questions but couldn't deny the quality of her skin was changing. Sometimes she could even see it shimmer, as if parts of her were becoming scaled . . . and it had only been about two days since she'd seen her "summons". And she was genuinely starting to fear that she was becoming some sort of Orochimaru look a like, her skin nearly a blank slate and her hair blanching even further into its white color. The silvery hue was leaving and turning her into some sort of pale, albino freak.

She was starting to fear the worst and that she was becoming a fish.

 _They had said I needed to be like them . . . but how much? Oh God, or I'm going to look like Sai or Inojin. But worse! What if I get flippers? Or gills! I'll be a white Kisame! Or . . . what if I end up . . . looking like an Orochimaru . . . !_

"It's nothing!" she said a bit too forcefully. _How have they already noticed?_ Their two day relief was over so now it was back to training, but she hadn't thought her complexion had changed _that_ much. Or so quickly!

It was only when her sensei came upon her that she started to genuinely be terrified.

He had her in his arms before she could even see him, and though her instinct was the fight back or do some sort of replacement jutsu . . . she couldn't exactly do anything without chakra. She'd tried . . . oh how she'd tried. For hours she'd sat there in her room trying to summon enough chakra to stick a piece of paper to her fingers. It was a basic chakra exercise, so basic she'd had Naruto doing it by the time he was three! And she couldn't do it!

"Suiren, there's something very off about you." Yuu-sensei said as he kept her in place. She looked back to see his eyes narrowed suspiciously, and his eyes to be the pin-wheel of the Sharingan. She quivered, but held firm even though she was increasingly wanting to just pee her pants.

 _His eyes . . . he's really pissed._ She thought, but it was more than that.

"You don't usually have such good chakra suppressing techniques, I still can't feel your coils. So tell me, Suiren, are you actually her?"

"Y-yes!" she said, and shook underneath the waves of his killer intent. She felt dizzy, and then dizzier before the world was dark.

* * *

She woke up with a pounding headache and to see that she wasn't in her room, or anywhere familiar for that matter. She blinked blurry eyes and when the world focused on her, and she could focus past her head ache, she saw she was in a white room.

This room was very simple, only containing the bed she laid on and a chair on the far side by the door. For a moment she thought she was either in the hospital or . . . she didn't know. Did Yuu-sensei really believe she was a fake? And had he really not been able to sense her?

Suiren had never been the best at hiding her signature. She had _had_ a decent amount of chakra for her age, and as such had no hopes to be included in ANBU when she grew older, or any division that meant she had to be discreet. She was a front line fighter, more geared toward all out combat rather than assassination where the target would never see it coming. When you saw her, you'd see it coming. Or that's how it was supposed to be.

And now she didn't know where she was, what the hell was going on, or if she was in some sort of trouble.

 _What if . . . what if they have a Yamanaka_ —she was going to go insane if she jumped to moronic conclusions like that.

Did she really have no sense of reality that she was going to just go right to the "oh, no, they'll see my memories!" conclusion? It was obvious they would be concerned with the integrity of her identity. She was no laughing matter as the child of a respected man. Really, it was only because she felt she had to hide it that she had thought of it at first. But now it wasn't just the memories of the future she harbored but also the existence of the koi summons.

They had said they didn't want to be known, but she didn't know in which way.

Could she really keep it all a secret when she was in this room she had no idea how she'd gotten into?

She hoped they wouldn't ask. She really hoped that they'd all just forget about it all, and take it as some weird effect . . . or something.

She was really being too hopeful.

Suiren jumped when she heard a loud banging from somewhere far off, and then thought she had good timing to be waking up at the moment she had.

It would appear her father was home.

"WHERE IS SHE?" she heard him yell, and had to clap at his set of lungs, even though she felt silly. As if she was praising him for his acting, though this was clearly not acting. He sounded very upset.

Another set of voices and crashes soon occurred within moments afterward, and if she hadn't been so nervous in the first place she would have been ecstatic to see her father after the long months without him. She had missed him, since he'd been gone during her team placements and Naruto's start at the Academy.

The fact that she'd missed him at all was such an alien feeling to her, to someone who tried her best to be unaffected by others presence and to live as easily as she could. Suiren was not the type to yearn for things she had no hopes of attaining.

Family . . . it had been one of them, and Jiraiya in her eyes was a godsend for giving her that sense of normalcy. Even if he was away more often than not.

"Jirai—"

"TELL ME! SHE DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!"

Suiren got up then to open the door but found it was, obviously, locked. She hanged on it in building frustration, and then gaped when the door's handle came off.

 _What the_ hell.

Then someone tried to open the door themselves and it . . . it didn't work. She'd heard the deadbolt unlock from the inside as well, but it wouldn't open.

Did she . . . did she just lock herself inside?

She looked at the handle in her hand and tried pressing it back on, but it wouldn't and kept slipping until a broken bolt popped through.

"Suiren-san? Did you just break the lock?" came a composed voice, and she blushed in her mortification.

Another voice chimed in, "Maybe she doesn't want to see you, because it's not really her."

"Bullshit." Suiren heard her father grumble. "Ren if you're by the door at all, step away, I'm going to break it. "

"You can't break—"

Too late, Suiren had just stumbled to the side when the entire face of the door caved in and she was saved by just the inch of a air wooshing out to knock her back a little. If she'd had her chakra she'd be able to keep her feet on the ground . . . she did not. She fell flat on her back and cringed when she realized it was made of stone.

She looked up after wincing to see her father, and immediately her eyes filled with tears even though she didn't want them to. Suiren wasn't a child, but in that moment she felt the ten year old girl that she was after facing a traumatizing few days. She wanted her guardian who was her protector to hold her and tell her everything was still normal. That _she_ was still normal.

"It's her." Jiraiya said, and the two others beside him didn't look convinced.

* * *

Jiraiya's first thoughts when hearing his darling little girl was being detained by the Torture and Investigation division was that it had to be a mistake.

Now, as he looked at her—her skin almost as white as the walls of the room, almost the color of their hair—he knew two things at once. 1) This was his daughter, he knew with no doubt. 2) She was being influenced by nature chakra, and from the feel of it, it was almost like that of a sage while in sage mode. Except, he didn't have one clue how she'd accessed sage mode and who had taught her.

Also, who ever had taught her without his permission he was going to dismember very painfully. For days.

"It's her." he said, and Suiren bobbed her head as she went to get up on shaky legs. She looked unhealthy with her pigment changed, the red of her cheeks the only thing awash in her face. Was she dying? Was she okay? His heart beat faster with fear he couldn't help, and even though Jiraiya had never been one to make a big deal out of things outwardly, he was freaking out.

"Ren, darling, what happened?" his voice sounded hollow to his ears. "You can release the nature chakra, now, okay? Just settle it outwards like a pool, envision it seeping from you and everything will go back to normal."

She looked ready to sob as she shook her head and went to step towards him, but not before one of the people he came in with stepped forward. She flinched as the boys hand came forward, his mask covering all expression from his face, but his eyes a dead giveaway.

"We haven't been able to ascertain your identity, quite yet, so please step away from Jiraiya-sama."

Immediately, she glared, showing much more steel than she had in her life as she focused on the bottom of his mask.

"I'll be curt, it would appear either there's something wrong with your coils, as it's misplaced, or you're an enemy shinobi with a dangerous kekkei genkai. If you would be willing to enlighten us, it'd be much appreciated."

"My name is Suiren. I swear it."

"I'll be the judge of that, look into my eyes."

Suiren, being the type to follow orders did so, and her face went slack when their stares connected. It was then he realized her pupils weren't as they should be, slitted like a cats or some reptile. He didn't like it, as his eyes in sage mode became more frog-like. Which meant whoever had taught her had to be reptilian. If it was a damn snake . . .

But he wasn't going to get the answer until they were certain she was who she was. It was frustrating, and he hated it, but he wasn't stupid. He might be able to feel nature chakra as a sage, but not many others could. It was a rare talent, or one gifted through miscellaneous ways. Mostly through summons which were always connected to the world's system of chakra.

"Tell me, who are you?"

"Suiren." she answered, toneless.

"What happened to your coils?"

At this she outwardly cringed and gritted her teeth, "T-taken."

His body felt cold.

"What do you mean, taken?"

"Sucked up. Replaced. I think. I don't know."

"Who did this to you?"

She closed her eyes, and her eyes filled with even more tears. She looked to be in pain when she said, "I can't say."

"What do you mean you can't say?"

"Seal. Blood. It might kill me."

"Is this seal on your person or—"

"It's through blood, inside, not like a flesh seal or a paper seal. Inside, ties me to them."

"Thank you, Suiren-san. I apologize for forcing you like this, it had to be done."

With that said, Suiren slumped to the floor, before the ANBU leapt to catch her before Jiraiya could. He steadied her and pushed her towards the bed. He could see her look up for a moment and glare at the ANBU with vehemence before she blinked out into sleep.

* * *

Gems. They were like gems, he thought.

* * *

The next time she woke up she felt cold, and her head was still pulsing a hammering tune. She felt sick and heavy, and wondered if this was her dying from the lack of chakra in her body.

She was at least in a hospital room though, and took the water provided at her bedside with greed. She was starving, her stomach cramping in unfamiliar pain, and her eyes burned. Suiren was miserable.

 _Stupid fish, and their stupid seal. And ugh!_

How dare they just come into her life and make it into hell!? What had she ever done to them!?

"Sui-sama!" came an annoyance she'd rather not deal with.

She glared and hissed out, "what?"

"Ah! Sui-sama!" Uori quivered, "what is the young lady mad about?"

"Everything." she muttered.

Uori hesitantly hopped onto the bed, and rolled onto her tummy. "I'm sorry, Sui-sama. We're only trying to help . . . "

"Help?" Suiren grouched, "You lot took everything normal from me and you call it help?"

She felt guilty when Uori flinched and made a small mewling noise. "I-I'm sorry!"

Suiren sighed, defeated, "I don't feel well, Uori-san, please leave me alone."

"I-If I may . . . it's because of your distance from Yuusui no Seimei, all of us feel it from the moment we're born. It gets easier being away from it, but you're practically like a newborn."

Suiren hid her face in her knees and groaned. "I swear, nothing you fish ever say makes any sense."

"I-I'm sorry . . . "

"Don't apologize."

"S-sorry."

Then there was silence and she'd thought the fish had left until she said, as soft as a breeze, "I'm very glad to have Sui-sama as our contractor . . . I hope you come to feel the same."

Suiren wasn't going to say anything, but had to insist, "At least let me tell my father the truth. I can't live with no one knowing."

"I-I'll ask Tancho-sama."

"Okay."

* * *

Telling her father the truth had been difficult, especially with her being as increasingly sick as she was.

He sat by her bed with worry evident in his eyes, and took her hand as she told him the details she could. There was nothing about the Uzumaki or where the fish lived, but she did include that they'd taken her to it. She just didn't know where that was. Which wasn't a lie.

She also didn't include any talks of her coming from a different world, or anything of that nature. She basically painted it as turbulent as it had been, which was basically at the whims of the fish who'd summoned her.

"You need to go back there then." Jiraiya said when she'd finished explaining the weird relationship she had with the spring.

She blinked. "I can't just leave!"

"Of course you can."

"There's Naruto to think about," she said in earnest. And then she looked at him closer. Squinting her eyes, she added, "Where is he anyways? Do you have anybody watching him? Making sure he doesn't hurt himself or do anything too stupid? You do know he's kind of a mischief maker, right? He's painted the stone monument twice this month, and believe me, his painting has only gotten better."

"Ren, he's fine, no need to worry. I have ANBU watching him." He told her, sounding exasperated.

Her father, a man who had grown ANBU trained to kill watching after her tyke of a brother. She wanted to palm her face. It was a waste of resources.

"Summon a fish," he continued. "Have them take you back and when your better, come back."

"I have duties!"

Jiraiya steadied her with a look of his own. "Ren, you may be a genin now, but with your lack of chakra you may not be able to continue doing that. We need to fix this, okay, sweetie?"

When put like that, she relented, but not without a bitter taste in her mouth.

Suiren, despite knowing that she wasn't suited towards shinobi life, loathed the idea of turning in her hitai-ate.

But maybe she loathed disappointing her father more.

* * *

 **A/N:** So some people were a bit confused from the last chapter which is understandable because it really deviates from other Naruto fanfiction in that it has strange story elements. Like summons being made from the chakra of the deceased? And Suiren having her chakra funneled into a strange pond the fish call "Existence" so she can become one with the world? Strange, I know.

My explanation in rough is this: Suiren is from a different world, she does not belong here AT ALL. She's an anomaly, one that the koi fish feared would bring doom and destruction, because her being is not something of the realm, but _other_. Think of a butterfly, what just the beat of a wing can cause. They needed to make her into something that fit with the laws of the world before something terrible happened, which meant either they kill her or find another way. They chose an option not unlike what Kabuto did to become a sage. In short, she's basically become a sage. (ish.)

Please ask questions about what specifically has you confused, so I can address them via A/N or through the story itself.


	11. Dead Leaves

It wasn't a simple thing to overcome, the differences in her appearance or the differences in how she fought.

Short answer was this—she couldn't fight the way she used to.

Ninjutsu, genjutsu, and anything that _needed_ chakra to be put into use was effected by her lack of human formed coils, but thankfully, it only made her water and wind type releases that much stronger since she used a combination of her old chakra and nature chakra. By all intents and purposes, she supposed she had become a sage of sorts, like Kabuto when he's gone into the snake cave to be bitten by the head snake. Now that she thought about it, perhaps what happened to him and her weren't so different if one didn't use semantics. Except he hadn't had his entire system morphed to be something completely different.

Still, at least she could still do fuinjutsu with some real talent.

In fact, over the three years of her working to overcome her new lacking, she had been trying to convince the fish to teach her the secrets of the Uzumaki arts. Apparently the elder's, the ones who still remembered, didn't even teach their younger children the truth, and so she was always stuck thinking of the basics of what she _could_ learn.

It never felt like enough, even though she realized that as someone who was _not_ a genius like Itachi, it was impossible to learn so much in the space of time she felt she needed to.

Suiren, if she were honest with herself, didn't know why she was working so hard to overcome her flaws. She didn't know why she kept struggling to become someone stronger when she already knew the end game of the story, and had only planned to change one major point.

Her father's eventual demise.

Except, as time went on, she found herself questioning her resolve to keep it at just that.

And that scared her, more than anything. Maybe even more than death itself, she was terrified of changing this world into something she no longer recognized, into something that might be world ending. If the world failed because of her, she surely would have been the calamity the koi thought her to be.

Perhaps that scared her more.

* * *

Suiren was just finishing the stroke of her brush when Uori came rushing into the little enclosure by one of Byakuren's many lively gardens. The small fish was breathing heavily and her eyes were wide and saucer-like, more so than usual which was saying something.

"Sui-sama!" Uori cried out, "The one you had us watching—!"

She dropped her brush on the little table beside her and gave Uori her full attention.

"He's here!"

"What—"

"Come!"

Uori grabbed at Suiren's sleeve with her strange fins and pulled with a force she didn't know the girl had in her, all the while her mind racing with questions.

They ran to an unexpected place, one that had her heart yammering in her chest with dread.

 _How is he here? How is_ anyone _not a fish_ here?

 _And how did he find it out!?_

Or more importantly, _which he?_

The spring, when the two of them ran over to it, looked as it usually did until she saw it glowing with more green than usual.

"He was drownin'!" Uori exclaimed, "How do you _drown!?_ "

 _Easy_ , she thought, _have no gills._

She frowned trying to search for another human, but could only see two other fish by the waters. Gyoda turned and waved the both of them over. Kumonryu, a fish patterned like what she thought a cow, and the general medic of the village smiled at the two of them.

"The human is in the waters." Gyoda said cheerfully. "He broke several of his limbs from the fall down into the river, and would have died on impact if it weren't for the gracious me who saved him! Are you proud of me, Sui-sama? Well, are you?"

Suiren, upon realizing what that meant gasped and went straight to pond to look, and sure enough, a black head of hair was right there underneath the waves. She turned back, furious, "How long has he been in there?"

"For a few minutes, why?"

"Ugh! He might be dead already!"

She was surprised by the growl she made at the fish before diving into waters to pull what she hoped wouldn't be a corpse.

"Sui-sama, you can't _die_ in the spring, at least not of mortal wounds." Kumonryu said when she'd surfaced, latched onto the still body.

"We aren't fish!"

"This isn't a fish thing, it's a living thing," Gyoda said.

She didn't care as she pressed her ear to the boys chest, and when she heard a heartbeat she relaxed—but only slightly. Because in her arms was none other than Uchiha Shisui, his eyes closed and his body slack.

"Seimei is a healing spring," Kumonryu explained when Suiren finally looked at the fish, inquiring. "It is a mass of yin and yang chakra, both of which is used in the arts of medical jutsu, and it does it's job very well seeing as it's related to the Uzumaki's chakra specifically. There is a latent blood-line amongst us that serves as a mender when bitten, a direct transfer of this healing via the mouth. This is just a bit different from that, in which the patient is submerged."

"Wow, Suiren, been here for how long and you don't know that?" Gyoda snickered. She glared at him.

"It's still water though, I don't want him drowning like last time."

"Last time?" the fish cocked their heads.

"I meant, like how he was about to die, y'know?" She huffed, and then looked at Shisui, before laying him over the water. She was glad when he didn't sink and she could finally get out of the spring. It was always strange to be in contact with it, something that had her entire chakra system—

"He's not going to become like me, will he?" she asked, more than a little frightened at the idea.

"The spring is picky in who it selects, and it isn't activated in the same way as for you. He is an Uchiha, so no." Kumonryu answered.

Suiren sighed, "I like you Kumon-san, you're not like other fish."

Kumsonryu smiled, "Thank you, Sui-sama."

"Hey! What about me?" Gyoda asked, waving his fins in the air.

"Good work, to you as well."

"Heh, it was nothing." She wondered if his nose would have grown longer if he'd had one like a humans.

Now though, she had a bit of a situation to deal with.

Suiren, knowing she couldn't stop the Massacre from occurring, hoped she could at least stop a few things as she looked at the sleeping face of Shisui. His name, she thought, was rather fitting. Stagnate water. It was morbid in that even though his name wasn't spelled with the character for death, shi might as well mean it. Sort of like her own name, the first character meaning to sleep or to die.

She shook her head of the thoughts, and then psyched herself up for the shit storm that was heading her way.

* * *

"Now, I know what you're thinking, what am I doing here?" she started, and though she usually hated public speaking or talking to large groups of people in the first place, this had to be said. "Think of it as a holiday . . . question mark?"

She knew it didn't work when Tsuneo met her stare with a glare, and though the two of them had known each other for years, she had no idea what he was thinking when he said, "Sure, a holiday. You've kidnapped me, my little sister and other members of my clan because of a holiday."

"Yes?"

"Have you gone insane? Have these fish brains given you one of your own?"

"Hey!" Gyoda shouted, flashing his sharp fangs, "I'll have you know we're smarter than you humans!"

Tsuneo looked at the fish and groaned.

"Well, I wanted to show you . . . Uzushio! It's a holy land, you see, and since my koi are connected to it by way of generations living off the land, I figured what a fun way to explore the place than with your family." She tried to pull off a grin but it wasn't getting through. But she was desperate and if she had to seal them all inside of a cave for a few days with a crap ton of pre-packaged food and bottled water, she was going to damn well do it.

 _It's for a good cause,_ she thought as she casually walked away, Gyoda trailing after her to the foot of the entrance.

"Believe me, Tsuneo, you will be thanking me later." And then, she sealed them all inside without another word.

It was by then all of them had understood that she'd just lied to them, and kidnapped a bunch of Uchiha children and some of their parents who were casually knocked out while doing it. If this wasn't such a crime—for good of course—she'd be having a terrible time keeping her guts inside from laughter. Honestly, she was surprised she still had guts, seeing as she'd point blank kidnapped a few talented shinobi and Academy aged to toddler children from the damn _Uchiha_.

But she had worked for years on her relations with the clan, and somewhere along the way she'd gained a bit of trust. Of course, either this would kill her or make them either hate her as much as they would Itachi for being choosy about who lived and died, or question her about how she knew of such events. Especially because she'd anticipated it—something _no one_ else had done.

For some reason, she was not sad at all about this.

Once she was outside and could no longer hear the shouts of their anger, she turned to Gyoda who kept looking at her funny.

"He is right you know, _have_ you gone insane?"

"No, at least I don't think I haven't. It's something I have to do so that maybe they'll live. I don't know when certain things are supposed to happen, but I have a general idea of something that may or not happen sometime soon. I am grateful though, Gyo-kun, you've been a great help."

His flesh flushed and he nodded, "Of course, of course, Sui-sama."

Still, she couldn't get that sick feeling out of her stomach, and that terrible taste out of her mouth.

Everything was going to burn up in her face, she just knew it.

* * *

It was a type of jutsu similar to the Hiraishin that allowed her to teleport back and forth from Uzushio and to her house, which she thought of like a port key from Harry Potter, because she had to keep something humorous inside her alive.

It wasn't _exactly_ like it, because it was more of a destination transporter rather than, stick this kunai here and literally decimate people while doing it.

Naturally, the koi had these sorts of seals set up all over Konoha and their own village, which allowed herself such access. It made it easy kidnapping as well, bringing people over long distances though had taken quite a bit from her, so when she'd stepped through the door of their house and saw Naruto, she gave him a loving smile and accidently tripped on her way in.

"Oops." she muttered, and Naruto snickered at her sad excuse for ninja reflexes.

"You okay there, Ren-nee?"

"Yes, I am. Just a bit worn out. How has your studies been going?"

His face scrunched and it was clear he had immense distaste for the subject.

"That bad?" It was her turn to snicker.

"It's not like everyone is born with book smarts! I have something that's definitely better!"

"Yeah?" she asked, cocking a coy grin his way.

"Yeah, determination, dattebayo!"

She beamed at him, and rubbed at the fluff of his hair on the way to the kitchen to grab a fruit to eat. "Keep at it, Naruto, I believe in you."

"Thanks! Hey, later do you think we can go over the beginning of your water gun seal?"

"Of course, just make sure not to think only of fuinjutsu, it's fun for pranks, but you need more than that to become a ninja."

"I wasn't gonna use it for a prank . . ." He totally was.

"Okay, well, I'm gonna sleep. Have a good night, otouto." She kissed his forehead and nuzzled into him a little bit before heading into her room.

And now it was all she could do just to wait.

* * *

She had known it'd happen close to the day Shisui died, but she didn't know it'd happen so _close_.

Suiren woke up to the news via her brother running into her room, his eyes wide and his face aghast.

"Suiren, did you hear?"

The tired girl looked up to him and glared a bit, "Hear about what?" she mumbled.

"The Uchiha's!"

She swore if this was about the lack of children at the compound and about them going missing, she was going to give Naruto a noogie in revenge. Because Suiren was _exhausted._ And she was very much into her beauty sleep and not waking up at the crack of dawn as Naruto was prone to doing for some reason. It was weird, everything else about his character was said to be lazy in doing chores and in everything not shinobi or fun related. But he _always_ woke up before her.

"What about the Uchiha's?" she croaked.

"Th-they're all . . ." Naruto swallowed, his face as white as her sheets. "They said it was a massacre, a man just came by to tell my that there's no school for a few days."

The two of them were both quiet, respective to the dead in their own way, but she was thinking about how many she couldn't have saved. Because Suiren was selfish and weak, and she was realizing just why it was she had wanted to become strong in the first place.

"Do you think—"

"I'm sure Sasuke is fine."

"R-really? Cause, I don't like him, but he shouldn't . . . "

"I know, Naruto. I know." She got up from her bed to pull him into her arms, and rubbed his back as she felt tears wet her shirt. He made no noise as he cried, and she could tell that he was confused, and of course he would be. Naruto hadn't experienced real grief, and he wouldn't just yet for a while, but Naruto was also the type of person to take everything to his heart and stuff it full. So full it brimmed and brimmed, and he had to become stronger to continue to carry more, and more.

"Why am _I_ crying?" he asked. She kissed the crown of his head. "It's just so _weird_."

Yes, a world to him without the Uchiha's certainly was strange, but to her, she'd already envisioned one. She just hoped the reality she just created was as good at the first one.

* * *

To say it was awkward releasing her Uchiha friends from their cave was a bit of an understatement. At least it was a pretty enclosure, as everything in Byakuren tended to be.

Except, she'd had asked Tancho previously for him to make a summoning jutsu that would allow her to transport thos ein the cave to a designated spot. She wasn't at that level of sealing, so it'd been a great help. Of course the dragon had at first been confused, as well as adamant on not doing it.

Except she'd explained what she'd just done and then he'd complied.

There were lives involved after all, and the koi of Byakuren no Niwa all valued life as the epitome of everything.

" **Kuchiyose no Jutsu!** " Tancho said, and the clearing behind her backyard which was their personal training facility then poofed several human beings right into her yard.

Then came the hard part.

Immediately she was sent a barrage of kunai, for which she'd done her best job dodging. Then she'd had tried her best to anticipate the amount of explosions of fire releases as she could with a well timed and well placed water gun seal. In which case her face was hit with an absurd amount of steam, and probably would have died right then if it weren't for Tancho, her boss, being right there in the open.

Usually people would fear flying serpents, especially when they looked as bad ass as Tancho, except they either didn't notice that there was a giant dragon in the air, or they just didn't care and were after her blood.

She dodged the swing of a tanto, and swung her wrist out to stop the blow, grateful when the blade couldn't penetrate the fortified scales that'd grown on her as a result of her unfortunate circumstances. She grunted at the force, and worked blind as she worked to disrupt a genjutsu trying to take effect on her.

"Kai!" she shouted, and was grateful that genjutsu's had been a recent immunity of hers. Or well, they were a _lot_ harder to hit on her than someone with a functioning chakra system to disrupt.

She would forever hate doing any of her own though.

She hit the floor at that after that thought took hold when someone grabbed her from behind and tried to stab her from behind. She had never been more grateful for the scaled placed at her back than then. She faked slumping forward, and waited for the person holding her to relax before quickly maneuvering herself behind them before she quickly struck her wrist into the back of the neck.

Suiren didn't relax though, and looked up to see all of the children, and the rest of the remaining Uchiha on the floor in chains coming from from the dragon that casually was scratching the back of his head and yawning.

" **Finished?** " Tancho murmured and when the Uchiha's were a bit sedated and not struggling as much, or shouting out obscenities with a surprising amount of creativity, she relented.

It was Tsuneo who spoke first, who was on the ground at her feet, just coming to. He coughed, "What the hell, Suiren?"

"I have something to tell you."

Her voice choked up. "I'm sorry, Tsuneo. I'm sorry."

There were about twelve of them in which she'd saved, the youngest of the clan, and two adult's she'd had to take by force and surprise. If she hadn't had the latter, she didn't think she'd have been able to even get as many as she had.

She looked at them, one of them was a recently born child, and was chained in the grip of his mother, crying out and sobbing.

Suiren was glad she had Naruto out of the house, or else she didn't know how she'd explain this to them. Especially her father.

"Why did you kidnap us? Suiren, you do know how serious of a crime that is, right? We can have you executed." Tsuneo said, and got up from the ground. She let him, although she still kept her guard up, fingering at a kunai in her palm. "I like you enough that I'm willing to listen."

She might as well just say it. "The Uchiha clan has been expunged by Uchiha Itachi. Last night he killed everyone of the clan, aside from those of you he couldn't find, and his little brother Sasuke. This includes you lot." She clenched her teeth.

Suiren said it again, "I'm sorry."

It was like being in the spring again.

* * *

 ** _Unedited and posted (7/7/17)_**

 **A/N:** I really wanted to be at this part by the 11th chapter. I'm also hopeless at action scenes, as well as explaining crap. lol Don't worry, Suiren is not becoming a fish. She has more dragon-like qualities.

So my sister suggestion I do questions for those who want to answer them in reviews, so I'll start doing that now.

1) What do you think of Suiren and the developments?

2) Do you find this chapter believable? Do I need to nerf Suiren? (I'll do it, I'll cut off her right arm.)

3) What sort of scenes would you like to see in the future, or things to happen? I'm willing to listen to suggestions uvu


	12. Lotus-Born

Suiren watched the lotus flowers with a half thought forming while the form before her slept and breathed steadily. She didn't know when he'd awaken, but she'd only been able to take a few moments throughout the day to come watch over him. At first she hadn't had any time at all, but she wasn't thinking about those hardships.

Of what was happening to the Uchiha. Of what was supposed to happen. What her hand in things were.

Instead her eyes were captivated at the interesting duplicity of the situation.

The lotus flower had always been a symbol of rebirth. She'd remembered reading an article about cultures in that far away world that they'd buried their dead loved ones with a lotus to welcome them into their new life. Because reincarnation had been something some had believed in. There was a word for it, she thought.

Lotus-born.

Shisui was similar to her in that way, despite them never really crossing paths before.

He had drowned.

She had drowned.

She'd been born from that chaos, her death spurred on to give her life in a new world. Like the lotus flower born from water. She supposed she was more alike him than anyone else she knew, and that was saying something.

If—no, _when_ —he woke up, he'd have been born for a second time. This time he'd be granted something she'd gifted to him, although she wasn't sure if it was that. What if she'd ended up ruining the plot? Ruining the reality of her world and changing a happy end to a sad end. What if she already had.

She looked at his eyelashes, and felt a strange feeling take place. It wasn't quite hate . . . it was dislike.

For his eyes. For the Uchiha. For her inability to leave well enough alone. For her stupidity. For her weaknesses.

 _It's those damn_ eyes, she thought. She hated the position she was in, that her friend was gone and somewhere no one could reach him. That she had a hand, no matter how small, in _allowing_ _murder to take place under everyone's noses. At the hands of someone so innocent._ She realized something else. Itachi had been born through liquid a second time, too.

Warmth slipped down her cheeks, and she rubbed at the wetted flesh there, still soft and untouched by the scales that were continuing to form around her body like armoured plates. They weren't as hideous as she'd thought they'd be, but neither could she imagine anyone being attracted to them. She was still soft despite them, but she was also hard now. But that didn't matter seeing as she couldn't change it.

And yet, she'd managed to change everything.

* * *

The koi jumped and jumped, and though a few gave up in the end to swim back and join the others who inevitably failed, a few stayed. A few kept at it. Their bodies glistening in the dying day, and even when the night was darkest they kept their bodies moving. Under the moonlight they looked like stars.

To him, the sight gave him courage for himself. For even if he didn't have the same amount of persistence and bravery as his treasured koi, and though there sat demons high above the water fall, and around the lake to laugh at their efforts, he felt no sense of unease. The oni smiled, and watched them a little longer. He had faith.

Even when the other demons took to heightening the waterfall, making it fall larger and more hazardous, he wanted to see the koi be victorious.

So he played a few tricks of his own.

* * *

Shisui woke slowly, and thoughts filtered themselves even slower, but he knew one thing.

 _Is this death?_ He questioned, and when he received no certain answer he opened his eyes, expecting the absolute darkness of being blind, what he saw instead confounded him.

Perhaps he was in heaven.

A surprised feeling surfaced within him when he spotted an angel not far his side, her body slumped in sleep, but he couldn't mistake that inhuman beauty of hers. The skin and hair of snow and clouds, he wasn't sure if all angels looked like blank easels, but he didn't mind if they were.

His breath was locked in his chest just at the sight of her.

But she was also a child, at least three years younger than him. But then again she was an angel, and appeared ageless in her appearance. She shifted in her seat, and blinked in further surprise when her eyes batted open to reveal the eyes of something feline in nature. She seemed to stop breathing herself when they caught eyes, and her lips parted in surprise.

Something about her reminded him of someone he knew in life. Someone he'd grown up watching with Itachi, the two prodigies of their generation. Her genius was lesser than his dearest friend, but he'd remembered her quick movements during her chuunin exams, when she'd unleashed hell on her opponent in the form of explosive seals and cunning intelligence.

But this wasn't her. That girl hadn't had the eyes of a cat, nor was pigment-less. She'd had color to her skin, a slight tan that came to most who worked like them. That and she'd always been quick to blush. He couldn't imagine this look-a-like blushing. He also shouldn't be surprised it was Suiren's likeness the angel had; she had a reputation that made her a girl others not likely to forget, although she hadn't been spotted in recent times. He frowned. People really hadn't seen her in the last few years aside from an incident with T&I, one he'd been apart of. He'd nearly forgotten his hand in that.

Shisui had to shake his head of the thought. He didn't know why he kept thinking of her when he was in the presence of someone clearly entirely different.

"You're finally awake," she murmured, and he shrugged. Wasn't he dead or something? "Shisui—god this is awkward."

He frowned. Something was feeling increasingly off. Did angels talk like that?

"Is this heaven?" he asked, and looked around while he did so. It had to be. The venue was so beautiful he could cry, and he could also see here. He'd been blind right before he'd died, not having any eyes, and now he saw better than he'd ever had. If that didn't mean he was dead, he didn't know what did. It wasn't like it was possible to regenerate limbs or something.

He looked at the water he was seated in, and felt himself cringe. Drowning had not been pleasant, that much he could attest. But here he was, in a body of water, that glowed green and held lily pads and lotus flowers twirling around.

"No?" the girl squeaked, and his gaze snapped to her. "No," she repeated, this time more sure.

"Then where is this?" He suddenly felt a wave of apprehension. If this wasn't heaven then where was he?

"Uzushio, which by the way, I have things to tell you, important ones that might change everything." Her voice was a whisper at the end.

"So I'm alive, and not dead, and I'm in Uzushio?"

His head hurt, but not in the painful way where it actually hurt, he felt like he couldn't even feel an ounce of the pain he should've been feeling. Instead his mind was boggling and shaking trying to comprehend how he could end up in one situation and then suddenly in another, completely different one.

"Are you crazy? Or am I?" The latter was certainly possible.

He thought she was going to tell him something equally outlandish. Instead, she spoke words he dreaded to hear. She told him things he refused to believe, and about things he couldn't fathom.

Shisui felt empty listening.

* * *

Suiren had prepared a room for him in advance inside one of the buildings inside Niwa, and told him things she herself had been told she could tell him. Things like this being a summons village, and all the fishes around them were her contractors. Or something.

Shisui had been surprisingly quiet at her news, and she wasn't sure if he believed her at all. She could see how someone in his situation would just shut down, but she hadn't expected that from Shisui. He'd always seemed the go-getter type, but maybe even those kinds of people had a breaking point. It made her feel nervous, not that she hadn't been feeling like that from the moment he'd set eyes on her.

And he'd had _eyes_! Both of them. It confused her.

Itachi was supposed to have one of his eyes, and so did Danzo. At least that's what it'd been like originally. That's what it should've been like now, except maybe the spring did more than mend broken bones. Maybe it did things Naruto had done at the end and could probably still do and gave him back his eyes. She knew it was that the moment she looked within herself and found the spring still churning with the green chakra of medicine.

Her eyes widened a fraction. That shit was potent. Her mouth went dry.

"I'm not sure if you should come back just yet," she murmured. "I'm already in deep shit as it is."

He looked at her oddly. "You would take me back to Konoha?"

"S-sure," she said and almost immediately regretted it when his eyes shined brightly. That had done it to rev his engines just a bit. "But not right now." She didn't want to die so soon in this life.

But maybe the Uchiha clan wouldn't be so pissed with her if she brought back Shisui. She was still in her kind of asylum with nature or whatever, learning what it meant to be the Koi Sage. Really she'd become close to her fish in the time she'd been there. Three years was a long time, and though she visited her home often, and she was getting better at staying farther and farther away from the spring with no ill-effects, she somehow felt adrift when not close enough. It was a disconcerting feeling.

"What's your name, by the way," he cocked her a look and she frowned.

"You _know_ me." At least she had thought they'd seen each other a few times through her formative years. He'd hung with Itachi and so had she from time to time, although they'd never been together as a group of three. It was more she was Itachi's go to friend when Shisui had been busy and she'd been free. All they'd do then would be to train. She wondered what _fun_ between Itachi and Shisui was but couldn't imagine them getting up to mischief, not that she and Itachi did either.

He blinked, regarding her with newer eyes, "Suiren?"

She nodded, and was surprised to see the blush reddening his cheeks. She had to admit he looked handsome while doing it, but she shook her head of those thoughts immediately.

"You look _different_."

As always when confronted with this, she rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I know. Man have I not kept in touch with people or what." The thought caused her to laugh, and she smiled. Maybe she was a bit crazy now that she thought about it. Throughout the years following her run in with T&I, she'd taken to visiting only a few people when she'd had time to when she wasn't training.

It was almost like a passing dream, the way it happened right before the nightmare it came.

"If your curious as to why I'm like this, it's because I'm a sage now." Not that she wasn't just a bit embarrassed about it though. She knew she looked strange, and most likely not in the good way, if there ever was a good way. "Like my father, although I'm Sage Mode all the time rather than only sometimes. Makes me look funny, I know, but it's whatever."

She wondered why she was telling him all this, but for some reason she felt like she could tell him all her secrets, and that had her stopping right there.

Just because he was in a similar situation as her didn't mean they should automatically be best buds. She wasn't usually this quick to trusting. Mostly it would be easier pulling teeth. She shook her head inwardly. It was hormones, surely. Place any other handsome boy in front of her and she'd feel those teenage hormones kick in and make her go crazy. She'd been through this before in her past life.

That's what it was.

"That's . . . " he didn't seem to know how to finish that sentence. She wasn't sure either.

"I'll take you back tomorrow. For now, I need rest as it's been a long day, so goodnight."

With that, she left him in his temporary room and headed to her own.

* * *

 **Unedited and Posted: (11/29/2017)**

 **A/N** : I'm baaaaacccckkkk!

Hi, this was a long time coming, hmmmmm. I really need to rewrite the eleventh chapter, it was so rushed, at least I remember that much when writing. Only points I forgot to stress when it came to kidnapping the two ninja she had gotten a hand on, besides her friends, was that Suiren has no coils, she literally took them by surprise and knocked them out the way any good ol fashioned person does, straight to the noggin. Because people can't sense her unless they know how to sense nature chakra. I think that's it, also I was kidding about her arm you guys. I wouldn't do that (okay I so would).


	13. So Why'd You Do It?

The crisp morning air filtered through his nostrils, making him forget the summer that was supposed to have lasted longer than it obviously had. It'd been cold for days, and it'd been cold despite the month only being mid June. He'd hoped to see the return of the heat, but the chill, he surmised, most likely had to do with the stench of death permeating from near everything lately. It didn't just permeate from the boy in front of him though—he reeked of it. Absolutely from head-to-toe reeked of blood and guts.

Jiraiya looked at Uchiha Itachi and felt a pinch in his gut at what he saw.

Dead eyes. Tired eyes. Eyes that had no doubt cried recently and yet here he was, in this situation Jiraiya assumed neither of them wanted to be in.

As it was, he was usually full of questions. Questions about the world, questions about life and death, about whether or not he was going to just become a giant toad one day. Things like why people were around to begin with? Why did things happen the way they did? What was the purpose to death if not for it to be an ending, and yet how could there be a cycle that followed there after? What happened when your story finished and you were at the end of the last page?

He had questions, lots of them, but only one for the boy in front of him.

"So why'd you do it?"

* * *

Waves of nerves echoed through her as she and her charge made their way to the Uchiha compound, and they continued to do so even as Shisui told her over and over again that she was probably going to be fine coming with him. He'd said that, but she was thinking it'd be better if she dropped him off and wiped her hands of the Uchiha in general. Forget they even existed and generally just live her days out alone under the sea where Byakuren no Niwa thrived apparently.

She'd forget this world ever existed and just live peacefully with the koi or something.

"Are you sure you want me there?" she asked, and nervously rubbed her fingers together as Shisui looked over at her with a frown.

"You have to be there to explain to them how you saved me," he said. She cringed. When thinking about the other Uchiha's—the ones that survived thanks to her—she had to also admit to herself the lack of trust they had with her, and that was most likely a product of her mishandling of them. She shouldn't have treated them the way she had in acquiring them, but that's just the thing—she _had_ to.

In her plannings during the period for which she'd first started her asylum, she'd realized a few things about her that had helped when it came to certain things, but quickly realized that telling an Uchiha that they were in grave danger wasn't a smart thing to do. She supposed she really didn't have the brains to back up her claim if she thought the smart thing was to kidnap the children she could and Tsuneo's family.

Her chest hurt as she thought about the ones she couldn't have saved. And the one she'd dreaded letting die.

If only he hadn't been her teacher, if only she could've kept her heart separate and didn't _care_ so much. Unconsciously she pressed her fingers to her chest and tried to isolate that ache, to ease it out. As if she could wrinkle it out and start afresh, but she couldn't.

Even if she hadn't killed them herself, she had blood on her hands.

It didn't matter if she didn't have it in her to save _all_ of the Uchiha clan. It didn't matter, because even if she was effected by this situation more than she'd let on to anybody, it was nothing compared to the uncompromising grief of the thirteen—now fourteen—that were still breathing. It didn't matter because her hurt meant nothing if she couldn't use it positively. So she bottled up and when Shisui was waiting for an answer simply smiled before thinking of what to say.

"They don't trust me," she said at first and then sighed. She was glad they weren't roof top jumping, giving him a bit of time to come to term with things, and her the time to wrap her head around _everything_. "They think I had a hand in the murders because I knew about it before it happened."

She stopped walking, and so did he. Her mouth opened wide and she gaped like one of her koi's being struck by something crazy. She hadn't just said that out loud. She didn't, there was no way. Not after living a lie for nearly fourteen years of her life. She couldn't have been _that_ stupid, but yes—she had. She looked at his face and he was stiff, his eyes shifting from their dark onyx color to the wheels of his mangekyo, right before she felt her body seize.

The feeling was similar to the incident she'd been involved in three years ago—like she couldn't breath, but there was still air coming in; like she was on the precipice between a dream and something horrifying. She didn't have any chakra coils, but apparently that didn't matter when it came to the hax'd sharingan.

"What did you mean?" he asked, and his tone became like velvet as he grabbed her hand and pulled her into an alleyway, all the while keeping his eyes on hers.

She had no safety with these questions, she realized. No magic seal keeping those words inside her mouth as she practically vomited in a toneless voice, "I've been dreaming for years about people dying. People I love dying, and I had decided to leave everything alone because in the end it would be a good end. Before I met Itachi, before I met Tsuneo, before Yuu-sensei. I knew about the Uchiha Massacre because I"d seen it in a dream, but I couldn't stop it. It was try to save the few I could or let—" she choked up and though she was still under his gaze, tears managed to pore down her cheeks because she was _weak_.

"Let what?"

She fought answering at first, but not because didn't want to answer, but because the truth _hurt_ , and she so very tired of hurting. But she was nothing in the face of his command.

"Or let everyone there fall under the hands of their _brethren_. How could I stand by and watch as _children_ died to someone they trusted? To watch as needless bodies filled our graveyards too early? _My own team-mate_ , someone I'd _never_ get back, to let him just die with his family. Like I'll never get Yuu-sensei back because _Itachi and that damn masked Obito_ took it upon themselves to do a bit of clean up?" Her voice was so quiet despite her impassioned words, but she wasn't brave enough to hear them louder than that. She needed them to be quiet, for them to be said on a breathless note. So she could pretend she'd never said them at all.

Her shoulders slumped the moment his eyes went back to onyx and she rubbed at her eyes, her stomach sick with the subject matter. She hated this world now. Hated _, hated_ it. A world in which children were soldiers played against those they loved wasn't a world she could adore any longer. Now that it was too real for her heart, not when she knew that those she saved might not live very long if it were up to some parties.

Maybe she'd gifted them worse fates, or maybe she did something to alter the course of everything preconceived but that wasn't a new thought for her. Finally, after a brief moment that passed with their silence, she sighed.

"So you can see the future?" he asked, and she had to give him a pitying laugh for that.

"Just one."

* * *

It was as expected when they walked up to the gate for one of the adults she'd rescued to be there, guarding it along with paid enforcers while the Uchiha were under a state of emergency. She didn't expect a very welcome reception, but neither had she thought she'd garnered the kunai that was flung straight at her forehead, one she'd actually troubles avoiding when it'd been thrown so very, very fast.

She sighed—she'd been doing that a lot.

"Hey!" Shisui called, and she gave him a pointed look that said, ' _see what your clansmen think of me? Kill on sight!_ '

She grumbled. And he'd said not to worry.

The adult she recognized was named Taishi had his face contorted in complete surprise when Shisui pulled her behind him and she'd pretended like she was okay with it. Really she wanted to just get the hell away and run as far as she could and as fast—which she was actually very adept at.

"Shi-Shisui-san?" Taishi called, and Shisui nodded.

"The one and only," the Body-Flicker ninja muttered and sent him a two fingered salute, and announced, "I'm back from the dead and I'd like to know what's going on here."

Taishi shook his head slightly, "Damn, I thought that bastard killed you, too," the man winced and his face morphed into one of pain. She was surprised to see it on his face, mostly because she'd become so used to the Uchiha who refused to allow those sorts of emotion filter through, but it was a testament to how much sorrow he was experiencing that he'd have that expression on even if she was around to see it, a girl they thought was their enemy.

It was Shisui's turn to shake his head, "Itachi didn't kill me, but I'd still like to know exactly what happened."

The other guards were giving Shisui and her questioning glances, and she wondered if maybe in this situation they should have reported to the Hokage's office before heading straight for the compound, but she hadn't wanted to visit Hiruzen and hate him on sight for his utter stupidity. As it was, she really didn't know how she felt. Still, she doubted Shisui was feeling very cozy with those of Konoha anyway, seeing as he'd been in that conflict with Danzo and it had been him who'd spurred Itachi's decision. Or something.

She really wasn't sure went on in the minds of others. She doubted she could ever kill her family for the betterment of the village, not when that meant giving up her dearest brother.

Taishi pulled the gate open and waved Shisui in, but looked at Suiren with obvious contempt. "Keep that bitch away from here, she's a double agent or something."

She was surprised when Shisui's response was to laugh in Taishi's face and say, "I wouldn't take out your frustrations on Suiren-san, she's the only reason either of us are even alive right now." He tugged at her hand and made it obvious to anyone else watching that apparently he would protect her.

A jolt of pain shot through her chest at that. She just couldn't get over her guilt for the others that she didn't save. Because Suiren wasn't a hero, she was just a girl from another world that may or may not be destined to produce a calamity.

Taishi growled, his eyes swirling for a moment, and she blinked when she saw the mangekyo staring out at her.

 _No fucking way,_ she thought. But oh yes, there were more Uchiha that had a hax kekkei genkai, and it occurred to her that that was another product of her dealings.

" _Fine_ ," he grunted out after a stare down between Shisui and him, one that she hadn't paid any attention to besides to have her mind blown! Who else had their mangekyo!? "She can explain herself in great detail about everything she did with that bastard in the main house. But she's yours to keep in check, got it?"

Shisui nodded, "Fine by me."

The three of them walked inside then and she shivered as they went, despite her being covered head-to-toe in a yukata that covered all of the oddities she'd received as a consequence of her being a sage. It was meant for the summer, but it had been cold lately despite it being June, and so she blamed her chills on the weather rather than on the simple knowing that this place had once been filled with people.

Now it was empty and no sounds could be heard aside from the wind-chimes and the the crunch of gravel under her dragging feet. She almost didn't want to go in, and it was obvious in how it was only her feet making any sounds that she was the only one. Shisui beside her was tensed, his eyes darting around and soaking in everything.

There was a well of grief there right inside of him, she was sure, but did she see anything? No.

They walked to the main house and as they did she saw her friend and team-mate Tsuneo pop his head in from out of no where. She blinked owlishly, not knowing what to do in this situation.

He came in quickly, fire in his eyes as his eyes met hers and he strutted over to them, their group stopping to see what he'd do. He didn't even acknowledge the two others, only having eyes for her, and she was sure she was about to be attacked right until the point that he stopped and glared, simply glared at her with his whole being.

After a tense moment he growled something unintelligible. If she was certain she wouldn't have to fight for her life, she'd have made a joke about him suddenly acting like an Inuzuka, but that was probably super insensitive and he'd most likely sooner slit her throat than laugh about it. She gulped, hating this. It wasn't like she'd really kept up a relationship with him while she was gone, she'd come back so often to visit Naruto and her father, and every so often to be with Tsuneo and Minoru and Yuu-sensei. But they'd had to replace her, so she wasn't really apart of their old team, was she?

His face contorted with what she assumed was rage before he stepped closer to her, and Shisui tensed for a moment before Tsuneo launched something at her and she caught the sheen of a kunai right before Shisui could do anything and she could side step it enough.

The moment was so charged and dramatic though that she couldn't help but laugh at the fact that she was bleeding, that her cheek had this intense pain, but she was still chortling and she wasn't even aware what the others were doing before she felt someone tug on her hand to lead her somewhere. She blinked through her tears, rubbing at her eyes and trying to keep another whoop of laughter inside.

God, she was being so rude! She knew that! Yet she couldn't help it. The fact that her team-mate had simply thrown a kunai at her when she knew he could have done a number of nastier things and hadn't even thrown it very well, was _hilarious_ to her. So what that she was bleeding? So what that she probably sounded crazy, and also really fucking inconsiderate.

She opened her eyes to see Shisui's back, and nearly bumped into him as he opened the main house. They all stepped in, saying nothing, and even her peals of laughter had stopped.

Suiren was led through the halls, and the sadness was instantly back, remembering her guilt and then regretting her reaction. She pressed her hand to her cheek and pulled it away to see the blood thick there. The cut didn't hurt nearly as much as everything else did.

People used to walk here, just like her and then they were gone. Murdered by their own family, and she couldn't imagine how any of it was right.

Her hands clenched, if she ever got her hands on Danzo she'd personally have to slit his throat.

But she couldn't do that either, knowing the kill belonged to Sasuke, or heck, any of the other survivors. She paused in thought, her feet still shuffling after the group, her hand still in Shisui's. Danzo's own arm had been filled with the sharingan of the deceased. She blinked.

The bodies.

"The bodies," she murmured, and the group paused to look at her, Taishi and Tsuneo's eyes drawn in intense hate. Shisui was the only one who looked curious by what she said. She stammered, but she had to continue to be sure. "W-what did you do with the bodies?"

Taishi glared, "Why do you ask?"

She bit her lip, looking at Shisui for a moment. Should she tell them all? She'd always kept everything a tight secret, close to her heart. It wasn't until Shisui that she unvieled something so close, but it hadn't been willingly. A part of her was angry at that, that just earlier she had been taken hostage in her own body against her will and made to tell truths that could've done something terrible if Shisui had asked for anymore. But just like last time, because she was sure he'd been the one who'd sharingan'd her at T&I, he'd asked the relevant question and hadn't delved deep enough for real answers.

Why he did that, she didn't know, but maybe he hadn't know he could've asked for more. That he could have asked her to bare her soul to him, but in the end all she'd managed was to tell him a version of the truth through her forced words.

She'd told him she'd received these visions through dreams—and a part of that was true. That world really was like a dream, something she disassociated herself with entirely. Things that once been memories were like hazy wisps of things she was beginning to forget and forget. But it was all there, hidden by whatever age did to those sights inside her head. And sometimes she did end up seeing it while asleep, so she hadn't lied. Not really. She just hadn't given him the full truth.

She clenched her teeth.

Shisui knew, and she supposed she would've told the rest the same thing she'd told him anyways, but now this time it'd have to be of her own volition.

Even if they were in the hallways still, and not even a meeting room, she felt this was good as time as any.

Opening her mouth she said, "I know things. I've always had a way of knowing certain things. Mostly it's come to me in dreams, but the massacre of your clan has always been one that has haunted me."

Shisui nodded, crossing his arms while the other guys looked at her funny. Tsuneo looked at her like she was crazy, and she supposed so did Taishi.

Those two weren't going to believe her unless they knew she wasn't lying about it.

In a flash, she threw her hands up in exasperation, "Shisui, just do your thing, you can ask me whatever you want." Just nothing about reincarnation, fish, or seals. And other things like the fate of the world. Then again that wouldn't matter seeing as the fate of the world was now a big fat undecided question mark.

She squeaked when his eyes wheeled and her heart stopped, yet continued beating. She was breathless again.

"How long have you known about the massacre?" His voice was velvet again, and she had to comply.

"Since birth." Her voice was without inflection.

"How?"

Reading it in—"Stories. Dreams. Dreaming." Though she wasn't reacting outwardly, inwardly she was reeling from the almost slip up. She cringed, hoping they hadn't noticed.

"And you saw what in your visions exactly?"

"Masked man. Itachi and him killing everyone because of the upcoming coup. Itachi couldn't stop it, couldn't bring the village and the clan together. Had to make a choice. The leaf or his own family. He loves too much. Danzo gave him the mission. The bodies, the eyes. Danzo later uses the eyes to implant all over his arm. His eye. He stole your eye during your fight with him. You gave up, gave your other eye to—" She blinked. She didn't even really know all what she just said, but she'd been stopped by the one holding her gaze.

"Enough." Shisui dropped his gaze like last time, but this time he looked more calculating, and then blew out a charged breath. Probably thinking about Danzo, but in the moment she didn't really care about much of anything with the exhaustion she was starting to feel. It was bone deep, and so tiring she had to lean a bit on the wall beside to keep up.

There was a long silence that reigned before Tsuneo piped up, "Is that why you did what you did?"

"Yes. I had to save you." For what felt like the thousandths time that day, tears slipped down her cheeks when she thought about what not being able to save Yuu-sensei was like. What not being able to save everyone was like. Guilt. Too much of it for one person. "I'm sorry."

"Why did you never tell anyone _before_?" Tsuneo ground out, his voice harsh. She flinched. "You could have told _me_. Or _Yuu-sensei! Or fucking anyone_! All of this would have never happened!"

That was when she had enough.

"No I couldn't!" she shouted back, and the two swapped heated glares. She was so docile in nature that she usually would've just taken the loss and taken whatever was dished at her, but this time was different. She didn't want to feel like the world was on her shoulders just because she knew about a future. Just because she had to be the way she was. She was tired of having that be pushed onto her. And even if she would feel guilty til the day she died a second time, she had no intentions of being _punished_ for it.

"Yes you could have!" he shouted back.

"No I couldn't because no one would have believed me! And besides, you guys were planning your coup! You were going to kill the rest of us anyways! Itachi was looking at it from the perspective on what kind of loss of life would follow after! He didn't want _anyone_ to die! Let alone to have to kill his own parents! His own cousins! The girl he liked! I understand it better than you guys think! It was ordered under the pretense that you were planning to incite a war and kill us all. And you know what that would have meant? You guys are _monsters,_ you could have the whole lot us on our asses with your bloodline, heck, maybe in the future you do because I decided to risk my brother's happiness for you! Because I love you all so much!"

Fire coursed through her blood, and she growled, an animalistic sound that raised the hairs on her own skin, but she didn't stop. There was too much be to said.

"And isn't that what your whole stupid fucking curse is? Love!? That you all love too much that it becomes like hate? Well you should know your curse has the potential to do a lot more damage than you lot fucking think! And you know what, Tsuneo? I tried my best! It's not like I could've hit Hiruzen upside the head and made him see the fucking light of day! He's an old, stupid man who doesn't know how to see the corruption right in front of his very eyes! And I'm sorry! I'm sorry because the Uchiha clan has always had the humiliating position in Konoha because of damn Tobirama after Hashirama died! I know how segregated you all felt! I understand all those things!"

"Then why didn't you tell anyone!?"

"Because there was already a happy ending! Because my brother was happy! Because even Sasuke would have been happy! B-because I'd only ever planned to change one thing when I realized what the truth of what I was seeing was! My father's going to die, Tsuneo! At the hand of his own fucking student! And not just him! So many people are going to die! But it's worth it right? As long as the ones I love are happy? As long as in the end the world rights itself the moment my brother saves the world!?" She was sobbing then, fat tears dripping down her face and then she slumped, loosing the strength in her legs.

Lowly, she muttered, "He would have been so happy in that future. But what if I've changed it to where that's not possible anymore? What if _he_ dies and we're all just lost because he's the only one we can really count on? What if because of me he doesn't become that hero? What if? What if, huh? Ha! Hahaahh! Hah!" Her laughter tapered off before she settled enough to palm her face and sobbed, "Face it, Tsuneo. Just face it. It's no use asking what if. The only response you're ever gonna get back is something you don't want to hear."

Suiren didn't react at first when she felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked up to see her friend, tears in his own eyes as he leaned down and wrapped his arms around her. She stopped breathing. Stopped thinking as she received the first hug she'd ever gotten from her friend. Before everything that had had changed everything for good had occurred, he'd been quiet just like her. Yet sometimes he'd have the bright idea to do something fun, and she'd followed after him with Minoru. And Suiren . . . well, she missed that so much she could die.

That camaraderie she had with them, and she understood Naruto's desire to bring his friend back, because in his shoes she would have done the same.

Her insides warmed and soon she pulled her arms out and hugged him back, and as payback for all the heart-ache she'd experienced as a side effect of being such a staunch supporter of the Uchiha, she rubbed her snot and tears all over the front of his shirt.

"I'm sorry, too, Ren." She shook her head of the apology and looked up, smiling for the first time in days. She loved her nickname falling from her friends mouth, knowing that they were on their way to bridging something she'd thought was undoubtedly broken.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Tsuna," she replied, using his.

It was his turn to shake his head, and sheepishly, he added, "It's gonna leave a scar." He brought his hand up to her cheek as a reminder and she shrugged. She'd already forgotten it, despite the blood she realized would be caked on her hands. Probably all over her yukata.

But, really, "So what?"

He frowned, pulling back from her. "I thought girls cared about their faces, and you're such a girl I thought it'd be the worst thing I could do to you."

A laugh erupted from her, "Is that why your aim sucked? I thought you were trying to kill me, but hadn't been practicing or something so you missed. Didn't know you wanted to mark up my face."

He was still looking at her weird, but he sounded sincere as he said, "Nah, I couldn't kill you, Ren. I thought about it when I thought you'd been working with Itachi, but I couldn't do it."

Whether he knew it or not, that was just how friends were supposed to feel. Nakama til the end and all that.

"Okay, love birds, we have more to discuss than whether Suiren-san will scar from your love-cut," someone said and the both of them looked up to see Taishi and Shisui still hanging back and watching them. To be honest, she'd forgotten they'd even been there.

Tsuneo helped her up, and she smiled even though it was starting to hurt, and she had to stop so she could be serious again. But it was so hard to do when she was feeling so light! Maybe she was bi-polar, she thought, because how could one have from one go from lowest to the low, to a straight high.

"We aren't love birds," Tsuneo immediately grumbled, and she had to laugh. He sounded so serious. She elbowed him, like she used to do and felt a return to a bit of normalcy and looked at Shisui and Taishi with a renewed sense of determination. She'd tell them some of what she knew, but only what they needed to. She wasn't about to give them all her secrets, but this time it'd be of her own voice.

* * *

 **Unedited and Posted (12/1/17)**


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